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Roxas_XIII
Rebel Leader and Pizza Connisseur
Joined: Jan 09, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 1402
Location: Tokyo Settlement - Area 11, at the local Pizza Hut
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 Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:59 am Post subject: Psychological Warfare 101 |
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So, today i was walking down the street when these two guys that I REALLY hate showed up and started to shoot their mouths off. After about 7 minutes of mincing words, cracking knuckles and loosening katanas in their sheaths, i finally decided that I had had enough and, after a parting shot, went on my merry way. UNFORTUNATELY, my merry way was also the path that my foes had chosen to tread. I had a quarterstaff with me, and after looking back over my shoulder and seeing them trailing me like they were going to do something, i finally turned around and was about to open a can of whoop-ass on them. But I couldn't bring myself to start a fight. Why? Because staff crime = jail time, and i am sure none of us want to spend a night in the brig (otherwise it wouldn't be a punishment).
And then I had one of those ideas. Yes. One of THOSE ideas.
So i whipped out my trusty cellphone, touched three buttons on the numpad (ok, two, but one of them twice) and after 30 seconds of conversation, i looked up, and they were hightailing it down the street like two bats outta hell.
Ok, i know what you're thinking, right? I dialed 911, and the conversation was with the police dispatcher. That's what THEY would tell you, if you were stupid enough to ask. But here's something they don't know... IT WAS FAKE!!!! HAHAHA!!! I said I TOUCHED the 9 and 1 buttons, i didn't say i actually PRESSED THEM! As for the conversation... well, if i can become the star of the school rendition of Romeo and Juliet, I think i have enough acting ability to fake a conversation with a dispatcher. Those bastards didn't know what hit them! After the rounded the corner to hide in their house, fearfully awaiting the sound of police sirens, i kept on walking and snuck into my house the back way. HAHAHAHAAA, SUCKERRRRRRSSSS!!!!!
Here's some tips if you find yourself in a similar situation:
* When "dialing", make sure the numpad is facing AWAY from your pursuers, and tap your thumb once on the 9 and twice on the 1.
* During the "conversation", first state whats going on. Something like 'there are these people who are following me, ive told them X amount of times to go away, and they've been threatening me, i need the police, yada yada.'
* After that, wait about 2-3 seconds, then state your location. If you're at an intersection, look to the nearest street sign and say you're "at the corner of X and X. If you're not near an intersection, state your street name and the two nearest intersecting streets in fromt and behind you."
* Chances are they will get the gist about this time and run. Don't "hang up" or move from your location until they are out of sight. Then, go the opposite direction and circle around and go home and lock the door.
* If they don't fall for it, then you REALLY need to dial 911. also it helps to have a Plan B lying around...
* And, MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, never let the secret out. If they find out you faked the call, you'll end up with a "boy who cried wolf" phenomonon and the effectiveness of this trick will decrease rapidly. Also, it's best to avoid confrontations with the same people, just to be safe.
Well, that's lesson for today. Homework... none. Damn I'm getting soft...
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Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! |
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GoatMan
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 05, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 313
Location: Beaverton, Oregon
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Ingenious! Though I prefer the feeling of a physical defensive weapon I can keep on hand, you are right that it's better to avoid using them unless you are attacked first.
Though another option you may want to consider for your psychological warfare "Plan B" is to study the AO (Area of Operations) in advance, and learn how to use it to your advantage. Light sources, shadows, objects such as recycling boxes or garbage cans, cars, etc, can all be used to obstruct or distort your actual position and dimensions.
Another thing to consider are reversible jackets and generic clothing, which will make it very easy to disappear in a crowd.
Finally, very dark sunglasses offer two great advantages. First, the human mind is far more capable of recognizing a face if one sees the eyes of the suspect. If the eyes are hidden, the brain has difficulty relying simply on the contours of the face to make an identification. Secondly, sunglasses that are heavily tinted can be used as a mirror (you've probably seen the "spy glasses" sold in catalogs which enhance this feature) to see behind you.
Similarly, you can use surrounding windows, wine glasses, or other reflective objects as mirrors, to avoid turning your face towards your attackers, and making it easier for them to identify you.
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My motto:
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Dress like a soldier |
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Esperanza
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 885
Location: Karazhan
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:44 am Post subject: |
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I am really bewildered as to why you would not have REALLY dialed 911 in the first place. Why on Earth would you FAKE it? What is the advantage of faking it? You have a real complaint and those people were really threatening you and the police would really have come and you would really have been well within your rights. Actually calling the police would have been a much smarter thing to do.
If you felt endangered enough to FAKE calling 911 then you should have actually done it. |
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Scramjet
Sea Gull
Joined: May 13, 2007
Posts: 220
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 4:39 am Post subject: |
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Hehe, I had an incidence with some bullies invading the next-door-neighbor's garden to stand right in front of my window, yelling abuse at me and throwing whatever they could get at, in through the open window (at height of a hot summer). But flailing a camera and mentioning reporting things to the authorites was pretty efficient at getting them to scurry off...! 
And remember: Some cell phones can take photos and even video. Yours may not be that fancy, but who says bullies are experts in the various cell phone models available? Just aim some "orifice" on the thing at them, and press something that'll make it go "beep". Then look at the screen with a satisfied look on your face...! |
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phenomenon
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 323
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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Somewhat similar experience -
I had a HUGE problem with bullies in 8th grade, and I lived in a small village so everyone knew where everyone else lived. Plus, the school bus dropped me off right in front of my house so it was fairly obvious to my tormentors. I used to hear a lot of rumblings about me being "jumped" and once or twice they would follow me off the bus and stand outside my house. (The reason for all this bullshit was because I sat quietly in the back of the bus and didn't talk to anyone, although once they started throwing food at me on the bus and hitting me I went apeshit and started beating people senseless, which made it funnier for them.)
Anyway a few months into the school year one of the construction workers nearby walked into my house (as I said, small village in England so we just left our doors unlocked), saw me standing there, made up an excuse he was looking for something, went and rummaged around in one of the rooms, and walked back out. As a result, we got a GIANT dog (similar to a Newfoundland) that was a lot of bark but didn't bite...however all people heard was that deep, scary bark. A few months down the line this puppy turned into a MASSIVE beast, and while I was still bullied fiercely on the bus, no one EVER interfered with me in my neighborhood again (The best was seeing all their dumb jaws drop in the window as the bus pulled away when I brought out my massive dog for an after school walk) |
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Roxas_XIII
Rebel Leader and Pizza Connisseur
Joined: Jan 09, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 1402
Location: Tokyo Settlement - Area 11, at the local Pizza Hut
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Esperanza wrote: | I am really bewildered as to why you would not have REALLY dialed 911 in the first place. Why on Earth would you FAKE it? What is the advantage of faking it? You have a real complaint and those people were really threatening you and the police would really have come and you would really have been well within your rights. Actually calling the police would have been a much smarter thing to do.
If you felt endangered enough to FAKE calling 911 then you should have actually done it. |
Well, ACTUALLY i was kinda in the wrong myself, for waving my staff in their faces more than a few times, that probably would've been construed as a threat had the authorites shown up. Besides, i don't really get along with some police officers, and if they had shown up, my parents would have probably found out, which would've been rather bad.
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Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! |
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Roxas_XIII
Rebel Leader and Pizza Connisseur
Joined: Jan 09, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 1402
Location: Tokyo Settlement - Area 11, at the local Pizza Hut
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Wait a minute... how is this in the news forum? Could a moderator please move this topic?
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