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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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 Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:53 am Post subject: Roommate Rant |
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i donw even know where to start......
just had a two hour predominantly-one-sided fight with my roommate where he incessantly yelled at me and called me horrible names and barely ever let me get a point in. kept interrupting me yet cursing me when id do the same thing to him... and just all this sh**.
two fights ago he said he loved me...... which was BS
our last fight was over him denying that he said that (in the previous fight) and he berrated me for even thinking he meant that "like that" ... and he gave me sh** for saying how he always tries to hit on me...
and then tonight.... he fessed up to it again... saying he ws sorry for it all and how he's been acting. wtf! he always does this. he says im hypocrytical...... he's such a liar he cant even keep his own life straight and he always conveinently doesnt remember things that he says.... which totally makes it pointless to argue with him. it's always like this... totally frustrating cause i cant tell if he does remember what he's said previously and is just being a spureme asshole... or if he really doesnt remember.
after are fight kind of ended, we just sat on the couch.... but when he got up to go to bed he started stomping and slamming stuff... "immitating me" or whatever.... and all night he's been like, "you know, i never hold grudges against you.. blah blah blah im a good person," and when he was doing this BS act on the way out of the room.... i called him on it.... and all he did was mime me back and make faces at me on his way out of the room.
booting him out. i dont know how i will pay rent. im going to go to financial aid monday morning to see if i cant take out a small loan to help pay for my tuition and maybe get something for assisted living if possible. im packing my stuff up into a moving crate this month for when i leave for my next program... maybe i can find a cheapr place. he paid me for half a month today... so i think im giving him just that to get out....
to top it off.... i dont give a rat's ass about most of what he said tonight... cause like i said... it's kinda of circular fighting we always have cause he doesnt acknowlege the things he does.... he doesnt feel the things he does to annoy me are anywhere on level with what i do to annoy him.... btw, he hasnt even looked up the first thing about AS, which i have tried telling him to do... but w/e... if he doesnt care, then he doesnt... but he still wont listen when i tell him that i dont care what he thinks should or shouldnt bother me... he just keeps doing them and i dont care anymore to try and not annoy him. he keeps saying im rude and disrespectful when he doesnt give a thought about his own actions... refuses to see it even when i explain why things bother me. he just discredits them and then tries to tell me what he thinks is wrong with me...
but i digress... he hit on something that really bothered me... at one point he asked me if ANYONE who had ever lived with me didnt hate my guts or somethin to that effect. i lied and said, "yes"
but the truth is...... no one likes me. not the real me.
just my cats.
times like this, i hate AS......... no matter how i try.... people make me feel like sh**. like i do to them, i guess.... so it's fair
but it was so mean to say that.
im crying
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Last edited by Sedaka on Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:07 am; edited 3 times in total |
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:57 am Post subject: |
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My wife had a hellish time getting
along with others too. I'd get pretty
damned pissed at most that I've lived
with. You just need to find the right
kind of person to live with. I'd suggest
trying to be alone. I screwed it up here,
but I'm not happy living with random folks
at all. |
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gwenevyn
asdf forever
Joined: May 07, 2007
Posts: 6179
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:00 am Post subject: |
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Ugh... I'm so sorry this happened the way it did. 
Try not to take to heart what he said. I have the feeling one could truthfully turn that ugly comment right back at him, hmm? He's just using the classic tactics of people who like to live with drama in the household. "Who? Me? Say (what he just said 30 minutes ago)? Wherever would you get that idea?"  Gaslighters suck.
If it's any consolation, I don't think anybody likes living with me, either.  And I think you're great, from what I see of you here. |
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:16 am Post subject: |
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| gwenevyn wrote: | Ugh... I'm so sorry this happened the way it did.
Try not to take to heart what he said. I have the feeling one could truthfully turn that ugly comment right back at him, hmm? He's just using the classic tactics of people who like to live with drama in the household. "Who? Me? Say (what he just said 30 minutes ago)? Wherever would you get that idea?" Gaslighters suck.
If it's any consolation, I don't think anybody likes living with me, either. And I think you're great, from what I see of you here. |
heh.... i told him he's too much drama and he did just that "who me?" he's always starting conversations on things that definitely lead towards a fight. he was telling me how if we're gonna hate eachother, then let's not talk; but that confuses him when i talk and say nice things to him... he said that when he then turns around and says something to me, that i immediately start shitting on him.
the thing is... he doesnt just sit and chat (well, he does when im working or wowing and cant divide my attention)... he always starts conversations on, "why do you do this" or "you know how..." he always starts down these conversational lines that you know probably arent going to go anywhere good. it's nice that he tries to figure stuff out... but when you cant have a logical debate where he recollects the things he does/says and actually get somewehre....fights insue and it's just pointless. then somehow, the whole fight is my fault....
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:23 am Post subject: |
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You haven't properly trained him
to leave you the hell alone. |
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gwenevyn
asdf forever
Joined: May 07, 2007
Posts: 6179
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:33 am Post subject: |
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| Sedaka wrote: | | he always starts conversations on, "why do you do this" or "you know how..." he always starts down these conversational lines that you know probably arent going to go anywhere good. it's nice that he tries to figure stuff out... but when you cant have a logical debate where he recollects the things he does/says and actually get somewehre....fights insue and it's just pointless. then somehow, the whole fight is my fault.... |
I know what you mean. I hate it when people start going down that road.
With my ex-"husband", I had begun to consider that maybe I was crazy, due to his convenient distortion of reality during discussions. It was very confusing. So once when he started coming at me, I took out a notepad and wrote down verbatim what he said. "To be sure I've understood you correctly," I told him. Sure enough, a few minutes later he was already pretending he hadn't said it.
The most poisonous people I've met all employ that tactic regularly--the scariest ones do it with full conscious effort. |
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: |
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| calandale wrote: | You haven't properly trained him
to leave you the hell alone. |
well... if he responded to anything else then i could hope that he would leave me alone... but nothin gets through to him.
ive told him i cant chat and work/wow and he's like "just tell me to shutup" but whenever i do............... he gets all huffy and i can tell ive pissed him off.... but i dont know what to say......
leave me alone!
yet the next gd day........... repeat repeat repeat.
he thinks i work too much (i do but that's what i do) and he always tries to make me stop doing my things; whether it's work or leisure... i like to do stuff........ alone.
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Not the type to go after him with
a knife, I guess? |
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| gwenevyn wrote: | | [The most poisonous people I've met all employ that tactic regularly--the scariest ones do it with full conscious effort. |
that's another thing........ he always lies. like when things are good and fine... his humor is to tell tall tales and trick me with all this tidbits of knoweldge sorta.... im a fact magnet and im gullible.... and he knows it
i just get tired of having to always tell whether he's lying or not............ which makes me think he does this on purpose in fights cause he always knows what to come and apologize about later....
he gave me sh** tonight for using that as a crutch "that he lies".......... he was like, "im tired of hearing you say thatl; that's all you have to say about me". and im like well, stop doing it then.... it makes me keep my gaurd up.... AND NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDLY WITH YOU
he's given me this line that "im messed up, blah blah have been in jail (well, juvie) so im messed up and can't help it".... and tonight, i was like, what am i suppoesd to do with that? why do you expect me to change (what i know i cant change... i cant help i dont like him just trying to give me a backrub w/o asking.... he just puts his hands on me and gets all offended when i jerk away) when you just throw out this crap as an excuse? y
his response was literally, "do you think i ever would have told you about how messed up my childhood was? you dont even know!" he tried to backpedal that he had never used that like before......
and he then proceeded to keep yelling.
im so mad. i want to go in and wake him up and grab him by the throat and throw him out on the street... straight throttling him homer style.
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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Danielismyname
Alone around people
Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 6031
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:59 am Post subject: |
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This and your previous post
makes him sound like most
or the other half anyway
of humanity
that live on childish conflict
the subjects may change
but the age stays the same
it's hard not to respond when they inflict their idiocy
onto you
it's not "you"
it's "them"
'cause you're thinking that it's "you"
and he would be too |
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:59 am Post subject: |
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I can understand teasing the gullible.
I think I'd kill anyone who tried touching
me regularly, if I made it clear that it wasn't
appropriate. |
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5218
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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sunnycat
dance of the broken bones
Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Posts: 1207
Location: Mysterious Forest of Legends, Kitty Dream Planet
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| Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 4:10 am Post subject: |
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It sounds awful how he treats you!
Especially the way he criticizes you and disempowers you by asking 'has anyone ever not hated your guts?' That was an AWFUL question to ask...very manipulative...
Sedaka, no matter what he says you are a precious being and you are a great person!!!!
He sounds like he's got issues of his own which he needs to work on...I'm glad you're kicking him out..
We don't need to hold on to misery and negative influences!=We don't need to put up with assholse in our lives!
I just hope your financial situation works out...things will work out so cheer up and love yourself!!!
By the way your cats are lovely...I have two cats...Love of a cat is such a precious gift... |
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