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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 58
Posts: 8238
Location: Oregon, USA
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 Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:45 pm Post subject: Serious Consequences of Suicidal Behaviour |
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I got some information today... a man, a married man, with living parents and a brother going through chemo therapy, that was a frequenter of my monthly Asperger's Syndrome group drank enough Anti Freeze to shut down his kidneys. His wife saw him acting drunk like and got him in the car and to the emergency room where he promptly went into a 6 hour coma. He has been in the hospital for a week and a half and is going to come home tomorrow.
now, I have attempted suicide myself, and I have a 14 inch scar all down my right side of my face and several fractured vertebrae. I understand the pain of living on with the damage, the stigma of being a 'suicide attempt-er' and learned how to wave away the 'well wishers' that are gushingly glad you were such a incompetent fool.
I live in a State where there is a legal Suicide Assistance Law. John didn't avail himself of that, because he wasn't medically terminal. He certainly was mentally terminal, though. He made his decision and he drank the anti-freeze.
My point is: My first thoughts were too inappropriate even to write here in the In Depth Adult Discussion area. And if they aren't allowed here, with other Aspies/ Auties that might like to discuss their thoughts on the subject -where would we ever feel safe enough?
Merle |
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Izaak
Squeeky Bathtime Companion
Joined: Jun 11, 2007
Posts: 1154
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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I would say post those thoughts.
I am an incompetent suicidal person myself. I do not particularly like to think about it, as it was many years ago and that mental state seems so far removed now that it seems almost bizarre.
As for suicide itself, I don't like it when people judge. You can not know the amount of pain a person can endure (physical/mental/emotional) and in the end it is their choice. As much as now I believe my life is worth living, one can not project their own opinions onto others.
Hopefully this man can learn to love life again, but if he doesn't, I don't see why he should be forced to remain alive if he choses not to.
Those are my thoughts. I don't know if that is the type of thing you wanted to discuss, but it's what my brain came up with. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 58
Posts: 8238
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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thank you Izaak, it is exactly what I wanted to discuss.
Merle |
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Remnant
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 02, 2005
Posts: 2020
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| Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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I don't like the idea that I must stay alive to "keep from hurting someone." One of the people who preaches this the most has spent an insane amount of time and effort hurting me, and claims to be the one who would be most hurt by my passing.
Being able to provide a pleasant day for even one being is worth a lot more. |
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nirrti_rachelle
Go Tigers!
Joined: Jul 22, 2005
Age: 33
Posts: 1187
Location: The Dirty South
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:50 am Post subject: |
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Oh boy, this brings back not so pleasant memories. I attempted suicide about three years back by taking a bottle of Zoloft pills. (shows you just how affective they were on my depression  )
Of course, I vomited them up and just said, the heck with it, and called 911. The two paramedics that took me to the ER said that I would go to hell if I killed myself and blamed my lack of church attendance for my depression. Yeah, right like God was ever there in the first place to help. If he exists, he sure is a bastard for sending people to hell for things he's supposed to be capable of controlling.
The only reason I don't try anymore is because of my grandmother. If something happened to me, it would just destroy her. I feel the same way about her since it just wouldn't be worth it to be alive without her.
_________________
"There is difference and there is power. And who holds the power decides the meaning of the difference." --June Jordan |
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Izaak
Squeeky Bathtime Companion
Joined: Jun 11, 2007
Posts: 1154
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| Nirrti, I do hope you find a reason to go on besides your grandmother. |
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Danielismyname
Alone around people
Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 6033
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| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| My thoughts: do what you want with yourself, I don't care...and if I do care for you, I'd respect your decision. This is the whole: I'm me and you're you, and you'll never be where I've been; I'll never walk where you've walked.... |
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nutbag
Moofy Prime
Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 3039
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:10 am Post subject: |
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Not excuses, just reality. . .I suffer disability and daily pain. I am old and impoverished and frustrated. I have low self esteem and confidence. I have healed from abuse, but scars remain deep in my mind and soul.
I would leave, but research shows how difficult it is to kill onesself. All too often the person attempting suicide ends up damaged but still here.
I have two simulteneous equations. One is my fear of messing the job. this function is a constant. The other is a variable measure of my pain(s). My guess is that at some point the curves will cross. Time will come.
ex. This post took fifteen minutes, asthma and dealing with it.
_________________
Who is John Galt?
Still Moofy after all these years
It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion
cynicism occurs immediately upon pressing your brain's start button |
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 4:22 am Post subject: |
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I've wanted to die since as long ago as
I could remember. Even through happy
times. Never had the will, or the guts.
And, when it came down to it, when my
wife tried to kill herself, I selfishly tried
to prevent her from ever doing it again.
It's such a damned hard topic. We're not
supposed to condone it, but I strongly feel
that anyone SHOULD have the right. Still,
making such a decision from desperation,
especially when it's not absolutely clear that
things can't get better, always seems foolish.
Then, when I think about it more, I realize that
I want out for the damned stupidist of little reasons.
There are other ways of escaping the pain. Maybe
worse, but other ways.
Sorry if I'm being less than coherent here. |
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Mushroom
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 25, 2007
Posts: 826
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:40 am Post subject: |
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I've attempted suicide a few times. The first time was when I was 9... I tried to "faint" as hard as I could... but it didn't work.
After that I've thought about suicide, but never really tried to suicide except three times...
The first time I tried to suffocate myself. I simply fainted and my head hit the edge of my desk and my grip became loose so I didn't die. I tried again but it didn't work...
The second time, I drank some perfume... but I think it wasn't enough to kill me.
The third time I tried suffocating myself again but I think my defence mechanism has become stronger since my first attempt with this. In the end my parents found out and didn't let me do it...  |
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Starr
Threadkiller, Ist Class.
Joined: Sep 18, 2006
Posts: 4341
Location: Where there be dragons
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:58 am Post subject: |
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As you say, Sinsboldly, if we cannot discuss the subject here, then where?
I'm glad you started this thread, it's not an easy subject to discuss so a lot of us carry these feelings locked inside, maybe for many many years. To know that others have felt this way, and can talk about them is a great help.
I agree with Calandale, in theory anyway, that anyone should have the right to end their life. But if we saw a loved one or a friend, or even a stranger, attempting suicide could we/should we stop them? I don't think it would be possible to not intervene. Unless it was a case of someone who was terminally ill and in great pain. I think it's cruel that in the UK anyway, doctors aren't allowed to 'assist death' in such cases. There have been some much publicised cases of people here with terminal conditions going to the Netherlands to be helped to die with dignity. I think it's the 'with dignity' that is so important to them and I can understand that.
When someone without a terminal illness but suffering from say, depression, feels suicidal, that's where it gets difficult. I've suffered from depressive episodes for 35 years and have thought seriously of suicide several times. But once it's been treated and the depression has lifted, I was always glad to find myself still alive.
I suppose the subject of suicide becomes even more difficult for people who hold very strong religious views on it.
It is a very difficult subject. But I think it's very positive to discuss it. |
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NobelCynic
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 29, 2006
Age: 60
Posts: 143
Location: New Jersey, U.S.A.
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 9:49 am Post subject: |
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I once spent five days in the anti-suicide wing of a hospital when I had a meltdown at work. I never tried to kill myself, though I did have a plan which I think was absolutly foolproof, and it was very comforting to have that plan knowing that I could execute it anytime I found the pain of life too much to bear. For those who might find it interesting, my signature is part of a prayer, I prayed repeatedly in those days, asking God to do it for me. He would not, and I would not counter his will.
I signed myself out of the hospital, against medical advice, because I did not see the point of my being there. They were not giving me a reason to live; the reason I am still alive, is that I don't have a reason to die either.
_________________
I am not like normal people
I don't even like normal people |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 5002
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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If you dont own your own life....who does?It makes no sense to me that society condemns suicide.I think it is such a taboo because if it is excepted as an opption,society fears there wouldnt be enough people left to bury all the bodies.I am always shocked when someone says they have never even thought about suicide...  .
I realized a few years back that the only thing that actually kept me alive(and taking a few chances in life),was the opption of suicide.I was afraid of everything and probably would have ended up never leaving the house if I didnt know that....whatever I did,if it got to bad,I always had that choice.It actually gave me courage to live.I did try a few times when I was younger.I thought they were pretty good methods and the fact that I survived them made me very suspicious that ....they had worked but I was just "reborn" in the same place,same body,etc on another dimension...ie...there was no real escape from whatever you are here to learn...so you better start paying attention so you can "graduate" and get out of this body.
I dont think about death much any more(suicide was my most faithful friend,always there to kiss the tears away,and say,say,say,,,pick me,I will show you....yes and whole and trueth and right,his sycle kept me company at night).I am killing time instead of killing myself....and trying to pay attention.My cats would miss me.I dont want to hurt them.Perhaps when they are gone....if I am in to much pain,I will reconsider.No one will take away my right to choose.
Remember,"Solent Green"?What would be better then taking some relaxing drug,watching a movie about animals and being made into crackers to feed the hungry?To bad we mostly eat the poor in this world.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
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nutbag
Moofy Prime
Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 3039
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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I had made an appt. with doctor about the asthma that keeps me a wake hours at night, causes me to puke, and leaves me feeling as thouth I have been wored over by a prize fighter several times each week. Before I could get there to se him, my truck has a major failure. . .
I have no real solutions yet, but looks like within a few weeks, a new used vehicle will have to replace gruck, looks like I will have zero savings again. Looks like a looooong tome to go before I can see a doctor..
This getting reset to the "start" square of life is getting tough. Too many times. I am too old. I am running low of give a damn.
That pain curve is rising. And I feel as though the god of the universe wantsme alive just so his cat,s mouse moves around some more.
_________________
Who is John Galt?
Still Moofy after all these years
It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion
cynicism occurs immediately upon pressing your brain's start button |
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Remnant
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 02, 2005
Posts: 2020
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Krex, did you ever get the feeling that you have to stay alive to right some wrongs in this world when it should not even be your job? It's like, if people have more intelligence than the dorm room furniture, you and I would not be spinning our wheels just trying to make things so that we can have room to breathe. |
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