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Skotch
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 12, 2006
Posts: 20
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 Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:12 pm Post subject: NT girl needing AS advice... |
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ok, ive had a thing for my AS friend for a long time. i haven't seen him in a long time but we've kept in touch. well, i just made plans for us to get together this week. what do most AS guys look for in NT girls?
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Kilroy
Establishment knows whats best
Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 10471
Location: Driving the Last Spike
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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well alot of aspies dislike NT's because they can't understand us
understanding of AS is key!!!!!!!!!
you ned to because he'll do some stuff you won't at all get
understand is key
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Alicorn
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 02, 2006
Posts: 237
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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Try being as open and honest as possable.
I know most normal people think flirting is fun, but it can be confusing sometimes. For me personaly sometimes I can't tell if a girl is flirting with me because she likes me, flriting with me becuase she's bored or if she's just making fun of me.
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Skotch
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 12, 2006
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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thanks for the advice guys
how can i tell if he likes me?
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0_equals_true
Quack!
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 5079
Location: London
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Skotch wrote: | thanks for the advice guys
how can i tell if he likes me? |
It is probably more a problem the other way round. You need to be obvious with him because he may not be able to pick up clues. A girl cooked me dinner I didn’t even know it was a date. We do sometimes have trouble expressing our emotions. We can get nervous, love shy but so do other people. Be prepared to ask him out yourself.
I would find out some more about him. Try to get to know more slowly, rather than rushing in. He may not have any barriers. If he is touchy feely you could probably rule out having problems being touched. |
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Neuromancer
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 11, 2007
Posts: 1008
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Be yourself, and more than all, let he be himself! Perhaps he won't tell you if he likes you, but, if he says so, very probablly he really likes you. |
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computerlove
...I feel nostalgia for things i've never known...
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 3763
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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Make something that isn't be very direct. I knew this girl, we where talking outside her house, and the talk switched to the stars, she asked me where was one constellation; I was pointing it, and she said "I can't see it", so she came by my side, I pointed "there", she was closer, I took her hand to show her, and well, that was the beginning of our relationship 
With another girl it was very different, a mutual guy we knew had to actually tell me "Hey, she likes you!". I think later she told me that she had to tell this guy so I could make a move 
So there you go, two not very direct was to approach a guy 
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MrMark
Abstract Data Type
Joined: Jul 04, 2006
Age: 50
Posts: 9867
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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I think the #1 problem aspies have is that they often don't understand and they are often misunderstood. Personally, most of my problems arise from misunderstandings. People just find me hard to believe. Typically, I think, aspies are very honest and very sincere. We prefer direct communication that is straight to the point. Typically, I think, we are not uncomfortable with open discussion of topics that NTs would prefer to address indirectly.
How do you know if he likes you? Ask him. It's not only the best way; it could be the only way. Be prepared for a brutally honest response.
Also, I advise all women in a relationship with an aspie or considering one to look into Cassandra Syndrome. An aspie's lover needs more emotional self-sufficiency. Know what you're getting into.
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Alicorn
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 02, 2006
Posts: 237
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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Move your face in real close to his, with your arms around his neck and say: "well my lips can't kiss themselves."
LOL
ok maybe don't do that... but since it's so hard for someone with AS to tell sometimes maybe you should do some touching. I don't mean erotic touching. I mean, pat his hand or his kee. If you're sitting next to him have your knee touch his. Start low, or he may get freaked. |
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computerlove
...I feel nostalgia for things i've never known...
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 3763
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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Izaac, double post? 
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computerlove
...I feel nostalgia for things i've never known...
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 3763
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| MrMark wrote: | | Also, I advise all women in a relationship with an aspie or considering one to look into Cassandra Syndrome. An aspie's lover needs more emotional self-sufficiency. Know what you're getting into. |
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One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
"Anyone can do it" Mimi wo sumaseba
"Hottest avatar on WP." Comet
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:02 pm Post subject: |
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| MrMark wrote: | | An aspie's lover needs more emotional self-sufficiency. Know what you're getting into. |
I'm not sure that this is always the case.
Most of my relationships have been almost
textbook cases of co-dependency. |
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Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Joined: Apr 02, 2007
Posts: 2148
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:20 am Post subject: |
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I've certainly learned emotional self-sufficiency! I've been married to my AS husband for 12 years.
Once you're in the relationship, it's important that you always ask for what you want, because your boyfriend will not be able to read your body language and facial expressions.
I wouldn't swap my AS husband for any other man in the world!
Helen
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
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Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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being probably AS and having dating probably NT guys...
my big thing is i would ask for them to LEAVE ME ALONE if something's wrong... i do better at just stewing and fixing it later, after all my irrational urges have subsided. i think that's part of the emotional self-sufficiency selma might be referring to. i just dont like confrontations and while i've always gotten the impression this doesnt mesh well with the immediate situation demands... it's what i need. i've found they think by doing this that i'm holding something against them, when i dont want to deal with it asap... but it's not true.
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pbcoll
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 15, 2007
Posts: 1818
Location: England
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Skotch wrote: | thanks for the advice guys
how can i tell if he likes me? |
probably the only thing that would clearly signal he doesn't is if he reacts with indifference to your presence - avoidance would not necessarily indicate dislike. The best way is probably to ask him straight up. Generally, I think it's good to be clear, honest and direct in these situations.
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