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samtoo
Cool Spot is the beez kneez yo'
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1890
Location: England... urrg...
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 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:48 am Post subject: Feeling pretty rotten after that... but it had to be done |
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I've pretty much just deleted my ex from my life. It's now history - gone forever. So long as I had things to look at with her face on it and speaking to her I was always being overwhelmed. For many months I've felt troubled because of thoughts of my ex. She now has a boyfriend, so that's it - I can't take it anymore.  I had to put her out of my life.
I'm going for someone else anyhow... which is good - I like her.
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Cool Spot is cooooooooooooooooooool |
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 2567
Location: Wisonsin
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:50 am Post subject: |
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If it's truly over, it's best not to dwell. It'll probably drive you crazy.
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I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:57 am Post subject: |
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My wife did this to me.
Probably big differences,
but I haven't even received
communications of any kind
in 2 years. Not sure if she's
alive or dead.
I don't think cutting people off
is good. |
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samtoo
Cool Spot is the beez kneez yo'
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1890
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:59 am Post subject: |
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| calandale wrote: | My wife did this to me.
Probably big differences,
but I haven't even received
communications of any kind
in 2 years. Not sure if she's
alive or dead.
I don't think cutting people off
is good. |
Well I sent her a 'goodbye for life' email...
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Cool Spot is cooooooooooooooooooool |
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phenomenon
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 323
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:11 am Post subject: |
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No offense but that's kind of a shitty way to do it. My dad sent me a "goodbye for life" through e-mail and it's bad enough that he did it, but that he wrote oh say a quick e-mail before heading off to the store, say, instead of having the decency to call or meet me felt pretty shitty. (Although I'm glad I didn't have to talk to him because I hate him, but still.) It's an effective F-U, because, even though I know you don't want to hear it anyway, they don't get to say Word One, so it's like you're holding one hand over their mouth while the other hand is flipping them off.
| samtoo wrote: | | calandale wrote: | My wife did this to me.
Probably big differences,
but I haven't even received
communications of any kind
in 2 years. Not sure if she's
alive or dead.
I don't think cutting people off
is good. |
Well I sent her a 'goodbye for life' email... |
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Mr_Winston
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 489
Location: Bath (Uni) Cambridge (Home), UK.
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:12 am Post subject: |
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In my experience if you don't cut off from an ex then they will continue to haunt your thoughts until such a time as you find someone new - and that's difficult when you're constantly daydreaming about the past.
You've done the right thing in my eyes.
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Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on. |
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 2567
Location: Wisonsin
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:21 am Post subject: |
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| phenomenon wrote: | | No offense but that's kind of a shitty way to do it. My dad sent me a "goodbye for life" through e-mail and it's bad enough that he did it, but that he wrote oh say a quick e-mail before heading off to the store, say, instead of having the decency to call or meet me felt pretty shitty. (Although I'm glad I didn't have to talk to him because I hate him, but still.) It's an effective F-U, because, even though I know you don't want to hear it anyway, they don't get to say Word One, so it's like you're holding one hand over their mouth while the other hand is flipping them off. |
That's unpleasant about what your dad did... my dad did something similar, although it was more "formal." But I think it's okay to completely break off a relationship if it isn't working out... if all it's doing is eating away at you. Unless, of course, you are married...then that's very bad.
A father is to be there for his children...
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I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
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voss749
Raven
Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 116
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:23 am Post subject: |
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| I think its one thing to do that to a girlfriend or boyfriend you dont really need to see again, I think its terrible to do that to a family member unless that person is an abuser. |
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Pikachu
CB operator, Callsign 26-TM-082
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Joined: Mar 25, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1513
Location: On top of a hill next to a golf course (0 golf balls have broken the back windows on the house)
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:23 am Post subject: |
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I cannot cut my ex out of my life that easily unless I were to move to a different area as my ex lives in the same town I work in and running into her is usually high, she still gives me hell even now
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26, Aspie, living in North Yorkshire, UK, home to his 2 computers and server, coolblue, lappy, and xana 
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samtoo
Cool Spot is the beez kneez yo'
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1890
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:25 am Post subject: |
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Mind, she's been my ex since April and it was her who left me.
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Cool Spot is cooooooooooooooooooool |
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calandale
Stellar's Jay
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 15131
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:26 am Post subject: |
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It's a matter of seriousness.
If they were so unimportant
that you don't want to deal with
them at all - and can do so, then
why bother saying?
On the other hand, if this was something
important, with real feelings, as I presumed,
then I find the whole idea repulsive. Not
e-mailing them any longer isn't going to
drive them from your thoughts.
I'd keep whatever contact is expected.
i.e., if you frequent the same locations,
still be polite. If you have mutual friends,
don't force them to choose. Things like this.
The e-mail send off strikes me as just drama. |
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samtoo
Cool Spot is the beez kneez yo'
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1890
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:29 am Post subject: |
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| calandale wrote: | It's a matter of seriousness.
If they were so unimportant
that you don't want to deal with
them at all - and can do so, then
why bother saying?
On the other hand, if this was something
important, with real feelings, as I presumed,
then I find the whole idea repulsive. Not
e-mailing them any longer isn't going to
drive them from your thoughts.
I'd keep whatever contact is expected.
i.e., if you frequent the same locations,
still be polite. If you have mutual friends,
don't force them to choose. Things like this.
The e-mail send off strikes me as just drama. |
Well I don't bump into her - she lives about a half an hour drive from me. That may also have broken a mutual friendship... I'm sure she'll be fine anyways... I'm worried about me... as self-centred as that may sound... she's ok she's got someone. I'm sure it won't hurt her if I leave her to her life without any more contact... but that's what I 'think', I could be wrong...
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Cool Spot is cooooooooooooooooooool |
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girl7000
Majestic Eagle Owl
Joined: Mar 11, 2007
Posts: 1263
Location: Somewhere in the Atlantic
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Mr_Winston wrote: | In my experience if you don't cut off from an ex then they will continue to haunt your thoughts until such a time as you find someone new - and that's difficult when you're constantly daydreaming about the past.
You've done the right thing in my eyes. |
Yeah, I see your point. |
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gwenevyn
asdf forever
Joined: May 07, 2007
Posts: 6179
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I think it sounds like you did the right thing for your situation. So many guys try to hang on to that sort of post-relationship "friendship" when it's not what's best for those involved, and thereby end up making both parties miserable. I'd say it works only very rarely to stay friends with an ex, though it usually isn't necessary to cut them out entirely, unless they're dangerous or you're still too smitten to cope. But sometimes it just isn't a good idea to remain in contact at all, if you feel you either one of you can't handle it in a healthy way. |
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samtoo
Cool Spot is the beez kneez yo'
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1890
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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She got the email now.
I'm crying lol...
She will be missed.
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Cool Spot is cooooooooooooooooooool |
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