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Tahitiii
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 279
Location: NJ, USA
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 Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: I’m backward. Not slow. I'm coming from the other side. |
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Continuing from the thread, "Does anyone have social anxiety disorder?"
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt71671.html
| blossoms wrote: | | ...What makes me doubt I have social anxiety is that it is compounded with a poor social compass, I find human interactions perplexing. Added to that my brain has always been wired around interests, almost a zeal for it, interests come before friending or making friends. Often making a friend would come secondary to sharing an interest, almost hunting friends with common interests. Also my emotions are decentered, I find it difficult to handle emotions or speak in an emotional way with people (it works both ways), even with close relatives. I avoid it altogether or put it at the back of the mind, which is wrong and can lead to a negave spiral... |
This seems related to my feeling that I’m backward.
Most people, when they meet someone new, ask the questions in this order:
Do you like me? Do I like you? Do you respect me? Do I respect you?
When I meet someone new, my questions are the exact opposite.
Do I respect you? Do you respect me? Do I like you? Do you like me?
Does this make sense to anyone? |
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Stern
Butterfly
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 12
Location: under the chair
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Sir_Beefy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 62
Location: Middle of Nowhere
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| Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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I do it that way as well, although I'm not sure how backward that really is.
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Clones are people two |
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Fuzzy
Ack! Thbbbt!
Joined: Mar 31, 2006
Posts: 1708
Location: Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 1:59 am Post subject: |
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I dont pay it much mind. Later I remember that I am supposed to give them a reason to like me.
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davidred writes...
I installed Ubuntu once and it completely destroyed my paying relationship with Microsoft. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 2455
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:10 am Post subject: |
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| I'm not sure what I think, it's either naive friendliness or suppressed terror. |
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Tahitiii
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 279
Location: NJ, USA
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| Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 11:13 am Post subject: |
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This might be what Temple Grandin (author) is talking about when she says she "thinks like an animal." I'm sure that most people read that and think she means "more primitive." To me, that was a total turn-off. At first, all I saw was a simple Uncle Tom, groveling and tap-dancing for the amusement of the audience. But now I don't think that's what she meant at all.
For me, it's like a diver meeting a cuttlefish. (Probably the most intelligent non-mammal on the planet.) There is a definite curiosity when they look at each other. Two intelligent species meet and ask, "what are you?"
If I could be an anthropologist at 1000 leagues under the sea, I can almost imagine getting past the "what are you" questions and eventually moving on to the "do you like me" questions. We might not hang out and play video games, but maybe they have a social equivalent. Too bad I can't change colors.
I told the story of a co-worker, Janet, in "The 'Science' of Body Language."
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt74750.html
The boss in that situation was fascinating. He had a military background and superficial attitude (usually an instant turn-off) but there was more to him underneath it all. An intelligence and a compassion. He was practical. He ran a tight ship, but somehow it was liberating rather than oppressive. I kept asking myself, "why is this working?" I was in full, "what are you" mode the whole time I was there. I liked him, even though I never really finished the "what are you" phase. |
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Tahitiii
Toucan
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 279
Location: NJ, USA
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