Kitsy
Supporting Member
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1015
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 Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 6:58 pm Post subject: Getting annoyed listening to NT's conversations |
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Sometimes I'll go to a place alone like restaurants. I'll usually sit and focus on the patterns of the chair or zone off but sometimes I'll overhear conversations and I find them annoying.
For example I hear someone telling their friend they are fat or a blimp and then I think that's mean and then the friend will retort with talking about very thin girls being bulemic which I am very thin naturally and then I get annoyed some more and it's non stop chattering.
Then someone will mention about how they feel sorry for people who sit at restaurants alone or go places alone and then I get annoyed and think, I feel sorry for you because you have to have someone with you to eat or watch movies.
I usually don't feel uncomfortable being alone in social enviroments until I take the time to look around and notice people staring or notice that the restaurant has suddenly become packed.
I'm starting to analyze the differences with how situations are handled between NT's and others and now I'm starting to gather that I don't feel that I or anyone who doesn't behave like a social jackass should be pitied or treated as strange.
If being normal revolves around constant small talk or putting down others, I think I'd rather be considered strange. |
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Adrie
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 464
Location: California/England
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes, Kitsy, I agree. I think that people who are independent and know how to make themselves happy and don't worry about other people's judgment are considered to be "mature," and in this sense, I think Aspies are very "mature." |
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Brian003
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Posts: 401
Location: University of Michigan Ann Arbor
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:26 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with the above statement.
Only thing I would argue about is that all types of people put others down, doesn't really matter if they are NT or AS.
You can't really single out NT's because not all Neurotypicals behave like that. I would say its about 50-50, you just need to know who to hang around with.
I hate people who have to say things behind my back because they are afraid to say them at my face or in person. |
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Kitsy
Supporting Member
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1015
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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Good points Brian. Next time I'll just make it a more vague description because it isn't really a NT trait considering anyone can act that way.
These two examples were Neurotypical types. |
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MysteryFan3
Ex-COBOL dinosaur. roar.
Joined: Jun 09, 2007
Age: 56
Posts: 1358
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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We're different in that we don't have the same emotional needs or reactions as NTs. They'll talk a lot about something that makes them uncomfortable as a form of whistling in the dark. Those people probably thought you were as unhappy being alone as they would have been, so they were extending sympathy. Irritating for sure. Kinda funny, too if you consider that they did the opposite of what they were trying to do.
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AnnabelLee
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 23, 2007
Posts: 173
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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I have noticed their conversations tend to be very shallow and not be on anything worth discussing, in general (always exceptions of course). I want to delve into topics and emotions. However, they don't seem to want to. Why?
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Brittany2907
Neopets Addict
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4920
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:40 pm Post subject: Re: Getting annoyed listening to NT's conversations |
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| Kitsy wrote: | Sometimes I'll go to a place alone like restaurants. I'll usually sit and focus on the patterns of the chair or zone off but sometimes I'll overhear conversations and I find them annoying.
For example I hear someone telling their friend they are fat or a blimp and then I think that's mean and then the friend will retort with talking about very thin girls being bulemic which I am very thin naturally and then I get annoyed some more and it's non stop chattering.
Then someone will mention about how they feel sorry for people who sit at restaurants alone or go places alone and then I get annoyed and think, I feel sorry for you because you have to have someone with you to eat or watch movies.
I usually don't feel uncomfortable being alone in social enviroments until I take the time to look around and notice people staring or notice that the restaurant has suddenly become packed.
I'm starting to analyze the differences with how situations are handled between NT's and others and now I'm starting to gather that I don't feel that I or anyone who doesn't behave like a social jackass should be pitied or treated as strange.
If being normal revolves around constant small talk or putting down others, I think I'd rather be considered strange. |
Yes I agree...
I would rather be considered strange than have to have social contact consistantly throughout my life time.
I think that people who have to go to the movies with someone or can not eat alone must have some serious attachment issues 
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serenity
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Age: 34
Posts: 1464
Location: Invisibly here
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| Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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I absolutely hate when people talk about me when I'm right there as if I can't hear them. That has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves! What those girls did was just rude, and there's no excuse for it.
I'm not sure that it's just NTs that don't like eating out alone. I have to say that I don't care for it myself. I much prefer to dine with someone,even if I only mutter maybe 5 words the whole time. lol |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87185
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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CeriseLy
Toucan
Joined: Oct 01, 2007
Posts: 252
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 12:45 am Post subject: |
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| I like eating alone and going to movies alone. I used to do that and I always had a good time. I find that the other person gets more out of dining together than I do. But if you meet someone who clicks and is your pal, then dining with another person is a total pleasure. I think that it is better to be picky about who one eats with instead of trying to be polite. I'm passed faking it. |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 6395
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:07 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I get this.
Overhearing almost any conversations of strangers or acquaintances will get me saying internally " what rubbish,.. that's not true,... not true,.. rubbish,... false....". I have to tune it out or I get more and more worked up. I DO tune it out. Or leave that space. Stay home!!!  
But it's as if the conversation is coming up against a data sorting machine in me that overloads at so much junk/false info being passed.
I often simply can't believe how people can apparently respectfully exchange so much garbage!!!   
I notice when I do it.Saying ANYTHING which will "stroke" , be agreeable. It feels immediately fake, ingratiating, and IS in fact always to do with wanting to please, get all creepy. Yuck. So does that mean that that is what other people are doing all the time?????,!!!Presumably without thinking they're doing anything awful?
Or do people see speech as unimportant so long as say right thing? Ritual doffing of caps?
Either way listening to people doing this is difficult. |
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Noa
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 25, 2007
Posts: 66
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| MysteryFan3 wrote: | | We're different in that we don't have the same emotional needs or reactions as NTs. They'll talk a lot about something that makes them uncomfortable as a form of whistling in the dark. Those people probably thought you were as unhappy being alone as they would have been, so they were extending sympathy. Irritating for sure. Kinda funny, too if you consider that they did the opposite of what they were trying to do. |
Possibly too much of a generalization? Many autistic people's basic emotional needs aren't so very different from neurotypical, aside from perhaps having some lower drives. More important is that we respond to our environment in different ways, so we often have difficulty getting our needs met. |
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Stupidcat
Raven
Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 120
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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| I LOVE going to eat and going to the movies alone. I also LOVE to go shopping by myself when I go shopping. I don't like when people get in the way of what I'm trying to do or take to long to do something. I also don't spend allot of time with my peer group because I feel their converstational topics are shallow and lack substance. One of my favorite people to talk to right now is an old Brisith professor who has the office next to the one I work in. I'll go over to have tea with him and he'll tell me about what England was like during WWII. We also enjoy discussing poetry and gardening over lunch. I like trying to copy his accent and he enjoys laughing at my bad accent. |
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Goche21
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 471
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll sometimes tease my friends, but in a way that I'm sure anyone understands I'm not serious, same when I put myself down ((kinda, a little more serious when it's about me)). It does annoy me when I hear someone honestly putting a friend down. Mostly what gets on my nereves are conversations about other people, when they laugh at someone and don't even have the guts to say it to the persons face. |
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username88
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Posts: 1820
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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What I hate about it is that they are always talking about how successful their social status is and toss it around like its nothing, when its a very big thing for me and is also something Im incapable of having.. Which naturally makes me uncomfortably envious.
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