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I hope that this isn't too controversial...?
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LabPet
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 1742
Location: Alaska

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unsure how to answer. I DO care! That being said, I may not care in the same way, or for the same motives as a NT women - unknown. For me (just speaking objectively, not making value judgments), I am considered very pretty. This is, I guess, part of my identity. So I am conscientious - I like being pretty. I fully realize many Aspie/HFA women are somewhat asexual &/or homosexual - this is just fine, sexuality is a continuum. For me, I am very feminine, since always. This is by nature though, not convention. I am very heterosexual.

The weird part is that I think like a man (except the sexuality part). I am analytical, mechanically inclinded, and just prefer men. I found many women very confusing. Actually, I find NTs confusing but women especially so! I do not know if this answer your question, but I do wear make-up and I prefer dresses/skirts. This is probably just a form of expression and I don't feel, for me, this is disingenuous since it feels 'right' for me.

I appreciate other women who are feel fine with leaving their appearance to more random factors, but I do care. Maybe I am vain. Throughout the day, when I'm working, busy, etc. I'm not focusing on what I look like and I am sometimes taken aback when someone says, "you look really nice." I do not know how to take comments. I just look like how I look.

Of course, I know there are different ideals for beauty (cultural, etc.). I truly think I look like an Aspie/HFA women. Sort of a Wednesday Addams look, except I'm blonde (dark blonde). I've seen some of the women on this forum that I think are really pretty. I like diversity in looks and I admire those who have the confidence to dress differently or not be so conscientious. I tend to be perfectionist in general terms too.
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Kitsy
Supporting Member
Supporting Member


Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1015

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 7:23 am    Post subject: Re: I hope that this isn't too controversial...? Reply with quote

Stimshieme wrote:
Can I just ask the women Aspies a tiny little question...?

You know how the NT girls are always trying to be popular and sacrifice their own things to fit in? Well do Aspie girls like to keep their figure like NT girls do? I mean social pressure must be hard for you more so than male Aspies, right? (Or so I've read on Wikipedia)

I'm a male by the way...sorry for this if it offends you but it is my first time on the site...


Hello and welcome to wrong planet. I have never been interested in being popular. I have a fast metabolism so thin. Also pale and I like to wear makeup but I can't do the fake eyelashes. I tried once just to see what it would be like and first, I couldn't even put them on right. Second my eyelashes are already long so why bother.

I dont have a huge wardrobe. I like to cut my own hair and dye it although the chemicals suck. Sometimes a mixture of different colors with black or just black. The funny thing is though, I was born blonde. So even though some people have this strong blonde fetish, they are surrounded by fake blondes and I'm the only one born blonde in the mix just with black hair.

I can't do eyeliner well. It comes out okay but I prefer pencil eyeliner to liquid because if you mess up liquid it sucks really bad.

I don't wear makeup everyday though

Styling hair is not my thing either. No mousse, no hairspray.

I make an attempt to dress up for special occasions but if it takes longer than 30 minutes, I get bored and finish up as quickly as possible. I have however worn the wrong type of clothing for some occasions like dressing overly casual or overly formal for a smaller event.

May I ask why are you fed up with NT women if you are?

Everyone has their quirks and interests. Tell more about you. I'm interested in such things.
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Stimshieme
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 174

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well my story is long and sad. I tried asking a girl I really liked to be friends with me (out of the blue) I can set up a link that you could read about my sotry and possibly reply to (if you want to the more the merrier)...

Hold on then...
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Stimshieme
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl


Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 174

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt48613.html

Please follow the link...

I can't type my story here - its too long...
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Aridarr
the Homicidal Maniac


Joined: Oct 01, 2005
Age: 20
Posts: 1293
Location: Over the stars...?

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't wear makeup... I'm told I don't need it and I hate having grease on my face. I wear clothes that I like. I don't follow any set fashion.

I once starved myself to an emaciated state but that had nothing to do with wanting to be beautiful.
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skrimpy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse


Joined: Nov 07, 2007
Posts: 32

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thankfully my man (an aspie) is glad I'm an aspie. He fell in love with me for the way I think and because I talked to him, liked him, and wanted to be around him. He fell in love with who I am and not what I look like. That's the kind of man I want.

I don't try to please with my looks, though I do think I'm pretty enough. I take great care with what I eat but it's because I care about nutrition. I eat a fat rich diet because I believe it's best (google the Weston A. Price Foundation if you want to know more about it) for my health - not because I want to diet to be beautiful for some man. I weigh in around 125. My hair goes down below my waist. I almost always wear it in a braid because I don't care to mess with it, but I love it long.

I wear no makeup. No boy wears makeup to look cute and I don't need to wear it to look "cute." Forget that. I respect some women want to but it ain't for me.

I'm being snippy here because it sounds like you think that because Aspie women may not obsess over their looks like your NT crush does...that you're getting something second rate. I personally (I'm biased) think you're getting a better deal with an Aspie woman becuase she's not totally stuck on what all the other girls look like and what attracts the popular boys.

If that's not how you feel please forgive my snippy mood. But I would personally take an intelligent Aspie anyday over some NT stud of a man that didn't give me the time of day!
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Pandora
Cat Lady


Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aridarr wrote:
I don't wear makeup... I'm told I don't need it and I hate having grease on my face. I wear clothes that I like. I don't follow any set fashion.

I once starved myself to an emaciated state but that had nothing to do with wanting to be beautiful.
Me too. I starved because of being depressed and homesick. Now I am a bit chubby but going on diets is not something I wish to be bothered with.

I don't like the feel of most make-up but if going out in the sun for a long time (which I normally avoid like the plague), I would slather on sunscreen.
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Apollyon
Toucan
Toucan


Joined: Nov 10, 2007
Posts: 299

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I only gave it much thought in school. Then I realized it was pointless.

Never even thought about weight. I have an ultra fast metabolism as well, but honestly, even if I was overweight I seriously doubt I would care. It doesn't matter.

I do wear makeup, but It's more of an artistic thing, in some weird way.
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Adrie
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 464
Location: California/England

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like others have said, I have a fast metabolism so I don't have to worry about weight issues much...

I wear makeup to cover up imperfections, but that's basically it. I don't wear as much as most of my friends, and I'm not nearly as fashionable as most of my friends. But I do want to look good to MYSELF to feel confident; I'm not a "slob."

However, it's true that when friends complain about gaining 5 pounds or something minor like that, I just don't know what to say. I don't care! I want to be supportive, but I don't care about that kind of thing and I don't have anything to say to relate to them, because even if I do gain 5 pounds, why would I complain about that?
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talitha_kumi
Blue Jay
Blue Jay


Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 82
Location: Cambridge, UK

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I starve myself partly to try be thin, and partly as self-punishment. But I also flip out and binge when I get too depressed. So my actual weight stays fairly constant. Which irritates me a lot.
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ghostgurl
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 07, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 1557
Location: Orange County, CA

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, I don't care much about my appearance or "fitting in" for that matter. If I wanted to do anything for my appearance it would be for me and not anybody else. As a side note, I'm pretty healthy anyway.
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kyethra
Raven
Raven


Joined: Dec 16, 2006
Posts: 122

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes and No...

Lately, like in the past year, I have given a lot of thought to the subject the body and appearance and so forth.

Part of it is weight. I was morbidly obese. Now weight and awareness of weight is an odd thing, especially for young females. I say this because it is true-- we live in a very strange society regarding body image. If one were to ask teenager girls what they thought they should weigh, I imagine most girls would want to lose weight, and they would also notice a bunch of other things horibly wrong with their bodies. I was also like this as a teenager. I was overweight as a teen-- chubby, I would say, looking back at pictures and I could have lost 20-30 pounds. Naturally I thought I was hideously obese (I wasn't) and had to lose about 60 pounds. Of course that was never going to happen, and if it had happened I would have looked skeletal. I thought I should weigh 120 pounds you see, I thought that that was a perfectly reasonable healthy weight. I was delusional. I also thought I was one of the fattest girls in my school, etc. Again, looking at an old yearbook this was not the case. Why in my band picture I can find girls my size or larger in the very same row. This is a common sort of delusion teens share-- that one is larger than one is and one will never look "right". We feel self conscious because we don't look airbrushed, etc.

Then I started to gain weight. One day I learned I was moribly obese. I was shocked. This had been after a long illness, etc. My body shape had changed... but still. Weight and frame and size and shape and "normal" aren't things talked about nearly enough, early enough. And then I couldn't lose weight and it was just this uphill struggle. I decided to have bariatric surgery mostly for health reasons-- blood pressure, concern about future health problems, etc. So far I have lost half of what I want to lose. I'm down from 22/24 in jeans to an 18. And I do care... I care about flabby skin and sagging stuff. I care about getting to that right spot for me. I care about looking good and working hard to get there. I care about how people may or may not judge me by my body, even though I dislike that this is a factor in general.

At the same time I don't think I am always as aware of my body in the same way NT women are. When I look in the mirror I don't necessarily see myself as I really look-- its difficult to explain. I'm a poor judge of relative size. It used to be I could look at two women, one 100 pounds heavier than myself, the other 60 pounds lighter and honestly have no idea which one I resembled closer. I still don't know, not really...

I like my hair to look nice so I spent time learning some basics, or trying to. its very difficult. I also learned how to do basic makeup. Also difficult. Clothing is quite beyond me right now except I know there are certain colors I shouldn't wear with my coloring (most colors really). Someday I hope to learn this stuff. Sometimes I have to remind myself to care, as strange as that may sound. I feel like I am constantly relearning my body and my physical world, and it gets tiring. I forget to care about toenails and eyebrows sometimes. Then I remember and I try to remember it all, but I can't always consistently do that, not yet.
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Grim
Velociraptor
Velociraptor


Joined: Oct 30, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 469
Location: Brighton, East Sussex

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel a lot of pressure to have a good figure. I want to be pretty, and as you can only change your face a little without having plastic surgery, the only way i can try and make my body look good is to make sure I stay slim.
I am a size uk 10 and cannot stay down to 8 and this really upsets me sometimes.
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)


Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20855
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't really care about my figure. I'm Sid. :O)
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i_Am_andaJoy
the dischord in the thrum...


Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1172
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i don't wear makeup everyday. i don't like how it feels. i like my face to feel clean. and i hate long hair because of how it feels when it is wet and touching my back in the shower... i like how i look when i wear makeup, but i just do it sometimes because it feels more like a dress-up thing. and i have a red streak in my hair right now, and i have had blond, black, blue, green, pink, and red hair.
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