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jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
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 Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:24 am Post subject: Are You a :::CONTROL::: Freak? |
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Are you obsessed with controlling your environment, other people, yourself? Are you restrictive, demanding and accusing just so your life can be *just so*? Have people told you to *ease up* on them? Are you argumentative to a fault?
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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
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alei
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 09, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 320
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:35 am Post subject: |
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I am extremely controlling of both myself and my environment. I have however learned through the years that trying to control other people is a recipe for disaster. I can do it, but I wind up with no respect for them and things just go downhill from there.
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Between sunset and certified darkness
My artistic side: aleigirl.deviantart.com
My ramblings and insights on being an adult with Asperger's: http://alei-cat.blogspot.com/
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Kurt
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 29, 2007
Posts: 42
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:49 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I'm an extreme control freak.
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"Oh, no tears please. Such a waste of good suffering."
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jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:07 am Post subject: |
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I am also a control freak. This is what living in the world has made me - in needing to control the air I breathe, the food I eat and the kind of water I drink. The type of medical care I will accept, the kind of behavior I will tolerate and the amount of infiltration of my boundaries I will allow. Being too transparent has made me this way. Too kind has made me too restricting. Being too naive has made me want to kick ass to keep people in check, lest they enter Forbidden Territory. Of course this makes intimacy impossible. But that's the price - and I'm willing to pay it to stay alive.
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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
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alei
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 09, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 320
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:20 am Post subject: |
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| jjstar wrote: | | Of course this makes intimacy impossible. But that's the price - and I'm willing to pay it to stay alive. |
Actually I used to think this too. Turns out that with the right person there is no price to pay. Turns out there are people out there who dont need any control at all over thier environment, and are therefore happy to let people like us go at it. I live with my boyfriend and my daughter and I have a million unwritten rules about the way things have to be done. I have running inventories of everything in the apartment so they ask before they take or use anything so that my accounts balance. To be honest, both of them are so easy going that they probably dont even see how controlling I really am. They know I'm not trying to control them, just my environment.
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Between sunset and certified darkness
My artistic side: aleigirl.deviantart.com
My ramblings and insights on being an adult with Asperger's: http://alei-cat.blogspot.com/
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fangfarrier
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 06, 2007
Age: 41
Posts: 208
Location: A small Island off the North Coast of Scotland.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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Definately and it shows in lots of little ways.
Such as when on holiday I must have the hotel keys. Also feel very uncomfortable if I don't have the money.
Hate even letting the kids have my mobile phone to play with let alone give it to them to use.
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Asperger's is the reason for my behaviour,
Not an excuse.
Me, after much thought on the matter. |
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woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:47 am Post subject: |
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I control everything, not so much out in public, I have learned since childhood ended that controling people does not work (and I controled my friends like you could not beleive, totally had to be incharge and be right all the time). Now I control everything where I live, I am way more relaxed around people, but i absoltutly cannot live with anybody, I must live alone, I tryed the roommate thing and could not do it, so I moved out and got my own place where I control everything, its perfect now and I feel finally I have found a way to control everything and still not come off as a control freak towards people cause I control everything in my life except the people in it, and it works just fine now.
I just wish I coulda told myself not to always have to be the boss as a kid... well... a part of growing up aspie I suppose.
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DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead. |
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duncansbass
Supporting Member
Joined: Nov 26, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 421
Location: Flatting thirds, fifths, and sevenths for over 20 years
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:51 am Post subject: |
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Completely. My environment is my safe zone, and I carry it everywhere.
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Please Don't Tap On The Glass!! |
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serenity
Phoenix
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Joined: Feb 26, 2007
Posts: 731
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:21 am Post subject: |
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| alei wrote: | | jjstar wrote: | | Of course this makes intimacy impossible. But that's the price - and I'm willing to pay it to stay alive. |
Actually I used to think this too. Turns out that with the right person there is no price to pay. Turns out there are people out there who dont need any control at all over thier environment, and are therefore happy to let people like us go at it. I live with my boyfriend and my daughter and I have a million unwritten rules about the way things have to be done. I have running inventories of everything in the apartment so they ask before they take or use anything so that my accounts balance. To be honest, both of them are so easy going that they probably dont even see how controlling I really am. They know I'm not trying to control them, just my environment. |
That's me in a nutshell. I have a very disorganized husband that is more than willing to let me carry on with my obsessiveness.
I also have a mental inventory as to everything that's in my house. Something that I don't share with many; everything that I do has a well thought out logical reason for it. Everything. It takes me more time to think about things then it takes me to actually perform said action.
Now, I'm off to make lists of my lists... 
Last edited by serenity on Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:39 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MrMark
Abstract Data Type
Joined: Jul 04, 2006
Age: 50
Posts: 9816
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:35 am Post subject: |
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My wife's son told me that I like to control my environment. Beyond that, I try very hard to allow others complete freedom to do whatever they want.
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"Walk to the well. Turn as the earth and the moon turn, circling what they love. Whatever circles comes from the center."
- Rumi (Translated by Coleman Barks) |
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busy91
Supporting Member
Joined: Dec 04, 2007
Posts: 395
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:38 am Post subject: |
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I'd say no but my kids would say yes.
I think I am just so with them becuase I can be. |
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jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:02 am Post subject: |
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| alei wrote: |
Actually I used to think this too. Turns out that with the right person there is no price to pay. Turns out there are people out there who dont need any control at all over thier environment, and are therefore happy to let people like us go at it.. |
You lucked out - and this is wonderful. I am happy to hear that a peaceful existance with others is possible. Personally, I haven't actually encountered a person like that for me who can also meet the other 9,999 requirements I've got for them.... 
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Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
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Bopkasen
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 06, 2006
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:05 am Post subject: Re: Are You a :::CONTROL::: Freak? |
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| jjstar wrote: | | Are you obsessed with controlling your environment, other people, yourself? Are you restrictive, demanding and accusing just so your life can be *just so*? Have people told you to *ease up* on them? Are you argumentative to a fault? |
Asperger Syndrome does have an element of OCD.
My control freaking varies between mild and moderate. |
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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3892
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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My last boyfriend said I was because I was very demanding.
My current one tells me I am very demanding but doesn't think I am one.
I don't like it when he leaves his dishes out, doesn't wipe the counter tops or the stove and he tells me he does things that are perfectly than needed but I point all the none perfect stuff out to him like the mess in the kitchen, leaving his coat and shoes out, his clothes.
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TLPG
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Posts: 682
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| Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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I don't see myself as a control freak, but I certainly get antsy when others - either accidentally or deliberately - try to take control of a situation away from me. Especially if it's control over something I need control over. My finances are a good example of this.
I'm very much a niche person. When I have that niche - whoa be tide anyone who interferes with it. I can cope with it most of the time because I can just throw them out (figureatively speaking). For example - my Wiki is a niche. And if someone rocks the boat, I can punish them by throwing them out (banning them).
Special interests are a niche as well - and I take the same attitude except that I can't throw people out, especially when I need them for whatever the reason. That's harder to avoid when they try to throw me out for whatever the reason.
I have a history of people interfering with what I do with my life, including two cases of criminal behaviour (both of which I was lucky enough to deal with successfully in court - in 2003 and 2006). Civil action is harder to do and I don't like going that far unless there is no alternative. But I'll do it if I'm pushed!
I'm very much of the belief that us Aspies have a right to do and say what we feel is right. Especially if doing so represents as close to closure as we're going to get on an issue.
If that makes us control freaks then OK - but I don't agree that it's "freakish". |
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