| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
|
 Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:42 am Post subject: Have You Reached a Place Where You Stopped Playing NICE? |
 |
|
Are you there? Are you a BS hound? Do you have zero patience for fools and idiots? Do you say EXACTLY what's on your mind and make zero apologies about it?
I'm <this> close.
Come on mofos make my day! 
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
|
| Back to top |
|
SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
I used to try to be nice even to people who weren't being nice to me, but gave up. These people were (and still are) harassing and trying their best to provoke me and it's best to ignore.
Now that I'm not stressing over them as much, I've actually got more patience, in fact. Good thing.
_________________
"How about a shave?"
|
|
| Back to top |
|
benjimanbreeg
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 1494
Location: uk, the ancient mariner, transylvania or planet me, oh yeah sometimes at 22 acacia avenue
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:49 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm starting get more like that by the day. When I was at the airport the other day this guy walked past me and my Dad, he was like "guys you're not helping, standing in the middle of the floor" and I just said "be quiet you twat". In the past I probably wouldn't have said anything. |
|
| Back to top |
|
jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well that's alright - but what if they get into your face? Do you let them get away with that? Or do you suckerpunch them upside the head?
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
|
| Back to top |
|
benjimanbreeg
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 1494
Location: uk, the ancient mariner, transylvania or planet me, oh yeah sometimes at 22 acacia avenue
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I used to let people get away with stuff, just worried if someone goes too far i'll snap. I just need to be more assertive. |
|
| Back to top |
|
UncleBeer
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 19, 2004
Posts: 896
Location: temporarily trapped in Holland
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:59 am Post subject: |
|
|
I prefer referring to this as my current state of "curmudgeonliness".  |
|
| Back to top |
|
busy91
Supporting Member
Joined: Dec 04, 2007
Posts: 395
Location: NYC
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
I have my days. The other day my BS meter was at ZERO!
I still play nice. A lot of people around me are very nice, so that makes it easy. |
|
| Back to top |
|
jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
| benjimanbreeg wrote: | | I'm starting get more like that by the day. When I was at the airport the other day this guy walked past me and my Dad, he was like "guys you're not helping, standing in the middle of the floor" and I just said "be quiet you twat". In the past I probably wouldn't have said anything. |
I shouldn't be laughing.
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
|
| Back to top |
|
jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
| benjimanbreeg wrote: | | I used to let people get away with stuff, just worried if someone goes too far i'll snap. I just need to be more assertive. |
Believe me, I've tried assertiveness. It works for about one week.
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
|
| Back to top |
|
jjstar
Observing Visionary
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 1627
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
| UncleBeer wrote: | | I prefer referring to this as my current state of "curmudgeonliness". |
I can't pronounce that. I'll stick with uber-bitch. Easier to remember too.
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly |
|
| Back to top |
|
SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
| jjstar wrote: | | Well that's alright - but what if they get into your face? Do you let them get away with that? Or do you suckerpunch them upside the head? |
What happened?
_________________
"How about a shave?"
|
|
| Back to top |
|
LiendaBalla
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 747
Location: Houston Texas United States
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:32 am Post subject: Re: Have You Reached a Place Where You Stopped Playing NICE? |
|
|
| jjstar wrote: | | Do you say EXACTLY what's on your mind and make zero apologies about it? |
Hey, I do that all the time. Apologies depends on what sort of person I'm dealing with.
I have dealt with a certain sort a few times that still annoys me. It's so hard to ignore them. The kind that think they are always right, and get in a person's face, and then deny that they are trying to be rude to them. Annoys the heck in me.
_________________
Removing objects and material out of our mental perspective leaves only the thought of our souls.
Lienda Balla the EDIT QUEEN! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Unknown_Quantity
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 16, 2007
Posts: 429
Location: Australia
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'm trying to mellow out as I grow old.
I've had problems with authority my whole life, particularly undesevered authority.
I used to really go off the deep end when I was younger. People have sworn that my eyes have literally glowed with rage. 
_________________
IN GIRVM IMVS NOCTE ET CONSVMIMVR IGNI |
|
| Back to top |
|
sinagua
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 29, 2007
Posts: 371
Location: Rhode Island
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
I'll avoid them if at all possible. If that's not possible, and they actually get ugly to me to my face (which fortunately hasn't happened in a looooong time), I do my best to remain at least outwardly calm and let the other person make a complete fool out of themselves - this usually works, as they can often take just enough rope to hang themselves. Especially in public. In fact, it's probably best to confront me like that in public - in private I might not be so restrained. 
I try to remember that when someone is behaving in an over-the-top aggressive way toward me, it's not about me, it's about THEM. And what scares me most about such people is, if they'll do this sort of thing in PUBLIC, imagine what they're like behind closed doors!?
When I see crazy coming, I try to cross the street.
People are frustrating, but in my experience there's very little to be gained by shouting or name-calling back at them. It doesn't teach them anything, doesn't help their behavior, doesn't make them sorry - they're obviously damaged people if they're adults and still acting like that. Blowing up back at them might make me feel better for about a minute, but I'm not proud of myself - I feel like I failed because I couldn't figure out another way to handle it. I guess I'm more Picard than Kirk, in this regard.
In "The Art of War," it says that if you must fight a battle, you have already lost (in a sense) because you were not skillful enough to avoid the battle in the first place. |
|
| Back to top |
|
MomofTom
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2006
Posts: 601
Location: Where normalcy and bad puns collide
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:14 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| sinagua wrote: | I'll avoid them if at all possible. If that's not possible, and they actually get ugly to me to my face (which fortunately hasn't happened in a looooong time), I do my best to remain at least outwardly calm and let the other person make a complete fool out of themselves - this usually works, as they can often take just enough rope to hang themselves. Especially in public. In fact, it's probably best to confront me like that in public - in private I might not be so restrained.
I try to remember that when someone is behaving in an over-the-top aggressive way toward me, it's not about me, it's about THEM. And what scares me most about such people is, if they'll do this sort of thing in PUBLIC, imagine what they're like behind closed doors!?
When I see crazy coming, I try to cross the street.
People are frustrating, but in my experience there's very little to be gained by shouting or name-calling back at them. It doesn't teach them anything, doesn't help their behavior, doesn't make them sorry - they're obviously damaged people if they're adults and still acting like that. Blowing up back at them might make me feel better for about a minute, but I'm not proud of myself - I feel like I failed because I couldn't figure out another way to handle it. I guess I'm more Picard than Kirk, in this regard.
In "The Art of War," it says that if you must fight a battle, you have already lost (in a sense) because you were not skillful enough to avoid the battle in the first place. |
I think this is why it totally sucks to be AS and have codependent relationships. Sometimes, I can't even tell the difference between the dynamics of the two. 
_________________
Apathy is a dominant gene. Mutate. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
