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samtoo
Sam the friendly androgynous Beluga Whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2237
Location: England... urrg...
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 Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:15 pm Post subject: Why so hard for aspie male? |
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Ok, it's tough for aspie female too, but I'm currently a victim of the frequently asked question "Why so hard for the aspie male?" I'm in this unfortunate position again...
I just can't get it man... girls just won't go for me, or acknowledge my existence. Or if they do, they probably wind up thinking I'm too different or something...
I'm stressed man... very stressed.
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dcforeman
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 22, 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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Pfft
Everyone has their problems. Women, Men, Dogs, Cats, and those small flea like creatures you could make a horror film out of with a microscope!
So women don't want to go out with you? Is that so supprising? You're not on their wavelenth dude. You might as well be speaking a different language entirely!
But there are women out there who will like you. But if you've got this crappy "oh whoaw is me, no woman get's me" attitude I don't get how you can like being around yourself let alone expect another human being to enjoy your company.
Get a cat, mellow out, learn to live with yourself, and if it happens it happens. If not, stuff happens, what the hell? |
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samtoo
Sam the friendly androgynous Beluga Whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2237
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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Mate, you've kind of jumped to a conclusion that this is my day to day attitude.
This is not true - recently and currently I'm going through trauma.
imo this is quite offensive what you say to me here.
Awful events have messed me about, and I'm sure as aspies we can understand how things can take a massive toll on us?
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Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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Grimfaire
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 348
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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The biggest problem with aspie men vs. aspie women (in general) is that society believes that it is the male's duty to approach the female. It's this act that we fail at be it, just plain inability to get to the first step or somewhere else along the line.
Women have this a bit easier but far from easy. The hardest thing to understand is that we all have a lot of the same problems in this regard; men, women, aspies, NT. It doesn't really help but at least you know you're not the only one having difficulties.
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dcforeman
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 22, 2007
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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It was intended to be offensive!
With the information you posted, to tried to single out a single group of people as having it harder then anyone else in the world ever! Sorry my paitence with such statements is extremely limited. Had it been a posting about advice for dealing with women, I'd have encouraged you. But the whole "men have it worse" attitude is one that other people pick up, it generates a uniqe force of "hard done by men" posts, rather then anything useful. |
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samtoo
Sam the friendly androgynous Beluga Whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2237
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:39 pm Post subject: |
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Well ok. I'll admit - I can be a touch arrogant. I'm quite a narcissistic kind of guy.
I do say things in a very self obsessed way, but I don't think we have it harder in life I'm just stating my oppinion about the whole dating thing, and no doubt aspie guys have a hard time.
I'm not an aspie girl and maybe I shouldn't have made any comparisons, but aspie guys do have a hell of a hard time in this respect.
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Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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sort30030
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 14, 2007
Posts: 337
Location: NJ
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Being aspie has characteristics that are naturally not attractive to females but less for attracting males. |
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Tim_Tex
Bunnies!!!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 29
Posts: 30835
Location: To Be Determined
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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I have gotten better at making the first move. It's finding someone I would actually be interested in dating that's difficult for me.
Tim
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mj7
Emu Egg
Joined: Dec 24, 2007
Posts: 4
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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I find that women are not on the same wave lenth as us,some of them talk to you like you are a mental retard or a child and can be very patronsing and some are just plain scared.
I was married for years and my ex never understood me and we might as well have been on different planets.
They seem to always want you to be something different than you are to come out of your shell but they cannot understand I am not shy that is just the way I am.
Some of them look at you like you are something on the bottom of their shoe,but I now just accept they do not understand and they are ignorant so maybe one day I will meet someone who will accept me for what I am. |
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Kitsy
Supporting Member
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1015
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know you. It's hard to say.
Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead?
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Grimfaire
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 348
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Kitsy wrote: | I don't know you. It's hard to say.
Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead? |
Oh my yes! 
That would be a dream. It's the hardest part of all. I've never actually met anyone that didn't come up to me first or been introduced through someone else.
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When in trouble or in doubt; run in circles scream and shout. |
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samtoo
Sam the friendly androgynous Beluga Whale
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2237
Location: England... urrg...
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Kitsy wrote: | I don't know you. It's hard to say.
Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead? |
Definately. 
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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared. |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Posts: 5130
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Kitsy wrote: | I don't know you. It's hard to say.
Have a question for you. Would life be easier if women approached you instead? |
It would definitely make romance/sex life much easier , that's why girls can get partners much easier and quicker than guys.
But it wouldn't make the other aspects of life easier. |
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Kitsy
Supporting Member
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Posts: 1015
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Someone told me in Japan for Valentines, the girls hand out valentines to the guys they like.
This is all about social upbringing. I'm glad I ignored half of it.
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Topher
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 26, 2006
Posts: 436
Location: Bristol
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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I've often asked why is it so hard. I've been hurt in the past and it's gooten to the point that although i would love a relationship with a girl. I can't find the courage, the confidence and the willpower to tell a girl I like them or ask them out. Girls won't lift an eyelid to me. I tihnk because im different people are afraid of me. Either that or i'm always put aside for some other guy..... 
I find the concept of the guy having to ask the girl to be very unfair and harsh. I wish it could be equal ground. I hate and despise being single. |
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