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purplesky
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 70
Posts: 58
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 Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject: Is it Unusual for an Aspie to be Charismatic? |
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| I ask this because I have difficulty with informal social situations YET I have an amazing ability to convince others to buy products and have been told that I have great charisma when presenting a project. I have sold many items before and it was not work for me. Why is it so easy for me to be charismatic when it comes to money, public speaking, or grades yet when it comes to informal social situations, I cower in my shell? I am very good at getting others to work with me and convincing people to give me what I desire yet when it comes to informal acquaintance relationships, I tend to isolate myself and am very socially ackward whereas if I am selling a product or idea, it is simple for me and I do it with confidence. |
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Tim_Tex
Bunnies!!!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 29
Posts: 30814
Location: To Be Determined
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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I occasionally have that kind of success.
Welcome to WP!
Tim
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logitechdog
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 970
Location: Uk - Thornaby
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| When you do the product, do you tell them the truth or just use what most sale people do & lie, that will tell you why... & if I am off the ball sorry |
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SeaBright
Chargé d'affaires Attaché
Joined: Aug 16, 2006
Posts: 1400
Location: Halfway back
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know, purple sky.
For instance, other people off the net comment to me that I am charismatic; what they are commenting on is my fear response to environment.
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purplesky
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 70
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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| logitechdog wrote: | | When you do the product, do you tell them the truth or just use what most sale people do & lie, that will tell you why... & if I am off the ball sorry |
I don't lie.... I omit the negative truths and exaggerate the positive truths. lol
Last edited by purplesky on Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:36 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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purplesky
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 70
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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| SeaBright wrote: | I don't know, purple sky.
For instance, other people off the net comment to me that I am charismatic; what they are commenting on is my fear response to environment. |
Perhaps it is quite natural for us to be this way. We are fish out of water or so to speak. |
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gwenevyn
oh, wait. not that!
Joined: May 07, 2007
Posts: 6194
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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When you're selling a product, perhaps you are able to memorize rules that work. Social situations have so many ever-changing variables, it would be impossible to memorize everything you might be expected to do. Also, when you're interacting with a customer, you only need to do so for a short period of time. Relationships require ongoing contact and fewer breaks.
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The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. -Antoine de Saint Exupéry |
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CymbalMonkey
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 04, 2008
Posts: 30
Location: Ashland, Oregon, USA, North America, Northern Hemisphere, Earth, Milky Way
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I can get anything, out of anyone. although normally I'm a douche bag, when I want to be, I can charm like Joseph smith or adolf hitler. |
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criss
Velociraptor
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Age: 44
Posts: 429
Location: London
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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I can relate to you.
I am a teacher of the Alexander Technique and also a spiritual Director. I give talks in front of hundreds of people about my particular interest which is contemplative spirituality. I come across very inspirational (so I have been told) and deeply engaged.
Yet outside of my area of talking and giving workshops I have great difficulties. Mostly in playful situations with my little boy (play fighting etc) and social situations. For even though I can 'pull it off' it's clear I am not a 'natural' by a long shot.
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"We are here on earth for a little space to learn to bear the beams of love." (William Blake)
Thank God for science, but feed me poetry please, as I am one that desires the meal & not the menu. (My own)
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Azharia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 334
Location: Cork, Ireland
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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Nah I think it's quite possible.
For example, I'm apparently really charismatic when talking to people my parents age. Go figure. Makes no sense to me.
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Liverbird
Using my evil powers for good!
Joined: Jun 14, 2007
Posts: 1167
Location: My heart belongs to Anfield
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not so great socially. However, when giving talks on my interests (AS and children with disabilities) I am able to come across as very engaging and likeable. Although, I'm sure I'm not that fantastic in real life.
I love to speak on subjects I know. My mother in law thinks I should become a lawyer and help people with disabilities. She says I have that kind of charisma.
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"All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And you're not welcome here" ---Poe
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grameyer
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 30, 2006
Posts: 26
Location: OK
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Absolutely! I am great superficially. People find me entertaining, intelligent, interesting and quite charismatic. The entertaining part is my unique perspective on things which many people take as humor. (One man's humor is another man's AS). As a professional, I have important information I must impart to others. I have learned through training to make eye-contact. I know what is expected of me, I have extensive knowledge (thanks to a hyper-focus on a topic I find fascinating) and in this limited setting I am very comfortable. Socially-people aways seem to seek me out. The sticky wicket is their pursuit. I withdraw from friendship as it represents obligation to me. And unfortunately I get bored by most NTs inflexibility (very quickly). Could this just be a defense mechanism because I feel so inadequate at the social "game"? I am not sure-may be a good topic for a thread. I guess as long as I can pop in, deliver pertinent info, & pop out- I am okay. But I am very unpredictable. I may feel one way one minute and completely different the next. I am lucky my husband loves this about me. He claims it is exciting b/c he never knows what to expect or what I'll come up with next. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 52
Posts: 4314
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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mmyeah. I think I might be charismatic from the way people react to me. overreact you might say.
There is a theory of 'normal/notnormal' which says that people will try to place you in an 'up there', 'down there' or 'out there' category when you can't be place 'in here with us'. |
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SirLogiC
Blue Jay
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Posts: 79
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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At work I am very comfortable. I learnt humour and can make almost anyone laugh. I'm really good at taking what someone said and using my knowledge of the english language to give a sarcastic and witty comeback, sometimes so good there is no comeback. But I now love doing this and really love it when I get someone so good there is no comeback. However sometimes I can take it too far, though Ive gotten good at learning the limit.
So I guess you must love the sell, you know a lot about the product and enjoy trying to sell it. Thus you must sound energetic and enthusiastic selling a product. You must also be good at picking up when someone is losing interest and grabbing it again.
So do you enjoy the sell? |
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anbuend
Oak-Type Autie
Joined: Jul 06, 2004
Posts: 3320
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| Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, it is possible. People have told me I have charisma in some situations, which is news to me but I think it's something that people can have whether they're autistic or not. I have met autistic people with major charisma but still difficulty in social situations.
I know an autistic person who was a superb salesperson because she could memorize all the products in the store and tell anyone exactly what type of thing they'd need to suit whatever they'd ask for.
Also, as several other people have pointed out, speechmaking is something that some autistic people can be great at, it's not the same as a normal situation socially.
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"We may seem in the gutter from up there where you are but maybe you don't know we still see the same stars." -Donna Williams |
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