OK... what now?

klstoner · Butterfly Joined: Feb 27, 2008 Posts: 12

Greetings everyone -

I'm new here, new to the idea of AS, new to a lot of ideas. I've been tracking down the source(s) of some pretty intense neuro-psychological issues I've been having over the past year, when I was thrust into the primary caregiver role for my partner who had some intense health issues last Feb.

Long story short, she's much better now and experiencing a remarkable recovery, but I've gotten to know my own limits in ways that I never did before -- probably because I've always been with someone who has very highly developed social skills and who has always "run interference" for me in the big wide world.

My partner and I have been together over 17 years, and this is the first that I've been forced to "play point" in our relationship.

Seriously, I'm having real issues -- I've been having issues all along -- and I'm seeing them in full technicolor now. It's sorta kinda freaking me out a little bit. I never noticed all of this before, probably because as a child I was never *allowed* to admit I had issues, and in my adult life, I've had my nose either buried in some tome for research, or I've been engrossed in building web applications in my spare time and at work. Dealing with the real world has never been my forte, but now I can't avoid it anymore, and I'm approaching the end of my rope.

I can trace a lot of my issues back to several head/brain injuries I sustained in childhood, as well as adulthood (the most recent being a fall down stairs that put the kaibosh on a bunch of critical abilities, such as being able to hold down a steady job and sustain working relationships and manage money). But beyond that, even before I was hit in the head with a rock when I was 8, I had a lot of issues at home... and when I read about AS, I fit the bill, 5 times out of 6.

I'm just trying to get my (sadly limited) head around all of this, and I'm looking for where to go next. I've got a therapist, who is a very nice person, but I keep hearing hints about how I'm suffering from PTSD or OCD or some other form of psychological/emotional trauma. I think there's more going on -- neurologically -- but I don't know where exactly to turn for objective input. I've got a neurologist appt in a month about TBI issues... and I'm researching like mad.

But how can I know for certain if I do/don't have AS? And do I have to have some medically justifiable reason to be tested and diagnosed? Insurance needs to pay for this -- I've got a family to support and mouths to feed, and diagnostic testing needs to not take food out of my dependents' mouths...

Anyone have any ideas on where I can look for help? I'm really tired of feeling/looking/sounding like an idiot to people when I try to explore my options.

Thanks much, in advance!
K