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m91
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 174
Location: London, United Kingdom
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 Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: She refers to me as darling... |
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And I'm TOTALLY lost. What the heck should I do?
I've known this girl since I started college in September, and I would say I've been a close friend with her. I've been working so hard to make friends etc since I started in new college, with a clean slate, and I think I'm actually improving my social skills, and perhaps things have gone better than I intended.
She's always been a flirty person towards many guys and me, but she seems to be pushing it a bit with me.
Even as a friend, I know that she trusts me very much as she told me that her mother died and I was one of the first to know, and was talking to me about it. And since her mother has died, she obviously hasn't been as cheerful since then.
She hugs me nearly everyday when she sees me, and just talks in that typical sweet voice. BUT the thing is she hugs lots of other guys a well.
I've suspected for a while that there is some chemistry between us, but I don't have the courage to act on it.
And today she came to me and asked "How are you darling?" and I managed to mumble a few words when she said it. ugh. But at least I know I haven't messed up this time.
This is actually like the third time she's has referred to me this way. But don't get me wrong, she didn't suddenly jump into this. Things have built up gradually.
I don't have a clue how to approach this whole situation, but I think I may be able to take this beyond a friendship for once in my life. I'll be kicking myself so hard if I mess this up.
Just to let you know, I'm 17.
EDIT: Its not just about this, but if I do make a move, and it goes well, I still don't have a clue how I will ever be able to maintain a relationship in the long term IF anything even happens.
EDIT AGAIN: I forgot to mention that it's not just her calling me darling, but around 2 or 3 times now, she has pinched my cheek when she greeted me. Would that imply anything?
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There are 3 types of people: Those who CAN count and those who CAN'T count.
Last edited by m91 on Tue Apr 08, 2008 3:06 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 2738
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I use the word 'dear' and 'darling' to many girls and many girls use them to call me too...It means nothing really, especially if she's of the flirty type. |
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EverythingisBoinga
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:14 pm Post subject: Darling |
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Well, I am a girl. And I have found that when dealing with members of the opposite sex I do tend to throw out endearing terms (having lived in the south it's hard to avoid) but i try to avoid using them to people i particularly don't want to have the wrong impression by it.
honestly---in this age what would it hurt to just grab her and kiss her?
if she does reject you (and i, with an effort like that, would never)
it would be so worth it. |
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Caroline677
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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| If she's flirting with you, and you like her, then go along with it. I don't know if I'd grab her and kiss her-- that could have awkward repercussions if she isn't really interested in you-- but hug her sometime. Ask her out. Do something to indicate that you're interested, and see what happens. If she does like you, and thinks that you might like her, she'll flirt more and it'll become obvious. If she doesn't, and she's a reasonably compassionate person, she'll tone it down once she realizes how you're interpreting it. Either way you should be able to stay friends with her. |
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sinagua
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 29, 2007
Posts: 368
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm from the south and it's fairly common to call someone "dear" or "sweetheart" or "sweetie" or "hon" or "darlin'" without meaning anything romantic - a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant could call you that. It's just a term of general endearment, like how in England they sometimes call each other "love." (As in, "Pass me the sugar, would you, love?") |
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weather1man
Toucan
Joined: Oct 31, 2005
Age: 19
Posts: 295
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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I live in the south too, I've even heard young women call old women darling or hun.
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"But in general, at first shy guys may seem interesting and cute, but it DOES get old really quick. Gets too boring." |
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Veresae
Putrescent And Flummoxed
Joined: Feb 25, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 3134
Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, I have a friend who has called me "darling," and she's been very happily attached to her boi for a year now, I believe. I was weirded out at first too, lol. |
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 649
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Exactly How does one "Darl"? |
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roguetech
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 34
Posts: 340
Location: Climax
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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| I also don't agree with grabbing and kissing... I'd hate to violate someone trust on a hunch. Personally, I'd just go along with it. Flirt back. See how far she's willing to go with flirting. She'll stop when/if she's not comfortable, and then you just made a minor social gaff of flirting one comment too far. |
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LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 2738
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: Re: Darling |
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| EverythingisBoinga wrote: |
honestly---in this age what would it hurt to just grab her and kiss her?
if she does reject you (and i, with an effort like that, would never)
it would be so worth it. |
What kind of stupid delusional advise is this? As if in this age (17 yo) a guy doesn't live in a social environment called school where he would be prone to embarrassment if he does something like this , grabbing and kissing all the sudden without unpleasant reaction from the girl only happen in the movies ...not in the real life. In real life , even if she likes you ...she might be furious by this act...and basing on what he's thinking that she might likes him? on the word 'darling'? |
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Bopkasen
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 06, 2006
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Caroline677 wrote: | | If she's flirting with you, and you like her, then go along with it. I don't know if I'd grab her and kiss her-- that could have awkward repercussions if she isn't really interested in you-- but hug her sometime. Ask her out. Do something to indicate that you're interested, and see what happens. If she does like you, and thinks that you might like her, she'll flirt more and it'll become obvious. If she doesn't, and she's a reasonably compassionate person, she'll tone it down once she realizes how you're interpreting it. Either way you should be able to stay friends with her. |
There more to it than that. You can't grab female because you feel like it.
Beside.... that stunt doesn't work like that in reality compares to romance movies. |
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Caroline677
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I wouldn't advise it in all situations. But a boy (albeit close friend) grabbed me and kissed me and it worked out. I thought, awesome, he cares enough to take a risk and put himself in what could have been a very awkward position. And I admired that, because I wasn't as courageous and wanted to be.
But I'm not all girls, and I wouldn't have reacted that way to any random guy--
still, I wouldn't say that it "only works out in movies." |
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m91
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 174
Location: London, United Kingdom
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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At least I have 2 weeks before going back to college as it's currently my holidays, so I have enough time to think about this.
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There are 3 types of people: Those who CAN count and those who CAN'T count. |
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Jamie06
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 11, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 932
Location: Crawley, West Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| I've been called hun, darling etc alot, soo confusing. If you feel you like her and think she may like you then build up to it slowly. |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2052
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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| MartyMoose wrote: | | Exactly How does one "Darl"? |
No, the appropriate question is "Where exactly is Darl", since "Darling" means a denizen of Darl, like "Earthling" is a denizen of Earth...  |
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