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aurea
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 381
Location: melb,Australia
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 Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: The telephone |
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Do your kids avoid the telephone?
Our phone can be ringing in the same room as J and he will not answer it. Sometimes he looks like he can't even hear it other times he covers his ears.
My four year old nephew begs to talk with J on the phone (nephew loves the phone) but J wont have a bar of talking on the phone. It's not just that he doesn't want to talk with my nephew but he doesn't like to talk on the phone with anyone.
Saying all that he has spoken with me on the phone when I have been out and my older son has been looking after him, and he sounds extremely young and very insecure.
Is it because it is hard for him to make sense out of what is being said because he can't read the body language of the speaker? |
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Jennyfoo
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 06, 2006
Posts: 461
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| MY 9 y/o AS DD won't even answer the phone if I ask her to get it and tell her it's her aunt, grandma, etc(ring tones). My 4 y/o NT DD will pick up the phone as soon as it rings and start chatting away with whoever's on the other end. LOL! 5 y/o MR son who we also swear is on the spectrum too will not even think of answering a phone. |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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I think a large part of it is probably the utter nonsense and falsity involved in phone conversations:
how are you?
good and you
"i'm fine"
Thats good to know. SO what have you been up to"
Theres no meaning or point to the bulk of the conversations which makes them just plain annoying. Its not like anyone is calling and saying something useful or important like 'Hey did you know that in 1751 Peyton Randolph advised that the Pistole fee was unconstitutional, but it was another three years before the Virginia House of Burgesses took action against it."  |
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sinagua
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 29, 2007
Posts: 368
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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Our son only uses the phone to call his one friend. But he seems not to be able to tell the difference between a live human voice and a recording of a human voice - like voice mail. We are trying to teach him how to tell the difference. Because generally he will wait until he can hear someone's picked up, and then will immediately start talking "HELLOTHISISCALEBCANRYANCOMEOVERANDPLAY?" and doesn't notice that the recorded voice keeps talking. Then he gets confused.
Last edited by sinagua on Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:45 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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sinagua
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 29, 2007
Posts: 368
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Triangular_Trees wrote: | I think a large part of it is probably the utter nonsense and falsity involved in phone conversations:
how are you?
good and you
"i'm fine"
Thats good to know. SO what have you been up to"
Theres no meaning or point to the bulk of the conversations which makes them just plain annoying. Its not like anyone is calling and saying something useful or important like 'Hey did you know that in 1751 Peyton Randolph advised that the Pistole fee was unconstitutional, but it was another three years before the Virginia House of Burgesses took action against it." |
I agree completely and btw that last bit made me laugh out loud, thanks for that!  |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2305
Location: new england
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| my husband, whose aspie, has only recently begun to use the phone......he has a hard time with background noise, and hearing what people are saying correctly. he'd rather have a conversation in person.............son doesn't mind talking on the phone, but he doesn't want to make phone calls. |
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DW_a_mom
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 1028
Location: Northern California
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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I have heard many adults on the spectrum talk about how much they hate talking on the telephone, and how stressful it is. I'm not sure I've ever read any of them explain why, they may not be sure themselves, but it is a very common spectrum trait.
Or you get someone like my son - once on, he won't get off. Story after story after story, pacing the whole way!
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sinagua
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 29, 2007
Posts: 368
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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As a teenager, I did go through a phase where I talked on the phone a LOT. But gabby teenaged girls talk nonstop and "at" and "over" each other a lot anyway, so that wasn't much of a problem then, and was hardly noticed as strange.
However, as an adult, I avoid using the phone as much as possible, and have difficulty feeling "comfortable" in phone conversations with basically anyone. There are so many awkward pauses, or then I speak and cut someone off, or I feel like I'm talking too much, or not enough, or I'm boring the other person, or I can't tell if they're being sarcastic or not, or I'm not sure exactly WHY they're calling...ugh. I generally screen all our calls and only call people back if I absolutely have to. Even people I love, I have a really hard time talking to them on the phone, at least with any "ease" to it. |
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Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Joined: Apr 02, 2007
Posts: 2135
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:08 am Post subject: |
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My Aspie sons will answer the telephone if they feel like it. Otherwise they ignore it.
Sometimes they will pick up the phone and start chatting with the person. If they find it boring, they will just hang up.
Sometimes they will get through the whole phone conversation, agreeing to give Mum or Dad the message ..... but they never pass on the message.
I don't think my sons better get jobs as receptionists when they grow up!
Helen
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To see my family and my advocacy efforts: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=JR03uSFQf6Y and http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=7-ZBxFYFvuA |
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nomad21
Toucan
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 289
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:01 am Post subject: |
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| I'm an Aspie and I hate talking on the phone. I don't use it to talk, I just use it to call my best friend (who is also an Aspie) and ask if he can hang out for the day, etc. My mom gets frustrated with my fear of the phone, and has tried to make me start using it by force. For example, I had to call EB Games about a preoder and I asked my mom if she could do it and she said, "You need to get used to using the phone. You call them, here's their phone number." That didn't go over to well, I ended up not calling them at all. |
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katrine
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Posts: 550
Location: Copenhagen
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:28 am Post subject: |
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| My son used to pick up the phone - until we got a new one with a ring he hates. That made him stop completely. We have tried all the ring tones on the damn thing. They are all horrible! |
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Fayed
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 25, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 199
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:42 am Post subject: |
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I rarely use the phone at home. I use my cell phone a couple of times a month. Biggest thing I hate about talking on the phone is that i never really got the hang of when to talk. I usually end up replying to early or to late causing long pauses. That and like Triangular_Trees said, a lot of it is rather useless.
That being said, texting is great and I use it all the time. Most of the people who need to get a hold of me are family and know the cell number, so the home phone is rarely for me. |
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Binarycow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Posts: 30
Location: Iraq
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:15 am Post subject: |
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I hate calling people. I abhor it. If they person is close (within my office area, down the street) I will e-mail, text, or visit in person.
When on the phone, I must be by myself. If I'm around ANYONE, I will go quiet as a mouse.
If I'm in the car (or anywhere, really) with only one other person, that person better not pick up the phone (and if they do, it better be quick!). If there is a total of three people, I don't mind if one picks up the phone, as long as they're quiet.
When someone calls me, I will only pick up if I feel like talking to them, I'll often let it go to voicemail. If they leave a voicemail, I'll check to see if its something important; if not, I'll text them and ask them what it was. |
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Tortuga
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Posts: 483
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:30 am Post subject: |
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I've been working on the phone thing with my son for the past few years. At age 9, he will now answer the phone (sometimes with hilarious consequences) and he will eavesdrop on my conversations (which I thought was a wonderful development).
As far as having a conversation on the phone goes, he's made huge advances recently. He's also been doing music therapy and I've seen him gain some other natural behaviors too. |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2008
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Smelena wrote: | My Aspie sons will answer the telephone if they feel like it. Otherwise they ignore it.
Sometimes they will pick up the phone and start chatting with the person. If they find it boring, they will just hang up.
Sometimes they will get through the whole phone conversation, agreeing to give Mum or Dad the message ..... but they never pass on the message.
I don't think my sons better get jobs as receptionists when they grow up!
Helen |
I hated it when people told me to pass on a message to my parents, especially if it something like "tell your mom I said hi." I could never figure out when one would bring up a message such as that and so I just wouldn't pass it on |
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