Thought process and memory, disconnection

TUnoriginal · Emu Egg Joined: May 22, 2008 Posts: 8

Having recently joined WP and learning I am most certainly a fellow Aspie I was curious how my thought process was the same (or different) from others.

When it comes to learning I really can only learn something if I do it myself. Observation or literary theory is never enough. I need to see a process through (as if recording it) in order to repeat a task. My mind tends to wonder quite frequently as I work and I feel intense urges to "do something else", but I am never really sure what that "else" is. I find now, working freelance for myself, it is especially hard to get to work. I tend to be productive early in the morning and routinely wake at 3-4 AM to get started (I tend to nap a little in the afternoons). In order to be productive I have to start by listing everything I have to do in fine detail, if not I never know where to start. My listing habit even comes into play for house clean up / chores. I list what I need to do and in what order. Without a list I am lost, scrambling, with my mind racing on everything and accomplishing nothing.

I believe I have a "photographic memory", though I am never really sure what that means exactly. In my case, when I remember things, like as an example a conversation, I don't remember the words as much as the "scene". I "see" in my mind the original conversation, even subtle movements like a wince, or an eye shift. Through the replay I can remember the words, in many cases, in verbatim.

I don't remember everything, but whatever I do remember is remembered in this fashion. When I am unsure about "how something went" I get anxious and can play the scene over and over in my mind to analyze the situation, almost objectively (and generally plan for the outcomes). When it comes to reading I tend to remember words based on the page the letters were on (placement, etc...). I work as a network administrator / programmer and I routinely come across long strings of numbers (product keys, computer addresses (ip/mac), etc...) and while I don't remember everything I come across, if I have to use the same "string" more than a few times it tends to stick with me literally forever.

One sensation I find incredibly strange that I have always noticed when I am over tired is a feeling of disconnectedness with my extremities. Everything functions like normal from a motor standpoint, but I find my arms especially feel disconnected. The best way to describe this is the feeling of your arm, let's say when you've fallen asleep on it and wake up with "pins and needles". It feels like that, without the numbness, the tactile sensation is there, but it's like "someone else's" arm, or like I am controlling my arm, but indirectly via a proxy.

Somewhat similar to that sensation is the feeling I can only describe as "tunnel vision". I tend to get this on my way to a destination, while navigating large crowds, like a busy downtown city street. It's actually not a bad feeling at all, nor do I become anxious, it's more like extreme focus. My vision becomes peripheral based in focus, though I can weave through crowds, traffic, etc safely without "thinking" about paying attention, in fact usually my mind is oddly blank (rare considering usually the mind races). It's actually extremely calming. I've also noticed I more often than not get this sensation while walking while it's raining.

Wow, some many things I have never said before, only thought. It's like a weight off my chest...here's hoping I'm not the only one who thinks/feels like I do at times! Now that you all think I'm nuts....hahaha Wink