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Greyhound
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 502
Location: Birmingham, UK
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 Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:56 pm Post subject: 'How are you?' |
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Do other people find it annoying when people ask 'how are you?' as a customary part of the greeting?
I mean, it is polite, so it shows that people are concerned about you (well, they can ask it anyway, but at least it shows they've made an effort), but you wonder how much they actually care, seeing as you're going to answer 'fine thanks' anyway. I'm happy enough just to say 'hello'. I only really need to be asked if I am feeling upset or I'm angry or crying (and then the question should be 'what's the matter?' or something like that).
Anyway, I've found it's okay if you forget to say 'and you?' after saying 'fine thanks' as long as you usually ask how they are and don't forget too often.
Well, I think that's correct 
I've confused myself now. I'm tired. Time for bed 
_________________
I don't have Aspergers, I'm just socially inept
Diagnosed: Tourette syndrome
Suspected: auditory processing disorder, synaesthesia
Also: social, attention and organisation problems
Last edited by Greyhound on Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:02 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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DejaQ
Drill fork! It can drill and fork! ...Mostly fork.
Joined: Feb 18, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1978
Location: The Silver Devastation
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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I alway respond to "How are you?" with "How are you?", and leave it at that.
Golly, who comes up with these colloquialisms?  |
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Daewoodrow
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 22, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 187
Location: Canterbury, England
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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"How are you" is a stupid question, because as you said, nobody actually cares how you are. They only ask to be polite. I used to put thought into the question, but now i just reply "fine". I don't even ask how they are, which i'm sure seems impolite but i really don't care.
Did you know that in British culture (I am British), the correct response to the phrase "How do you do" is "How do YOU do", and it is considered traditionally impolite not to say "How do you do" as it is to respond with anything but the same. |
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Greyhound
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 502
Location: Birmingham, UK
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Daewoodrow wrote: | | Did you know that in British culture (I am British), the correct response to the phrase "How do you do" is "How do YOU do", and it is considered traditionally impolite not to say "How do you do" as it is to respond with anything but the same. |
I'm British too. I didn't know you had to put emphasis on the 'you' in the reply, but I don't think anyone's ever said 'how do you do?' to me before. 'How do you do?' is quite formal and usually accompanies a handshake I think, in which case, yes I think I would say 'how do you do?' in return, but not with emphasis on the 'you' in the reply.
I'm tired. I really really must go to bed now!
_________________
I don't have Aspergers, I'm just socially inept
Diagnosed: Tourette syndrome
Suspected: auditory processing disorder, synaesthesia
Also: social, attention and organisation problems |
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Daewoodrow
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 22, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 187
Location: Canterbury, England
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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| oh yeah, it's not impolite not to emphasise "you", but traditionally the responding party would emphasise. It is a dying greeting now, but you may encounter that particular greeting if you happen to have a high profile job or you go to a job/university interview. |
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Greyhound
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 502
Location: Birmingham, UK
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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I need not worry about that particular phrase then 
_________________
I don't have Aspergers, I'm just socially inept
Diagnosed: Tourette syndrome
Suspected: auditory processing disorder, synaesthesia
Also: social, attention and organisation problems |
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CrushedPentagon
Raven
Joined: Oct 09, 2007
Posts: 115
Location: The universe is inside my mind
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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I agree 100%. If I try to pin someone down with the fact that they really don't want to know how I am, that they are just saying that, they will swear up and down that yes, they really, really do want to know how I am.
I actually did that to a co-worker once. Then, the next time I saw him, AFTER I told him what a terrible morning I had had, he went ahead and said, "How are you?" as I came into his office. I was all "gotcha" and he was embarrassed and changed the subject quickly. |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20872
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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I hate being asked that question. It's good that they care, but the thing that I don't like, is that they expect me to tell them, that I'm doing fine. What if I'm not doing fine, when they ask me? I've been working very hard, to maintain my Cockney Spirit, for the past 12 days. The next person to ask me that, in real life, will have it coming to them.
_________________
Sid The Rat is everything that I stand for. We're both large, proud Punkers with Cockney accents. We both have the same issues, as well. I don't see anything wrong, with that. I was put on this planet, to make myself happy. Sid :O) |
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SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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I never really gave it much thought, and just respond "fine" as if I were giving any rote answer to any question.
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"How about a shave?"
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IdahoRose
Imaginary Friend
Joined: Feb 25, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 4450
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I like asking people how they are. For one, it's a great conversation starter, and for two... Well, I'm probably one of the few people who genuinely wants to know how someone is! |
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Mishcana
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 16, 2007
Posts: 153
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Kind of starting to like the japanese way where you talk about the weather - much more neutral, no falsification of feelings happening, s'all good.
Usually people here want something from "Not bad - pretty good" |
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zghost
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 619
Location: Southeast Texas
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Nowdays I just say "fine" or "okay", but (before I got tired of the odd looks) I used to give strange answers, such as "medium rare". |
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Ryn
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 429
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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I just realized a few days ago that when people ask that question it's just a formality and that often they don't want an honest answer. I always answered however much I wanted to tell. Oops. XD
I always ask it in conversations, but I acutally want to know so perhaps that's why I always assumed everyone else did too. |
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Thomas1138
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 460
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| Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I never really liked the greeting myself, if you take it literally, it puts you on the spot (which I did for a short time when it first became prevelant). Now I usually just respond with a "hey" and keep walking. |
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weather1man
Toucan
Joined: Oct 31, 2005
Age: 19
Posts: 295
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:06 am Post subject: |
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I say it along with most american's. It's just like hi, good to see you or hi I acknowledge your existence. Nothing more than that.
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"But in general, at first shy guys may seem interesting and cute, but it DOES get old really quick. Gets too boring." |
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