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sofia108
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 15
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 Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 1:25 pm Post subject: hi...New to AS...new to myself...can anybody help? |
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hello everybody.....im 21, ive been around wp for mayb 3 weeks...trying to find out as much as i can abt AS, coz when i stumbled onto some info on the web, i felt i could relate to it in a LOT of ways!!
i stay in the middle east...have never heard of AS before this, but now the symptons jus seem to read my own profile, im pretty worried coz i really dont know what to do.....
these are some of the things that realy seem to fit in-
-i cant socialize much, i can talk to people to an extent, but tend to pull my guards up after a level and there are hardly any close friends i have made.....there mayb people who are friendly to me in the beginning, but somewhere in b/w i dont know what happens..the friendship never goes any more further than that.....
-i have been called insensitive to the core....unemotional....coz im almost 'faceless'... a lot of times people cant see any expressions on my face...they can never make out if im happy/sad etc.....my friend tells me im not at all transparent and kinda unapproachable...i look like im in my own world...on my own trip!
-i am told i speak in a robotic voice.....n wht ive read is aspie's tend to speak in a monotone, no matter how much i try...i still can never modulate my voice in the rite way
-i have major expression issues...even with my own friends...i find it difficult to jus go upto them n tel them...this is what im feeling today, they think im egoistic coz of this lack of communication frm my end. when i do tend to say something or put my point forward, i come across as blunt...or not having the tact to speak in diff situations
-i even tend to be pretty ineffective in conversations, whether formal or informal, im confident that theres my speech is perfectly fine but im still not able to get a message across...ppl dont tend to take me seriously....and i sound unclear abt wht exactly am saying....
-i dont like to b called a boring person, but i tend to hv a v meek response to social outings, or even to normally hanging out wid friends, they think im 'disinterested' in making plans, or dont enjoy their company....i dont mind but yeah i kinda like to be alone
-people have always called me 'a lil weird' in school n college, but i never took it so seriously, but now its kinda growing on me coz im hearing it a lot more...and they say it on my face!
-i hate office politics....whenever theres an issue, i hate to b involved, not that im scared, but i just feel its so mundane, and useless, nd feel sick about how the world is...and wish if ppl could just be peaceful....all this wouldnt happen
-...there may b serious situations that occur....but i realize the seriousness of the issue very late..mayb when the whole thing is even solved....this is another reason im called insensitive....nothing tends to strike me at the right time!!
theres a lot more....but i jus wanna know if most of you feel any of the above...and tell me if i really have AS! i know many of you have a very positive take on it....its not that i think theres smthin wrong in being an aspie...but mayb this is the reason why ive indirectly hurt ppl close to me in a lot of ways, i never meant to....but ive always disappointed my friends n everyone else, i dont think i can ever make place in anyones mind...i feel miserable coz im weird!
i wanna see a doctor....but can anyone tell me what kind of specialist i should see, ive checked out a few major hospitals, but nobody seems to be have any experience dealing with such issues....is this so weird??
...any advice would be really appreciated...thank u for reading....cheers.... |
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oblio
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 26, 2007
Age: 52
Posts: 163
Location: Pointless Forest, Low Countries
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject: Re: hi...New to AS...new to myself...can anybody help? |
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| sofia108 wrote: | i stay in the middle east...
i wanna see a doctor....but can anyone tell me what kind of specialist i should see, ive checked out a few major hospitals, but nobody seems to be have any experience dealing with such issues....is this so weird??
...any advice would be really appreciated...thank u for reading....cheers.... |
hi youthful lady of wisdom, welcome to WP
you would seem an acceptable candidate at first sight
just curious as to where in the middle east - no too much turmoil i hope - but your location may well present you with additional trouble in finding the
right professional: psychologist, preferably psychiatrist
you need a doctor who really knows something about the mind,
but who is also up to date - it is very easy to get misdiagnosed,
as you may have read - even by many of these psychists
i got my suspicion confirmed by a paediatrician who was well aware,
and not only of autism (she has a severely autistic daughter), but also
of asperger's, and more importantly, of late-in-life as-diagnosis
she then suggested a specific psychiatrist
my road towards recent dx (see my blog) then took a surprising
strangely accellerated turn to the highway through hospitalization
instead of the intended private practice psychiatrist
but the result was the same
maybe check at a local primary school, if they can put you in touch with the person they contact in case a pupil of theirs presents with learning difficulties -
you could always pretend you are looking for someone else
get into a private conversation with this person and find out whether (s)he
is at least of autism in general, and asperger's specifically
good luck with your search
_________________
a point in every direction is the same as no point at all - or is it |
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SilverProteus
The years, no doubt, have changed me.
Joined: Jul 21, 2007
Posts: 7154
Location: Fleet Street.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome sofia108! 
_________________
"How about a shave?"
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gitchel
Blue Jay
Joined: Aug 21, 2007
Age: 54
Posts: 84
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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Sofia
First: welcome.
It’s hard to do the transition from “the weirdest of us” to “not one of us.” It may be odd for you to discover that your difficulties were not the result of your constant failure – which is still something you at least have responsibility for – but were the result of your having a different model of brain – which places the responsibility and control into the hands of others.
I know that sounded strange. What I mean is, for me, at the very worst time of my life, I still always thought I was just a tiny distance away from getting everything “right” and finally blending in. I worked hard for that, and had a great deal of success passing as “eccentric.” But it was so strenuous, so painful, and so disappointing when those I love couldn’t understand why I often made them feel disdained and disregarded.
When I discovered my own Aspergian ethnicity, I felt many good things. I was glad, finally, to have an explanation for so many aspects of myself that I had come to consider self-betrayals. And it was good to tie in with the coping techniques and personal accounts of my brother Aspies. However, I have also had to deal with the realization that “normalcy” was not just out of my reach. It was a false goal that I could never have achieved. It was not possible for my kind of human to be that kind of human. So, that goal was no longer in my control. In fact, there were a lot of things that were no longer in my control.
So, I can understand your distress when you face the possibility of such a change of perspective. There may even be a bit of a period of quite appropriate mourning. On the other hand, it is good to have a tribe. Especially one that actually needs you.
You can, if you prefer, simply back away and forget you saw what you saw that made you suspect Aspergers. Or you can approach it like a medical emergency, as many do. Or you can search out what confirmation you feel you need and then move forward resolutely with your true nature finally clear to you.
So, finally, I welcome you again. Let us know what’s on your mind.
_________________
--
Jeff Gitchel
jeff@perseveration.org
http://perseveration.org
Last edited by gitchel on Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:22 am; edited 1 time in total |
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richie
Ye Olde Bookwyrme
Joined: Jan 10, 2007
Age: 49
Posts: 10486
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
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JerryHatake
Kumdo Practitioner
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 8694
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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Nice to meet you, sofia108. 
_________________
Jerry
"No one is the same you can't compare yourself to other people because everyone is different" - Michelle
"Everything happens for a reason, no matter how hard that is to believe sometimes, it is so true!" - Michelle
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ross54
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:25 pm Post subject: Being accused of lack of tact, sensitivity |
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| Sofia; Welcome. I'm pretty new at this myself. Just joined WP today.I very much understand when you speak about being accused of lacking tact or sensitivity, and coming off as blunt when you assert yourself. The emotions of others can be so confusing, so mysterious. I have inadvertently stepped on so many toes. Sometimes its difficult to know if the criticism is fair, or is just part of the other person's negativity. You ask about getting an objective determination of your aspie status. There is a test you can take online, if that option appeals to you, which provides a A.Q.(Asperger's quotient). Try typing into google: Asperger's quotient test. If you do take this test please consider coming back here to discuss your reactions to the results. Ross |
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Tim_Tex
Fork and Spoon Operator
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18879
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to WP!
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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ReallyGoodName
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 44
Location: TN
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| Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: hi...New to AS...new to myself...can anybody help? |
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| sofia108 wrote: | hello everybody.....im 21, ive been around wp for mayb 3 weeks...trying to find out as much as i can abt AS, coz when i stumbled onto some info on the web, i felt i could relate to it in a LOT of ways!!
i stay in the middle east...have never heard of AS before this, but now the symptons jus seem to read my own profile, im pretty worried coz i really dont know what to do.....
these are some of the things that realy seem to fit in-
-i cant socialize much, i can talk to people to an extent, but tend to pull my guards up after a level and there are hardly any close friends i have made.....there mayb people who are friendly to me in the beginning, but somewhere in b/w i dont know what happens..the friendship never goes any more further than that.....
-i have been called insensitive to the core....unemotional....coz im almost 'faceless'... a lot of times people cant see any expressions on my face...they can never make out if im happy/sad etc.....my friend tells me im not at all transparent and kinda unapproachable...i look like im in my own world...on my own trip!
-i am told i speak in a robotic voice.....n wht ive read is aspie's tend to speak in a monotone, no matter how much i try...i still can never modulate my voice in the rite way
-i have major expression issues...even with my own friends...i find it difficult to jus go upto them n tel them...this is what im feeling today, they think im egoistic coz of this lack of communication frm my end. when i do tend to say something or put my point forward, i come across as blunt...or not having the tact to speak in diff situations
-i even tend to be pretty ineffective in conversations, whether formal or informal, im confident that theres my speech is perfectly fine but im still not able to get a message across...ppl dont tend to take me seriously....and i sound unclear abt wht exactly am saying....
-i dont like to b called a boring person, but i tend to hv a v meek response to social outings, or even to normally hanging out wid friends, they think im 'disinterested' in making plans, or dont enjoy their company....i dont mind but yeah i kinda like to be alone
-people have always called me 'a lil weird' in school n college, but i never took it so seriously, but now its kinda growing on me coz im hearing it a lot more...and they say it on my face!
-i hate office politics....whenever theres an issue, i hate to b involved, not that im scared, but i just feel its so mundane, and useless, nd feel sick about how the world is...and wish if ppl could just be peaceful....all this wouldnt happen
-...there may b serious situations that occur....but i realize the seriousness of the issue very late..mayb when the whole thing is even solved....this is another reason im called insensitive....nothing tends to strike me at the right time!!
theres a lot more....but i jus wanna know if most of you feel any of the above...and tell me if i really have AS! i know many of you have a very positive take on it....its not that i think theres smthin wrong in being an aspie...but mayb this is the reason why ive indirectly hurt ppl close to me in a lot of ways, i never meant to....but ive always disappointed my friends n everyone else, i dont think i can ever make place in anyones mind...i feel miserable coz im weird!
i wanna see a doctor....but can anyone tell me what kind of specialist i should see, ive checked out a few major hospitals, but nobody seems to be have any experience dealing with such issues....is this so weird??
...any advice would be really appreciated...thank u for reading....cheers.... |
Hi. I'm new to the site as well. I was diagnosed years ago but I actually just discovered I have it. Myabe my mom told me but I forgot or something. I remember somehow coming across it on Wikipedia and I asked my mom if she thought it sounded like me. She said I have it.
That really sounds just about exactly like me. I also find it very difficult to socialize except for around my intermediate family. I'm just constantly nervous. When I do get the courage to talk it rarely comes out the way I mean it to. I don't really have any friends at all because of this, just some acquaintances.
I've been described emotionless too. People are always asking why I never smile. It really annoys me and they also ask why I never laugh. I actually do laugh but it's this weird sort of inside laugh and I think people probably think I'm having a heart-attack or something. It's kind of embarrassing.
I always really just want to say stuff but I can't seem to. Sometimes I have something really funny to say. Then eventually I just blurt it out. When I do that everyone is ussually moved on to another topic and everyone just looks at me.
Everything you just said pretty much applies to me so there's no real point in saying the same things anymore. |
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sofia108
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:26 am Post subject: |
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| gitchel wrote: | Sofia
First: welcome.
It’s hard to do the transition from “the weirdest of us” to “not one of us.” It may be odd for you to discover that your difficulties were not the result of your constant failure – which is still something you at least have responsibility for – but were the result of your having a different model of brain – which places the responsibility and control into the hands of others.
I know that sounded strange. What I mean is, for me, at the very worst time of my life, I still always thought I was just a tiny distance away from getting everything “right” and finally blending in. I worked hard for that, and had a great deal of success passing as “eccentric.” But it was so strenuous, so painful, and so disappointing when those I love couldn’t understand why I often made them feel disdained and disregarded.
When I discovered my own Aspergian ethnicity, I felt many good things. I was glad, finally, to have an explanation for so many aspects of myself that I had come to consider self-betrayals. And it was good to tie in with the coping techniques and personal accounts of my brother Aspies.
So, I can understand your distress when you face the possibility of such a change of perspective. There may even be a bit of a period of quite appropriate mourning. On the other hand, it is good to have a tribe. Especially one that actually needs you.
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thankyou gitchel....you're right...when i first discovered all this i was in shock...one that kinda makes you mute and you're not able to say anything....but in some ways now it does put my guilt and anxiety to rest.....
..and its great to be part of WP....its strange but feels nice to finally be able to connect to so many people who actually understand....you know what i mean....suddenly this virtual world of AS seems so much better than the real one.... |
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sofia108
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:41 am Post subject: Re: Being accused of lack of tact, sensitivity |
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| ross54 wrote: | | Sofia; Welcome. I'm pretty new at this myself. Just joined WP today.I very much understand when you speak about being accused of lacking tact or sensitivity, and coming off as blunt when you assert yourself. The emotions of others can be so confusing, so mysterious. I have inadvertently stepped on so many toes. Sometimes its difficult to know if the criticism is fair, or is just part of the other person's negativity. You ask about getting an objective determination of your aspie status. There is a test you can take online, if that option appeals to you, which provides a A.Q.(Asperger's quotient). Try typing into google: Asperger's quotient test. If you do take this test please consider coming back here to discuss your reactions to the results. Ross |
hi Ross....nice to meet you...its funny how we find things that are easy for others to understand so strange ourselves....i'm curious about one bit though....does the fact of knowing that you are an aspie make you stop trying any more....like i feel i'll always have 'im an aspie..i cant understnd things' at the back of my head and that would make me such a pessimist...that i may stop trying to understand people's problems, emotions...etc
by the way thanks for the test info.... i did take the test......i scored 34....and was not at all surprised...coz there were 2 other tests i had taken i had taken(dont remember the name) and that put me on a 'very likely to receive an AS diagnosis' bracket....so all these online tests do tend to confirm my doubts.... |
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sofia108
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 29, 2008
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:44 am Post subject: thank you |
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| thank you everybody....for the replies....and the insight...it really helps...im enjoying WP already! |
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3729
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:16 am Post subject: Re: hi...New to AS...new to myself...can anybody help? |
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Hi sofia108,
welcome to WP.
I'm glad that you are liking it here so far.
_________________
The hero is no braver than the ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
- Unknown Author.
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ross54
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: Trying to understand others |
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| Sofia; I would encourage you to keep trying to understand other people's emotions. The alternative doesn't seem very satisfactory. I believe I am more able to understand people's emotions than when I was younger, so there is the possibility of improvement. When this understanding breaks down, it can be distressing, but NTs have to cope with this same problem, just not nearly as much as we do. About the test: I took the A.Q. Test yesterday, score 38. Disturbing, to me, to have my suspicions confirmed. But it does explain so much! Ross |
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lelia
Pika
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Age: 56
Posts: 1309
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
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| Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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I think you're my twin sister, Sofia.
You can change a little bit and you can learn methods of coping and you can stop berating yourself for being different. I'm relaxed now about my problems with recognizing people because it is not because I am lazy or self-centered. Now that I know that it's inborn, I say to people I meet the first time, please, the next time we meet, don't be afraid to reintroduce yourself again if I look bewildered. I'm missing the five brain cells that everyone else uses for instant recognition, so I would be grateful if you would help me out. Now people are glad to help me out now that they know I'm not a snob. |
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