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QuirkyCarla
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 22, 2005
Posts: 826
Location: IntensitySquared.
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 Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:25 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | Heidi and I have beren hanging out alot, talking. She is a little more touchy with me. We just hug right now, nothing more. But last night, out of the blue, we were watching TV and she just tells me she bought a thong. I don't know what to think about this. |
Lol, I wouldn't read into that. |
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ELLCIM
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 513
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 11:52 pm Post subject: |
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I wish I knew why women like to give mixed signals - but from my experience, I would say that the vast majority do give mixed signals. One minute they're acting like your best friend, then the next minute they tell you you're creepy and that they're scared of you, and you get blocked on MSN.
I think a lot of women get their jollies from flirting heavily with a man, then acting like they did nothing. |
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majedemon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Dec 19, 2005
Posts: 25
Location: College Station, TX
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:30 am Post subject: |
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I'm not that good with girls and their mixed-signals... like i have more problems to think about..
if a girl wants to talk to me.. she has to talk honestly and say what is on her mind.. or else we really won't get anywhere.
i wish that AS becomes more known in the world.. so i don't have to explain to everybody what it is... and they won't understand and think i'm some sick guy or something....... well i hope i said something useful. 
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HEY!! you the guy that's deleting my avatar!! WTF? |
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GroovyDruid
Columnist
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | Why do women do this crap? |
There is more method to the madness that is woman than is first apparent to an aspie man. May I suggest two excellent books, if you haven't read them already?
The System: How to Get Laid Tonight by Roy Valentine
This book is a treasure. It brilliantly and concisely explains the battle of the sexes, the body language and games involved, and it is written to men. Every aspie guy should read this book. Whether you're in a relationship now, or you are looking for one, you won't be sorry you spent $12 and a couple of hours to read this slim volume. As the title suggests, the emphasis is on seduction, but that doesn't do justice to the deep truths this book explores. Forget the thesis in the title and treat yourself to a no-nonsense tour of The Rules. Your romantic life will never be the same. Nobody can jerk you around after this one.
How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland
This book is more mainstream and in-depth, a best-selling classic. These two guys are experts on male-female relations, and they go over volumes of priceless information about how to succeed in communicating with women. They cover everything. This book is like the Bible, and nearly as thick. It's cheap, especially in paperback. If you are like most aspie guys, you will slap your forehead and yell, "Oh! I get it now!" every page or so you read of this great book.
You can get both these at your local Borders. When you get sick playing the game without knowing the rules, pick them up.
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.
--Goethe |
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GroovyDruid
Columnist
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide
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| Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| ELLCIM wrote: | | I think a lot of women get their jollies from flirting heavily with a man, then acting like they did nothing. |
Perceptive of you, ELLCIM. Roy Valentine addresses this first thing in his book I recommended above, The System.
Women do just that. They have it down to a science. The more admiration they can get without giving anything and the more men they can leave panting and unfulfilled, then the more points they score and the more status they have in our society. The trick is to learn how to show some interest but no open admiration. This takes points away, and women get very curious about you...
Anyway, read the book! 
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.
--Goethe |
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ELLCIM
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 513
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:48 am Post subject: |
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| GroovyDruid wrote: | | ELLCIM wrote: | | I think a lot of women get their jollies from flirting heavily with a man, then acting like they did nothing. |
Perceptive of you, ELLCIM. Roy Valentine addresses this first thing in his book I recommended above, The System.
Women do just that. They have it down to a science. The more admiration they can get without giving anything and the more men they can leave panting and unfulfilled, then the more points they score and the more status they have in our society. The trick is to learn how to show some interest but no open admiration. This takes points away, and women get very curious about you...
Anyway, read the book! |
Trust me, after almost five years of unsuccessfully trying to get a girlfriend, I have become very cynical about women and I can predict their actions pretty well. Doesn't do anything for me, but it makes constant rejections more interesting.
I'll be looking for books soon. |
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grayson
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 05, 2005
Posts: 239
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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The techniques in the books GroovyDruid recommended, while possibly (probably?) excellent for relating to NT women, will not work on Aspie women. Just as an aside  .
I, for example, want clear, honest communication. The minute a guy starts trying out seduction techniques on me, I am very turned off.
| GroovyDruid wrote: | | Women do just that. They have it down to a science. The more admiration they can get without giving anything and the more men they can leave panting and unfulfilled, then the more points they score and the more status they have in our society. |
Um, this doesn't describe me at all. Perhaps it does describe all those women I don't understand and don't enjoy being around, however ....
_________________
Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. (Emily Dickinson) |
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GroovyDruid
Columnist
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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| grayson wrote: | | The techniques in the books GroovyDruid recommended, while possibly (probably?) excellent for relating to NT women, will not work on Aspie women. Just as an aside . |
Oo. Yeah. Forgot to mention that caveat: aspie women are not of the same breed as NT women. These books are for relating to NTs, for the most part.
| grayson wrote: |
I, for example, want clear, honest communication. The minute a guy starts trying out seduction techniques on me, I am very turned off. |
That's awesome! I would love to see this someday. I've studied all the tricks and have used more than a few to ... communicate ... with NT women, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't thoroughly enjoy seeing a NT guy who prides himself on his Game getting shot to pieces by a hot aspie chick!
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.
--Goethe |
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quietangel
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="GroovyDruid"] | grayson wrote: |
Oo. Yeah. Forgot to mention that caveat: aspie women are not of the same breed as NT women. These books are for relating to NTs, for the most part.
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We are of a different breed aren't we <---that is a good thing.
however I wonder why you are cautioning him that we aspie women are not the same... I think the caution would be better suited to him being attracted to a NT... ?
_________________
I research therefore, I am.
Just call me "Miss Communication" |
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ghotistix
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 1186
Location: Massachusetts
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:33 am Post subject: |
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| GroovyDruid wrote: | | grayson wrote: | | The techniques in the books GroovyDruid recommended, while possibly (probably?) excellent for relating to NT women, will not work on Aspie women. Just as an aside . |
Oo. Yeah. Forgot to mention that caveat: aspie women are not of the same breed as NT women. These books are for relating to NTs, for the most part.
| grayson wrote: |
I, for example, want clear, honest communication. The minute a guy starts trying out seduction techniques on me, I am very turned off. |
That's awesome! I would love to see this someday. I've studied all the tricks and have used more than a few to ... communicate ... with NT women, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't thoroughly enjoy seeing a NT guy who prides himself on his Game getting shot to pieces by a hot aspie chick! |
It goes both ways, at least for me. I don't get "turned off" when some misguided girl decides to flirt with me, but it's certainly confusing. I can recognize it easily enough, but I never have a clue how to respond to it, or even if I should. It seems vaguely dishonest when talking to someone to have an ulterior motive which you're trying to introduce in a sneaky manner instead of plainly and directly, and I'm helpless to do anything but ignore that kind of behavior. |
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grayson
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 05, 2005
Posts: 239
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:25 am Post subject: |
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| quietangel wrote: | | GroovyDruid wrote: | Oo. Yeah. Forgot to mention that caveat: aspie women are not of the same breed as NT women. These books are for relating to NTs, for the most part.
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We are of a different breed aren't we <---that is a good thing.
however I wonder why you are cautioning him that we aspie women are not the same... I think the caution would be better suited to him being attracted to a NT... ? |
Oh...it was more of a gut reaction thing on my part, not so much a caution to GroovyDruid. More a "heads up" to all the guys trying to figure out what to do to communicate with women. Mixed with some "hey, I don't like being lumped in with people like that" and some "if you stick to Aspie women you won't have to read and absorb these kinds of strange alien techniques" .
_________________
Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. (Emily Dickinson) |
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grayson
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 05, 2005
Posts: 239
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:31 am Post subject: |
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| ghotistix wrote: | | I don't get "turned off" when some misguided girl decides to flirt with me, but it's certainly confusing. I can recognize it easily enough, but I never have a clue how to respond to it, or even if I should. It seems vaguely dishonest when talking to someone to have an ulterior motive which you're trying to introduce in a sneaky manner instead of plainly and directly, and I'm helpless to do anything but ignore that kind of behavior. |
Yes, that's what I'm talking about not working with me. All that suave, smooth-talking crapola. A guy who's interested in talking about something "real" and is friendly is appealing, if it otherwise "clicks"; but guys who are clearly pretending to be interested just so they can take you home are boring and a definite turn-off even if I find them physically attractive.
Now, a guy who is friendly and right straight up front about wanting to take you home, that's a turn-on again . I guess its the "fakey" aspect that really turns me off. "Let me say the right things....let me move the right way...let me sneak my hand over to her shoulder as I point out the painting on the wall....let me pretend to be fascinated by what she's saying...." Yuck.
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Much madness is divinest sense, to a discerning eye; much sense, the starkest madness. (Emily Dickinson) |
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GroovyDruid
Columnist
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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| quietangel wrote: | | however I wonder why you are cautioning him that we aspie women are not the same... I think the caution would be better suited to him being attracted to a NT... ? |
I just don't want some poor fellow to get mixed up. That's all. Aspie guys have enough pain in this area.
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.
--Goethe |
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quietangel
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 362
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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| GroovyDruid wrote: |
I just don't want some poor fellow to get mixed up. That's all. Aspie guys have enough pain in this area. |
True enough...
_________________
I research therefore, I am.
Just call me "Miss Communication" |
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GroovyDruid
Columnist
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 384
Location: where I decide
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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| grayson wrote: |
Now, a guy who is friendly and right straight up front about wanting to take you home, that's a turn-on again . I guess its the "fakey" aspect that really turns me off. "Let me say the right things....let me move the right way...let me sneak my hand over to her shoulder as I point out the painting on the wall....let me pretend to be fascinated by what she's saying...." Yuck. |
From the behavior aspect, this is fascinating....
See, some of the things you have mentioned as turn-offs are also turn-offs to NT women--but for different reasons.
For example, touching a girl by pointing over her shoulder? BIG mistake when seducing an NT girl. Why? Because she know's she's got you. You wanted to touch her, and you did, and she can have you if she wants you, which of course means she won't want you, and she'll go after some other guy she's not sure she can get.
But you eschew the game element entirely, the "saying and doing the right things" stuff. Fascinating.
I do that naturally, too, of course. I love it when a girl is up-front about liking me and getting to know me. Unfortunately, in the NT world, such women are usually NUTS. (Yes, BONKERS, INSANE.) NT women who bypass the game are very often--though not always--out of their tree. I've found they have serious emotional problems, mental illness, or the like.
_________________
Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can do,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius,
Power and magic in it.
--Goethe |
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