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princesseli
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jan 08, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 190
Location: Honolulu HI/ Los Angeles CA
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 Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 4:17 am Post subject: The parent issue |
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I wasnt sure where to put this. Right now I have a boyfriend whos twice my age who's also aspie. He's 38 and Im 19. We actually met on here in the beginning of Feb and started IMing each other. We sorta cliqued instantly and pretty much have talked for hours a day almost everyday since then. Well he's come to visit me and I went up to visit him just recently. I made this trip completely without my parents knowing about it. Im in college out of state so I managed to pull it off by telling a few lies to my parents about where I was. The main problem is that not surprisingly all my friends whom Ive told are against the relationship and think I should end it with him except for one friend who completely supports it. Ive even had one friend who trying to have an open mind but I notice she tries to angle on that I shouldnt be with him.
I really dont know what to do with my parent issue. My parents would be 100% opposed to this. And they would react very badly if they knew I lied to them and went to visit him. Im not sure how to open this up to my parents. While I am a legal adult, Im still dependent upon my parents financially. I figure if this relationship lasts, Im gonna have to tell them eventually. We've been together for 2 months so far. I've had to be very careful to hide things, cause if this gets out to my parents I am so majorly screwed. |
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LoveableNerd
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Kentucky, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:58 am Post subject: |
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I'm not sure what advice I can give to help break the information to your parents. But your story is great encouragement to us aspies in our 30's that there is still hope!
_________________
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.---George Bernard Shaw
8th Cmdmt: Thou Shalt Not Steal. |
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Veresae
Putrescent And Flummoxed
Joined: Feb 25, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 3191
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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Hrrrm. Well, that really is an icky situation. I mean, they're going to find out eventually--sooner or later, details will add up and they're going to get suspicious.
Do you think they'd be against the idea of you being in ANY online relationship, or just with a 38 year old? If the latter, you could hold off on mentioning the age--or perhaps lying about it, though I'm not sure I'd recommend that. Not sure if your boi looks his age or looks younger, for one thing, and even if he did look younger than 38 you probably wouldn't be able to convince them that he was in the 19-25 age range. For another, if this becomes long-term...well, they could find out eventually.
While I'm not suggesting you two break up or anything, I do suggest that you two talk very seriously about how to work this out. Don't do anything rash, or anything you'll regret. Avoid the extremes. |
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princesseli
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jan 08, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 190
Location: Honolulu HI/ Los Angeles CA
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Veresae wrote: | Hrrrm. Well, that really is an icky situation. I mean, they're going to find out eventually--sooner or later, details will add up and they're going to get suspicious.
Do you think they'd be against the idea of you being in ANY online relationship, or just with a 38 year old? If the latter, you could hold off on mentioning the age--or perhaps lying about it, though I'm not sure I'd recommend that. Not sure if your boi looks his age or looks younger, for one thing, and even if he did look younger than 38 you probably wouldn't be able to convince them that he was in the 19-25 age range. For another, if this becomes long-term...well, they could find out eventually.
While I'm not suggesting you two break up or anything, I do suggest that you two talk very seriously about how to work this out. Don't do anything rash, or anything you'll regret. Avoid the extremes. |
Umm I think its probably an online relationship plus him being 38. Like its a double dose of extremities. My parents are very conservative so they'd probably be against it at all costs. Well he does look a bit younger but not young enough to be of an exceptable age. Like he looks in his early 30s. But yeah holding off on the age would be the best. |
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gbollard
the oncoming storm
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 3071
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:40 am Post subject: |
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Your parents will find out and they will be opposed to it. There's nothing that you could say or do to change their minds.
If they're very conservative, then they'll refuse to accept anything that doesn't fit their picture of what is right.
Accept that you'll not have an easy time and get prepared.
If you love each other, stay together - nobody has the right to separate you.
_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/ |
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