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zeldapsychology
Deinonychus
Joined: May 05, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 386
Location: Florida
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 Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 10:30 pm Post subject: Have you ever wanted to quit making friends? |
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Usually with my behavior I act crazy and tend to push people away. Sadly based off of not having many friends and taking a good hard look on my life in the past I'm kind of fearful of meeting people. This isn't a one time thing I've upset people throughout my life family,friends,students,teachers,coworkers bosses. (The teacher aspect lead to her wanting me to get a psychological evaluation which costs money that I don't have and the coworker lead to the aspect of sexual harrassment getting tossed around.) 
Sadly sometimes I think why be yourself and happy if that behavior is going to upset people. I'm doing online classes but do not see that as helping in the social department and the job I mentioned was only my first so I worry about getting a second I want socialization but can I be myself and happy and yet behave how others want. Any tips? 
Thanks |
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JerryHatake
Kumdo Practitioner
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 8961
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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Not really because friendships are good to have.
_________________
Each person gets his or her own freedom and passion one by one
For us who were born in order to shine, our journey will continue
The trump card that supports the uncertain days is your Soul
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20855
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:04 am Post subject: |
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I've never felt that way.
_________________
Sid The Rat is everything that I stand for. We're both large, proud Punkers with Cockney accents. We both have the same issues, as well. I don't see anything wrong, with that. I was put on this planet, to make myself happy. Sid :O) |
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Orwell
Outer Party Member
Joined: Aug 09, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 3666
Location: Room 101
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Quite making friends? I would have to start first, so I can't really say.
_________________
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH |
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Josie
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Posts: 556
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
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| Yes I have. I am going through it now. But friends are good to have |
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Speckles
Velociraptor
Joined: May 03, 2008
Posts: 441
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| A few times I have, but I've always found coccooning myself away from others to be increadibly depressing. How ever scary it is to go and try to make friends, it wasn't as bad as the melancoly I felt not doing it. |
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frankcritic
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 145
Location: United States, AR
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 1:45 am Post subject: |
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I have a core of good friends that I made back in my college years. Those times were socially plentiful but now there's little opportunity and I find myself incapable of making new friends. My last, and I do mean last, efforts at doing so resulted in some rather major knives in the back. The friends I still trust, that I count as trustworthy in the noblest sense of the word, they will always be there. Not the physical sense, but in the sense of in my memory. Whenever I think of those friends, I can think of a time when all seemed possible. Love, friendship, family, unlimited career options, and all the other things that go with being young and naive.
You know, I really must work hard not to cry when I visit my old college and walk those sidewalks and around in those buildings. The memories come flooding back of being capable of thinking so highly of a woman that you think she's an angel put on this Earth just for you. Obviously this is profoundly stupid and represents unhealthy obsession, but I still weep when I think I was once capable of thinking so highly of a woman. Now when I see a woman that I might've once had similar feelings about nothing but contempt and disgust is there. All the ways she might betray me, all the ways she'll judge me, all the ways I am not her kind just override everything as the black bile of my misanthropy coats my mind like dressing tossed in a salad.
So no, I don't make new friends, but I'll keep the ones I already have. They're the only ones who ever deserved my trust, and I've given all that I have. No more.
-Frank |
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3729
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 5:09 am Post subject: |
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Sometimes I go through periods of thinking that friends are a waste of time, and I give up on trying to make them.
Although, thats usually not because I don't want friends, but because i'm so sick of being rejected that I can't see a point in trying anymore.
_________________
The hero is no braver than the ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
- Unknown Author.
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tailfins1959
Deinonychus
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Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Posts: 345
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| Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 11:31 am Post subject: Re: Have you ever wanted to quit making friends? |
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| zeldapsychology wrote: | Usually with my behavior I act crazy and tend to push people away. Sadly based off of not having many friends and taking a good hard look on my life in the past I'm kind of fearful of meeting people. This isn't a one time thing I've upset people throughout my life family,friends,students,teachers,coworkers bosses. (The teacher aspect lead to her wanting me to get a psychological evaluation which costs money that I don't have and the coworker lead to the aspect of sexual harrassment getting tossed around.)
Sadly sometimes I think why be yourself and happy if that behavior is going to upset people. I'm doing online classes but do not see that as helping in the social department and the job I mentioned was only my first so I worry about getting a second I want socialization but can I be myself and happy and yet behave how others want. Any tips?
Thanks |
There are six billion people on the planet. How many have you even superficially talked to? My inclination is to make it a numbers game, moving on after the first hint of a problem. About once every five years I meet a good person that doesn't retaliate for Aspie traits. As far as coworkers go, all you need to do is complete tasks with them, limiting additional conversation to basic greetings/pleasantries.
_________________
Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy |
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jay_is_me
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 23, 2008
Posts: 11
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 7:33 am Post subject: |
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| Find ways to socialise thats not just for the sake of socialising. I fence (sword fight) and my training sessions are my socialising sessions too. If you say something wrong, its easy to get away, duel someone, then come back and try again! |
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Laurz_2192
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 11, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 61
Location: England
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Several times I've thought 'Hey, just forget it now', cause so many times it's gone wrong for me. Friends don't understand how I'm a bit different and it can be hard, whether they know or don't.
Right now, I have few close friends, but it's those few I stick by - I don't need a large group of friends to be happy ^^ Afterall, everyone needs someone to talk to... =] |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 5251
Location: A Bubble in the Ocean
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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I push my friends away sometimes because I need time to myself...it takes so much energy to be social and happy all the time.
_________________
"You can do the math a thousand way, but you can't undo the past"
From P!nk's song 'I'm Not Dead' |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11416
Location: In the shadows, waiting for my chance to strike
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: |
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| ebec11 wrote: | | I push my friends away sometimes because I need time to myself...it takes so much energy to be social and happy all the time. |
Ditto. Only I didn't really push them away, I just ignored them. Now I don't know where any of them are.
_________________
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
5th Sin: Wrath |
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sibilation
Butterfly
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 16
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 4:08 am Post subject: |
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| Several times in my life I've fantasized about running away from everyone I know and becoming a hermit. Other times when it's been difficult I've thought about not making any more effort to make friends or keep my current ones. But I'm a writer, so aside from the fact that I'd simply like to have friendships and a relationship, I also need experiences with other people to motivate and inspire my writing, so eventually I always get back up and try again. As a result, one of my friends from high school has become a great friend who does as much work for our friendship as I do. Since the time several years ago when he returned from overseas and seemed to have realised that he wanted to be a good friend to me, I haven't put in much effort towards making new friends, but I'm starting to feel like I need to start working on it again. Finding this site has helped by making me realise that there could be a reason for and a pattern to my difficulties. |
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NoriMori
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 50
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 12:59 am Post subject: Re: Have you ever wanted to quit making friends? |
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| zeldapsychology wrote: | Usually with my behavior I act crazy and tend to push people away. Sadly based off of not having many friends and taking a good hard look on my life in the past I'm kind of fearful of meeting people. This isn't a one time thing I've upset people throughout my life family,friends,students,teachers,coworkers bosses. (The teacher aspect lead to her wanting me to get a psychological evaluation which costs money that I don't have and the coworker lead to the aspect of sexual harrassment getting tossed around.)
Sadly sometimes I think why be yourself and happy if that behavior is going to upset people. I'm doing online classes but do not see that as helping in the social department and the job I mentioned was only my first so I worry about getting a second I want socialization but can I be myself and happy and yet behave how others want. Any tips?
Thanks |
Okay, first of all, PUNCTUATION. Try some commas, because when I read that it sounds in my head like you're talking a million miles a minute. 
I have felt like this. I have met exactly two people who seem to have an active interest in me despite my quirks. To some people this may seem pathetic, but for me that's like winning a Nobel Prize in social skills. These people are like precious gems to me -- very valuable, very hard to find, they sparkle in comparison to everything else, and I'd be sad if I lost them. |
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