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tcorrielus
Toucan
Joined: Jun 30, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 278
Location: Boston, MA
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 Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: I don't get this |
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| Does anyone know why it is disrespect to ask how a person has died? I was scolded twice for asking such a question. |
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Raji
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 22, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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It depends, for example if someone has lost a family member they might want to block some details. Answering why their relative has died could bring it all back.
Also some people find it a bit sadistic when others seem overly interested in how someone has died.
Death is scary basically, most people don't like to talk about it. |
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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3378
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe because it's rude or they think your are being insensitive. Just my guess.
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Tohlagos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 932
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Raji wrote: |
Death is scary basically, most people don't like to talk about it. |
Exactly. I actually will use the topic of death to end unwanted conversations and annoy rude people.
However, to the OP, you may want to add why you want to know how they died. If you add, you just want to understand because you respected the person, or say, "Look, I care, I feel I have a right to know how he/she died because their memory is important to me and all I have left of them."
If that doesn't work, well, it could be for others reasons. Such as their death happened with something that people view as negative (say drugs or drunk driving).
I dunno. I am not there and don't know anyone involved.
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tcorrielus
Toucan
Joined: Jun 30, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 278
Location: Boston, MA
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Now I see......I was just a little curious. That was all. |
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willow668
Butterfly
Joined: May 14, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:38 am Post subject: Re: I don't get this |
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| tcorrielus wrote: | | Does anyone know why it is disrespect to ask how a person has died? I was scolded twice for asking such a question. |
Not sure myself! Thought I was *queen* of the akward questions  Never fails..something will come out of my mouth & I think  oh dear.....now they think I'm really weird
Then again, in other situations, I'm one of the few who is "bold" enough to ask the question that's on everybody's mind! THEN I get the *looks* |
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Irulan
The Borg Queen
Joined: May 18, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1879
Location: Poland
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 9:33 am Post subject: |
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Not being sure if it's rude to ask that question, recently I asked my mother if it really is perceived this way because a week ago our teacher died and if I didn't know about his problems with heart (those probably was a reason of his death) I would ask our another teacher about this. I was simply very curious.
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SotiCoto
Velociraptor
Joined: May 14, 2008
Posts: 474
Location: London
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 9:46 am Post subject: |
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Anyone who claims you're being rude is just being an oversensitive gimp and needs a reality check: Just keep asking, and if they try to stop you then defy them by asking in ever cruder manners.
If they won't tell you how the person died, ask them how they snuffed it instead... and when that doesn't work... start guessing. Ask if they were road-kill, extra-toasty, aspiring to be an oversized sieve... etc.
Teach them the true meaning of "rude", and THEN ask them how the person died.... to put it in context. Don't let them win. |
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TallyMan
Ghost in the machine
Joined: Mar 31, 2008
Age: 148
Posts: 5270
Location: Everywhere, nowhere and everywhen
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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It could also depend on the circumstances of the death. If a man dies of a heart attack while wearing stockings and suspenders in a house of ill-repute then the wife isn't really going to be keen to explain how he died. 
(Sorry, I've got a black sense of humour).
Last edited by TallyMan on Thu May 15, 2008 4:04 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 20857
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates, somewhere in Canada :O)
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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I try not to ask people loaded questions, like that.
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