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| What is my main obstacle? |
| Too honest |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Geographical location |
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8% |
[ 6 ] |
| Don't have similar interests as anyone |
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13% |
[ 9 ] |
| Don't have the right personality |
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10% |
[ 7 ] |
| Something else |
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59% |
[ 41 ] |
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| Total Votes : 69 |
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Message |
LiendaBalla
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 624
Location: Houston Texas United States
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 Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | Here is my situation in a nutshell:
AS + liberal = either happy being single, or already in a relationship
AS + single and looking = conservative
NT = won't date me because I am "white trash" (meaning "not rich") |
'sigh' I would love to erase your ex out of your mind, because I don't care for your "NTs are the same" catagories that you lump under her. Gee, was she that hot? This one was suppsedly a Nuero Typical... so what..
_________________
Removing objects and material out of our mental perspective leaves only the thought of our souls. |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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I am close to renouncing Christianity, all because of the "abstinence until marriage" rule.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Metal_Man
Toucan
Joined: Feb 04, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 298
Location: A higher state of existance
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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Embracing agnosticism was probably one of the smartest things I ever did. Religion is a means of controlling the compulsive behaviors that most NT's will so readily descend into. We are Aspies and not prone to such illogical, self destructive behaviors. Therefore religion just doesn't make much sense to me.
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Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. Homer J. Simpson |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Metal_Man wrote: | | Embracing agnosticism was probably one of the smartest things I ever did. Religion is a means of controlling the compulsive behaviors that most NT's will so readily descend into. We are Aspies and not prone to such illogical, self destructive behaviors. Therefore religion just doesn't make much sense to me. |
I still believe in God, just not an over-organized formal doctrine.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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sgrannel
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 448
Location: USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | Here is my situation in a nutshell:
AS + liberal = either happy being single, or already in a relationship
AS + single and looking = conservative
NT = won't date me because I am "white trash" (meaning "not rich") |
Why do you think that only AS girls will date you? How do you know that a girl is AS? Arbitrarily ruling out the NTs won't do you any good. Would you reject an NT who will date you? Surely there must be exceptions to your rules, unless you have been assigning women to liberal/conservative or AS/NT status after the fact, in which case there are no exceptions by definition.
I'm wary of religion too, because I know that troubled and compromised people are drawn to it, so I treat it like a big red flag if a person is too obsessed with it. Religion can interfere with people if so much energy and emotional and material resource is devoted to it, that relationships and personal needs are neglected. Extreme examples include cults whose charismatic male leaders attract perhaps dozens of the female followers away from the now deprived male followers. Such arrangements hold nothing of value for honest and ordinary men, and these men are fools for supporting these arrangements. The belief content has nothing to do with what's really going on here.
Sometimes a woman will use religion as an excuse for not taking a relationship to the next level. She'll use it as a crutch to avoid taking responsibility for telling you "no", which she was going to do anyway. In that case, she was really breaking up with you (no money?) by using a method so tactful, that everyone, including you, believes you're the one who broke up with her. (Well, she must have been too conservative, or maybe she really was NT?)
Once I had a religious woman tell me she doesn't do sex until marriage. I could agree to that if she were to spend a lot of time with me doing other things, and give me a reason to believe she's serious about wanting me to eventually marry her. I can't get sex from her without marriage, but she can't get marriage from me without a lot of time spent together. Something is wrong if a woman wants to use sex to pressure a man into marriage without giving him an opportunity to get to know her first, even (especially) if she says it's because of her religion. She's hiding something.
_________________
You should get to know me better. No one's ever what they seem.-- Shirley Manson
Last edited by sgrannel on Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:20 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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I can only date an NT if I lived in a communist country because there are no social classes. Everyone has the same income.
I'm a LOSER!
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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sgrannel
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 448
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 4:20 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | I can only date an NT if I lived in a communist country because there are no social classes. Everyone has the same income.
I'm a LOSER! |
Well, no, you're not any more of a loser than I am. Actually, I jokingly told my mom that I must be a loser a few months ago. I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but you must first see things as they really are if you are to make progress. The problem is that you need money, not that you're a loser. That's the epiphany.
You have data from only one NT and one aspie. What went wrong with the aspie? Was that the conservative? This is too little data to make conclusions. If you cut out 99.5% of the female population from your pool, you're pretty much dooming yourself to failure because it's not easy even without excluding the NTs. I'm not saying what you're doing is impossible, but that's not how I would place my bets. Personally, I would probably prefer the NTs because in a relationship at least one of us has to have the talent for the NT stuff. I can fix the car.
_________________
You should get to know me better. No one's ever what they seem.-- Shirley Manson
Last edited by sgrannel on Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:57 am; edited 3 times in total |
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 2567
Location: Wisonsin
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:00 am Post subject: |
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I'll be as completely brutally honest here as I can here, but keep in mind this is as true and unbiased as I can make it... so hopefully it can help.
In all of this... there is a quantity that is hard to define but seems lacking. There's kind of a joylessness in the way you are looking for a girl. You identify qualities that you need and qualities that you have, but finding a relationship is much more than all of that. You can find someone who is not into what you are into, a totally different social class... but still there is something attractive about her. And she could be the same for you, and you can do fun things together and challenge each other and grow together.
Finding a relationship isn't about matching up elements in a list and forming a contract to go forth and conquer the world.
You enjoy animated shows but there is a humorless quality to this search that I find hard to connect with that. Have you ever tried just having fun with a girl, saying or doing something that'll make her smile?
If you can have fun with a girl, and be part of the cause of that fun... then I don't think she'll care that you don't have money or anything else. She'll like the way she feels around you. You'll like the way you feel around her. All the other qualities in the world don't mean a thing if this core isn't there.
I think I've heard you talk about a girl who wanted to wait a predetermined time before getting married... and that was a problem. But really isn't worth the compromise? If she's great then I'd wait. Maybe she wasn't that great though.
Also, someone with AS isn't automatically going to understand you. In fact communication may be an even bigger barrier. It'll probably require even more work. I think most here have said that that requirement of AS only... is completely foolish.
I've seen you making threads and posts about this for a long time. It seems like there should be someone out there for you, but by being too picky about who you go out with... you'll never see her.
Also by focusing so much on qualities and the who you'll be dating, you ignore the just having fun part... the I'm going to have fun with girls around me outside of having a relationship part.
Maybe I'm way off base here... but you asked what's your main obstacle in this thread. And I'm trying to figure this stuff out.
I haven't been successful at finding a girl, so I'm no expert. But the whole way you are going about this sounds like a business or something... and I think that's the biggest obstacle of all. You've taken all the wonder and excitement out of finding someone... it seems.
I'm not sure if I'm really even understanding your situation that well... but this is how I see it.
_________________
I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
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Phagocyte
Low-Functioning NT
Joined: Oct 16, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1597
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Io wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | You should add to the poll 'drama queen'. |
LOL I'll second that. |
Don't behave like an ass.
But in all seriousness, TimTex, I recall you saying that you refuse to date NT's due to an NT girlfriend in highschool that cheated on you. While it's true that many NT's cheat, many also do not, and I think that if you removed this criteria, your situation would definitely improve. The vast majority of people are NT, not AS, and you would really do yourself a favor if you gave the female NT population another chance.
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I am neurotypical - I just want to find out more about Asperger's Syndrome. |
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Io
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 22, 2008
Posts: 63
Location: USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Phagocyte wrote: | | Io wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | You should add to the poll 'drama queen'. |
LOL I'll second that. |
Don't behave like an ass. |
My deepest apologies. |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 12:44 am Post subject: |
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Nothing will change.
No single, female, liberal Aspie will ever be interested in me.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 1851
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:26 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | Nothing will change.
No single, female, liberal Aspie will ever be interested in me. |
Sorry to hear that Tim.
So I guess there is no point in trying then.  |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| MR_BOGAN wrote: | | Tim_Tex wrote: | Nothing will change.
No single, female, liberal Aspie will ever be interested in me. |
Sorry to hear that Tim.
So I guess there is no point in trying then. |
But every time I start a correspondence with one, it lasts 2-3 days, then I never hear from them again.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 1851
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:12 am Post subject: |
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| So are you meeting women online or something? |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:29 am Post subject: |
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| MR_BOGAN wrote: | | So are you meeting women online or something? |
Yes.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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