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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3314
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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 Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject: Does anyone else not miss their partner? |
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My boyfriend always misses me when I am at work. But we see each other everyday. It's not like I went away on a business trip. I used to think it was just him but I didn't know this was normal till I asked my mother. I don't understand why people miss their partner or spouse when they are at work, they know they are going to see them again that day.
I don't even miss my boyfriend when he is at work. Why should I miss him if he is going to be home the next morning (he works graveyard) and I know I am going to see him again when he wakes up. I see him everyday. Is anyone else the same way about their partner or spouse?
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DWill
Raven
Joined: Dec 20, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 117
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I've never had a said partner to miss, however I'd agree with what you said. I'm pretty sure it would take a week or more before I started missing someone myself. |
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MacYavel83
Butterfly
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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In my opinion, it's a social convention to miss your partner when s/he is away, even for one hour. You're supposed to say "I miss you (already)" at the end of phone conversation, and "I've missed you" when you are back together.
I am quite sure that most people (in particular NTs) lie about it (which is the principle of most social conventions). |
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t0
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 356
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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| MacYavel83 wrote: | | I am quite sure that most people (in particular NTs) lie about it (which is the principle of most social conventions). |
My wife (NT) misses me. I'm not so sure after a day of work, but I think if we're apart for a couple days. I would say that it probably takes a couple days and then I miss her company as well. |
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machinex
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 10, 2007
Posts: 45
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 2:50 pm Post subject: |
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It seems to kick in after 2 or 3 days for me and for my girlfriend as well. Still neither of us says "I've missed you" or "I miss you." It's handled more like "heh... not seeing you for more than 2 or 3 days kinda sucks, doesn't it?" Response: "Yeah... it does."
I suppose it's the same thing in different words, but both of us prefer to avoid typical romantic cliches. |
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gitchel
Blue Jay
Joined: Aug 21, 2007
Age: 54
Posts: 84
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: Re: Does anyone else not miss their partner? |
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| Spokane_Girl wrote: | | My boyfriend always misses me when I am at work. But we see each other everyday. It's not like I went away on a business trip. I used to think it was just him but I didn't know this was normal till I asked my mother. I don't understand why people miss their partner or spouse when they are at work, they know they are going to see them again that day. |
Well, it’s not so much that I do or don’t anticipate seeing my spouse later in the day. When I feel like I’m missing her, it’s because the hormonal changes that occur when I’m near her are so pronounced. It’s sort of like what happens when your allergy medication wears off. After a while you start to feel symptoms. When I’m away from my wife, I start to run low on oxytocin or something 
Of course, after longer periods of time, like a week or so, it becomes a major lifestyle change. Since I depend on her for so much of my activities and daily communication outside myself, I start to withdraw from the world. Not the worst thing, perhaps, but it does make life a lot less dimensional. After a while I start to ponder why I bother.
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zghost
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 602
Location: Southeast Texas
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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| When I'm at work, no. I never even thought about this. But when I'm at home and he's at work, then sometimes. |
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Pikachu
CB operator, Callsign 26-TM-082
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Joined: Mar 25, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 1485
Location: On top of a hill next to a golf course (0 golf balls have broken the back windows on the house)
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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it's normal for me to miss my partner when I cannot see her/speak to her, it's love and affection
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veruniel
Velociraptor
Joined: May 20, 2008
Posts: 432
Location: England
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| My old boyfriend and I met only once or twice a week. Once a week was a little too long a time apart for me, and I'd start missing him after three or four days. But if I saw him twice a week, I was completely satisfied. |
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juliekitty
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 26, 2006
Posts: 1710
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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One of the reasons I said yes, is that he leaves me alone when I need him to.
I do miss him, but it's good because I can get my stuff done. Then I can fully enjoy being with him.
I also like anticipation. |
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viska
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 27, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 743
Location: Everytime you close your eyes: Lies, lies.
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| My ex-GF from a while back would ask me "Did you miss me?" too much. Apparently, "No, it's only been a few days and I like being alone sometimes." isn't the answer she wanted. |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11378
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 12:27 am Post subject: |
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No he's still in jail thank whatever. He seemed like a nice guy but became controlling so no...
Everytime he wrote how much he missed me, I never sent anything or came to visit him.
I was amazed of my experience at the Women's Shelter. Here these women came with kids and all and violent stories yet they kept saying how much they missed their man. One girl I knew was covered in bruises with a little girl who screamed and cried whenever she made her daughter talk to her dad on the phone. It really irked me and then she got kicked b/c she eventually told him where she was!! 
So maybe this is an AS trait I don't know but I'm not saying in comparison that I'm better than any of them but it doesn't take an expert to see how domestic abuse affects the kids.
Sorry I guess I went way off topic. 
Anyway no.
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MacYavel83
Butterfly
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 5:28 am Post subject: |
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| Pikachu wrote: | | it's normal for me to miss my partner when I cannot see her/speak to her, it's love and affection |
I may not have been clear enough.
As everybody does (I suppose), I do miss my girlfriend when I cannot see her.
But what I consider as a social convention, is to miss someone after, let's say, one hour, or one day.
(as usual, sorry for my English, I am not a fluent speaker). |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6201
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| When I was with someone, no I didn't miss them. |
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Tim_Tex
At one with the world
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20357
Location: Wherever I want to be
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 11:14 pm Post subject: |
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I don't miss my first partner (she cheated on me). I am still friends with my second partner, but I occasionally feel guilt about ending that relationship.
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