 
Support Wrong Planet Awareness!
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
miserylovescompany
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 08, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 333
Location: UK
|
 Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:24 pm Post subject: If Aspies know their interests put people off.... |
 |
|
I know this thread will probably get flamed, but I have to ask, if you know your obsessions and interests are partly behind your social difficulties then why do still flaunt them?
I know some of my obsessions are not generaly acceptable, so I keep them only for myself and the very few people who understand me. I have met other aspies who know their obsessions ether bore people, creep them out or just annoy them, yet they carry on like it's ok and moan that they have no social life.
Just a thought. |
|
| Back to top |
|
acannon
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 29, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 131
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I honestly don't care if people don't like my interests or if they're not socially acceptable (I don't mean like they're disgusting or perverted, just boring to most people). They're my interests. If that person isn't interested in it and it bores them and they decide not to talk to me because of it, who cares? I probably don't have anything in common with that person, anyhow. I'm not one of those people who moan about not having a social life. It's not really a priority to me. I don't think anyone should stop being interested in something just because people consider it boring. Your own personal interests are way more important to who a person is than how they are socially, IMO. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Bart21
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 29, 2006
Posts: 648
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I learned some years ago that they put people off.
So i pretty much don't talk about them in most social context.
Only about those that border the mainstream interests, do i talk with people who i can somewhat connect with about them.
NT's tend to switch topics they talk about at a crazy speed wich we have a difficult time doing.
It's a pain when your talking about something interesting and they are distracted a few seconds later, so they start talking about something totally random.
I can learn to cope with that and not keep on about the same thing, but i can't say that it feels right to keep switching randomly. |
|
| Back to top |
|
miserylovescompany
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 08, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 333
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Yes, I agree, but there is a group among us who moan about having "no mates" yet they know this is the reason, thats the group I'm aiming this at in a way.
Good reply though  |
|
| Back to top |
|
deep-techno
Star Power Maniac
Joined: Jan 08, 2006
Posts: 1047
Location: Swindon, England.
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| acannon wrote: | | I honestly don't care if people don't like my interests or if they're not socially acceptable (I don't mean like they're disgusting or perverted, just boring to most people). They're my interests. If that person isn't interested in it and it bores them and they decide not to talk to me because of it, who cares? I probably don't have anything in common with that person, anyhow. I'm not one of those people who moan about not having a social life. It's not really a priority to me. I don't think anyone should stop being interested in something just because people consider it boring. Your own personal interests are way more important to who a person is than how they are socially, IMO. |
Amen.
_________________
If the phrase "you are what you eat" is correct, technically we must all be cannibals. |
|
| Back to top |
|
craola
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 21, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 337
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
They are the only things I can talk about.
I don't bring them up, but when they come up which my two more accepted do, then I start and then I can't tell when to stop. I would never talk about some of my interests to anyone. |
|
| Back to top |
|
westernwild
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 236
Location: The wild, wild West
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| miserylovescompany wrote: | Yes, I agree, but there is a group among us who moan about having "no mates" yet they know this is the reason, thats the group I'm aiming this at in a way.
Good reply though |
If it's for "mates" then why should you keep a major part of you "to yourself?" You want to be with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are and that means ALL of who you are, and not who they think you should be or what THEY want. Relationships never work if one doesn't accept the other for who and what they are and allow them to be themselves.
It too me until my early forties to find someone who loved and accepted me exactly for who and what I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If it came down to not being myself and hiding who I am versus being single the rest of my life, well, then, I'd have been single the rest of my life. But hubby is also a "misfit", so to speak, so he knows exactly what I've dealt with and will continue to deal with. Never be with someone who doesn't truly accept you or who is always complaining about some aspects of you that you just can't help and never hide yourself just to be with someone.
_________________
Queen of the anti-FAAAS. FAAAS does NOT speak for me and many other families!!
Life is not about waiting out storms, but learning to dance in the rain-Anonymous |
|
| Back to top |
|
LoveableNerd
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Kentucky, USA
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:40 pm Post subject: Re: If Aspies know their interests put people off.... |
|
|
| miserylovescompany wrote: | I know this thread will probably get flamed, but I have to ask, if you know your obsessions and interests are partly behind your social difficulties then why do still flaunt them?
I know some of my obsessions are not generaly acceptable, so I keep them only for myself and the very few people who understand me. I have met other aspies who know their obsessions ether bore people, creep them out or just annoy them, yet they carry on like it's ok and moan that they have no social life.
Just a thought. |
Perhaps they don't do well with small talk, and don't know that much about things the masses find interesting, like sports or celebrity gossip. It's either talk about their obsessions, which they feel confident in their knowledge of, or not talk at all. Not talking at all causes social difficulties as well.
_________________
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.---George Bernard Shaw
8th Cmdmt: Thou Shalt Not Steal. |
|
| Back to top |
|
catspurr
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 781
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I don't mean to flaunt them. 
Why do other people annoy me with their obsessive interests with celebrities and the latest fashion? They know I don't care much about it. Why is it only me? |
|
| Back to top |
|
LoveableNerd
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Kentucky, USA
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| catspurr wrote: | I don't mean to flaunt them.
Why do other people annoy me with their obsessive interests with celebrities and the latest fashion? They know I don't care much about it. Why is it only me? |
_________________
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.---George Bernard Shaw
8th Cmdmt: Thou Shalt Not Steal. |
|
| Back to top |
|
krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Part of the problem is thatwhen I was younger, I couldn't always tell that someone wasn't interested and thought that if they only understood the topic in more depth, that they would be interested...When you like something, it is difficult to understnd that anyone could be bored with it.
Even knowing that I don't care about guitars and my BF doesn't care about WP or AS...we each share little bits of our interests because that is what happens to be in our thoughts aat the time. We have learned not to "go on and on" about it...but when it is 90% of what you are thinking/learning about, it can sometimes be the only way to connect.
That said, I also know that I would have only met some of the interestng people I have by talking about my special interests and finding that they are shared by someone else. If we had all just stuck with talking about how much a class sucks or a teacher or some movie star or sports team...I would have never met the interesting people who I shared common interests with.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
|
| Back to top |
|
2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4587
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| LoveableNerd wrote: | | catspurr wrote: | I don't mean to flaunt them.
Why do other people annoy me with their obsessive interests with celebrities and the latest fashion? They know I don't care much about it. Why is it only me? |
|
BTW MY interests just start to slip out. It might be using a scene in a movie to illustrate a point, talking about how a person got where they are(Not actually an interest, but I know a LOT here), electronics, computers, etc.... And if someone doesn't want to listen, hey, **I TRIED**! They can REMAIN ignorant.
BTW, catspurr ALSO forgot about SPORTS!
Interesting, as a "gifted" "girl" is being "discriminated" against because of "sex" and/or because she is "too good", etc..... If someone starts talking to me about THAT moron, they will get an earful! You see, SHE wants to play with BOYS that are SUPPOSEDLY her CHRONOLOGICAL age, and THEY LET HER!
They don't want to lose, and they have to forfeit because the other team won't accept them because they are cheating. She is over a foot taller! Her physical age certainly isn't 12. Her only "gift" is that she is closer to the basket! But people talk like she is some genius or something, and the boys simply don't want to lose to a girl(She is taller than MANY WOMEN!)! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Hodor
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 834
Location: On a dumb island
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I used to talk about my interests all the time. I would bore my family members to death, in fact. Over the last few years, I began to realise that they weren't interested in the intricate details of an insect's breathing system, or the fluctuation of the distribution of the Comma butterfly.
Unfortunately, I've gone too far the other way. Since I've become so used to shutting up about my interests, I don't talk about them much at all anymore. I need to find a happy medium, so that I can say enough about my interests for people to take a vague interest in my conversation, without boring them or sending them to sleep.
_________________
ACHTUNG all WP'ers...I will not be online from Aug 18th for a while due to a house move. I'm still alive and well but might not have internet access for some time. So long!
[I have updated my blawg.]
Sprecst žu englisc? |
|
| Back to top |
|
9CatMom
Ailurophile
Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Posts: 5515
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I have learned to keep my interests to myself. I know that most people wouldn't be interested in the same things I like. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Shelby
Deinonychus
Joined: May 01, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 336
|
| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 8:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
miserylovescompany I agree with you, I think for some people though it's extremely hard when your brain is stuck on one subject to NOT talk about it. I've told my Aspie father a million times that share trading is NOT interesting, I even mimick hanging myself when he talks about it. But he won't stop. I think some Aspies don't have enough empathy to even understand the concept that the other person is not interested in that. Because like, if I'M interested in share trading, EVERYONE is because it's the most interesting thing in the universe, duh.
Hodor: I'm just like you, I used to bla bla bla about my obsessions until people couldnt' stand me then I stopped completely. To the point that once I was with a group of actual FANS of one of my obsessions, but I had trained myself out of talking so much that it was hard to talk to THEM! And yes, like you I've gone the other way. I don't want to talk at all in case someone thinks I'm obsessed. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
