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Jonny
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 10, 2005
Posts: 456
Location: London, UK
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 Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:25 pm Post subject: Facebook makes me depressed... |
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... I see all my old friends on there who have got on with their lives. They are in relationships, they basically have a great life, look happy.
My life is just nothing and it makes me sad.
I try to break out but it just ends up failing.
I mean I AM content with my life ... as long as it doesn't get complicated. But deep down I want so much more.
I feel like im stuck and I wanna get out, what to do? |
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rottenlittleboys
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 14, 2008
Posts: 69
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Psst, I will tell you a secret.
Their lives are not perfect. They have jobs they hate, neighbors who party all night long, cars that either won't start or are sucking nearly every penny they have.
I can't tell you what to do, but you can.
Do what makes you happy and if it takes you time to figure it all out, fine.  |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 50
Posts: 2724
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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Frame the problem; What makes me stuck? Is it yourself, your friends, family, monetary situation, school?
Analyze how you get 'stuck' - the way you react to things, the way people react to you, etc?
Theorize: what would make things change? what is possible to change? Why should things change, and what shouldn't change?
Plan; How can I make things change? What stands in my way. If I can't change the situation, maybe I can change the circumstances. (I do this a lot at work. If something stands in the way of progress, I'll route around it...
Test: see if the things you did actually changed things. The important thing is; you will make mistakes. Everyone does. What you must do is learn from them (if I had a nickel for every mistake I'd made and 'learned' from...I'd be rich..
don't know if this helps, but it sort of does for me. |
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Josie
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Posts: 556
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: |
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You need to find your nince.
Do what makes you happy that is the true key to happiness- not money, friends, houses or cars. My dogs make me happy and it is simple and traveling- seeing new things and experiencing them. Even if you are exploring your own backyard.
People don't get great lives by sitting back and doing nothing. I do know how you feel though. |
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Josie
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Posts: 556
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: |
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You need to find your nince.
Do what makes you happy that is the true key to happiness- not money, friends, houses or cars. My dogs make me happy and it is simple and traveling- seeing new things and experiencing them. Even if you are exploring your own backyard.
People don't get great lives by sitting back and doing nothing. I do know how you feel though. |
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JWRed
Toucan
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 282
Location: Malibu, California
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:32 am Post subject: |
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| rottenlittleboys wrote: | Psst, I will tell you a secret.
Their lives are not perfect. They have jobs they hate, neighbors who party all night long, cars that either won't start or are sucking nearly every penny they have.
I can't tell you what to do, but you can.
Do what makes you happy and if it takes you time to figure it all out, fine. |
Guess what. Their lives are nowhere near perfect, but they are a lot happier than most people on this board. Just because they have problems that they complain about does not mean they are not happy. |
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samantca
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 459
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:42 am Post subject: |
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| I feel the same way about Facebook. I cant stand to hang around there, cause i get depressed every time. So i just dont go there... |
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Brittany2907
Self-Proclaimed Animal Lover
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 3729
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:31 am Post subject: Re: Facebook makes me depressed... |
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| Jonny wrote: | ... I see all my old friends on there who have got on with their lives. They are in relationships, they basically have a great life, look happy.
My life is just nothing and it makes me sad.
I try to break out but it just ends up failing.
I mean I AM content with my life ... as long as it doesn't get complicated. But deep down I want so much more.
I feel like im stuck and I wanna get out, what to do? |
I don't have a facebook account but I feel something similar to you when i'm on bebo.com, as I have an account there. I don't feel sad when I see people who I used to know at high school on there, but really jealous. Even though I say that I don't want to be "normal", I want to experience the things that most people my age do.
I feel the same way as you...stuck. In all honesty, I'm not sure what advice to give you, but in saying that I know what your going through I hope it makes you realize that you aren't the only one with those feelings.
_________________
The hero is no braver than the ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
- Unknown Author.
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Shelby
Deinonychus
Joined: May 01, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:37 am Post subject: |
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| I know what you mean, I went to a school reunion and everyone has grown up but not me! |
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zen_mistress
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 980
Location: aotearoa
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:17 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, everyone my age is married, has babies or has their own successful career, business, cheese factory or something.
One guy from my classes at school is on TV. I would be jealous of his success (not that I want to be on TV) if it was anyone else but him but I am strangely happy for him, he was so shy and quiet at school.
Yeah I feel a bit behind my peers in many respects, and it gets me down a lot. I guess I am living my life in a different order to them, reaching all my milestones at totally different ages... it is hard not to compare myself to them but I have to learn not to.
_________________
I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
~ Albert Einstein |
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Jonny
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 10, 2005
Posts: 456
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:22 am Post subject: |
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Thanks everyone for the advice.
I think I should stay away from FB. I was a little quick to type last night, I mean my life is not completely 'nothing' as I had said.
I just want to be normal. But taking into account of what you guys have been saying I realise that I am not normal and I shouldnt try to be someone I am not. I mean I am doing a lot of things which I want to do which makes me happy. But it doesn't stop me wanting more. |
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firelily
Hummingbird
Joined: May 09, 2008
Age: 32
Posts: 20
Location: Asia
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| on facebook and other networking websites, I've always had the impression that my friends / acquaintances are trying to paint a rosy picture of their lives for everyone to see. you know, photos of homes, kids, dogs, picture perfect. even if there are cracks under the surface. after all, who wants to admit to all the people one has ever known that in many ways he/ she is a failure? |
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Vexcalibur
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 610
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:36 am Post subject: |
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Yeah it was the same to me the other day.
My conclussion was: good for them. I am not like them, I have had a very different life and circumstances and I know that right now I am trying very hard, so let them live their perfect lives, I'll find mine one day.
_________________
Mankind is not evil; itīs just misinformed ~ Charles Xavier |
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drybones
Toucan
Joined: May 15, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 250
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:02 am Post subject: |
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"Facebook makes me depressed..."
my advice would be to just stay away from FB as well. i too find it kind of hard to not compare myself to peers, sites like FB just encourage that kind of thinking for me which can lead to feeling depressed about myself.
besides, WP has far more interesting people than any social-networking site IMO  |
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Whisperer
Velociraptor
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 458
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| Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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| firelily wrote: | | on facebook and other networking websites, I've always had the impression that my friends / acquaintances are trying to paint a rosy picture of their lives for everyone to see. you know, photos of homes, kids, dogs, picture perfect. even if there are cracks under the surface. after all, who wants to admit to all the people one has ever known that in many ways he/ she is a failure? |
I get that feeling from the blogs I see - particularly in the American Psycho environment my career forces me to dwell in.
Still, I'm far behind in almost every conceivable way - and that sucks; as I probably should be aiming for a completely different path in life (for most of the things they have and I don't; I'd still feel like an idiot if I had them). |
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