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aspiewoman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2008
Posts: 47
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 Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:42 pm Post subject: ASPIE MOM NEEDS HELP UNDERSTANDING ASPERGER TEENAGER |
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 WE USED TO BE CLOSE, BUT NOW HE'S REALLY INTO TECHNOLOGY-WAY BEYOND ME. I'M ALSO AN ASPIE, BUT A FEMALE ASPIE WHO DOES NOT OBSESSESS OVER TECHNOLOGY. WHAT IS IT THAT 14 YEAR OLD ASPIES WANT FROM THEIR PARENTS? I LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY, BUT I'M AFRAID BECAUSE I'M REMARRIED W/ 2 OTHER CHILDREN 3 AND 1 THAT HE FEELS LIKE HE'S NOT PART OF THIS NEW "FAMILY." HE USED TO BE VERY CLOSE TO MY HUSBAND A TECHNO DUDE, UNTIL WE HAD OUR CHILDREN AND HE SAID THOSE ARE HIS KIDS. HE LIVES W/ HIS FATHER NOW AND HE DOESN'T CLL OR E-MAIL OR KEEP IN TOUCH, UYNLESS HE'S TOLD TO. 
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. Albert Einstein |
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z0rp
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 15
Posts: 367
Location: New York, USA
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Can you please not type with the 'Caps Lock' key on? Thanks. |
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aspiewoman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2008
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:01 pm Post subject: yes |
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i just found out what it means. i had no idea. i had no intentions of "yelling." it just happened to be on. do ou have any advice on my on?
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. Albert Einstein |
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Alea
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 22
Location: NC... blaarrg
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:12 pm Post subject: |
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well, i'm 17 now, and i have to say that when i was 14 i was so far into paying attention to my horse and going on internet i wasn't very talkative to my family. My boyfriend is the same way, 'bout technology and stuff. I just gotta let him have his quiet computer time when he needs it.
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Autism, yo
www.sunridgepress.com
Gets sad n' all, y'know, when there's nothing to do but sit around and get anxious. That is the story of how this account came to be and how i broke my old CD player. well, actually, it died in a fit of rage but... yea |
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Selo
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 16, 2007
Age: 14
Posts: 375
Location: Sandy Spring, MD
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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The reason you're not as close as you used to be is because he's growing up.
I'm 14 myself, and I know the thing all 14-year-olds want from their parents, AS or not, is to be left alone. Don't smother him with hugs and don't nag him about every little thing he does wrong. Don't question his every move, don't tell him what to do, and don't be overprotective. I'm NT and I wish my parents would do all that. All he needs is food, clothing, and a roof over his head. He doesn't need any affection, because from the way he's been acting, he clearly doesn't need it.
If you are a doting mother, you will make it worse for him, not better. Teenagers should only get attention from their parents when they ask for it - it's when kids start becoming independent and evolving into their own persons, and they don't need parents to treat them like babies.
This may seem like a hard thing for you to do, but it's not your job to hold his hand anymore.
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The third installment of A MOMENT WITH NTS is now posted on my WP blog! Read it there and comment please =] |
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aspiewoman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2008
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject: thank you so much |
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I appreciate everyone's input-it helps. I do overwelm him and I should no bttr being asperger's myself and wanting my time to myself. thank you. Keep the honesty coming, I appreciate it.
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. Albert Einstein |
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Swedishaspie
Butterfly
Joined: Dec 17, 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Well, If he dosn´t call, do you? It´s kinda your job as a parent and all.
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Humans are doomed to freedom - Sartre |
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ScherezadeJM
Hummingbird
Joined: Jul 13, 2008
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:25 am Post subject: |
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I am a 16 year old (self diagnosed) Aspie with an Aspie dad who has a new family I don't live with, so it's a very similar situation...I am sure that it is not that your son does not want to be with you, it's just that it isn't a conscious thought (at least, that's how it is with me). I obsess over my obsessions, and don't really think about much else. My father is the one who has to take the innitiative: he calls me at least once every week, always at the same time, so that I make a routine out of it. If your son KNOWS that you are going to call him on a Tuesday at 5 PM, for example, he'll get used to it. In fact, if you end up not calling one day he'll probably call you to see what's wrong! Whenever my dad can't call I end up calling to see what disrupted our father-daughter time! At his age, your son is discovering a lot of new things and hobbies, it is normal for him to place things that he takes for granted (such as family) in the back of his head.
I hope this helps!
ps--his distancing from your husband after you had your children might very well mean that he respects that they are HIS children, and that he does not expect the same treatment. I woudln't know, I hate my stepmother.
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The grain of sugar in your salt-shaker |
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voss749
Raven
Joined: Apr 04, 2006
Posts: 112
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:18 am Post subject: |
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Scher,
Why do you hate your stepmother? |
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Tai
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:07 am Post subject: |
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I'm sort of going through something similar. My mom isn't an aspie but anyway I feel like I've lost my connection with her lately. Mostly because she doesn't really make an effort to spent time with me.
Maybe sometimes he wants to be treated as a normal teenager, not an aspie. I know I feel that way a lot.
Oops, I didn't realize the topic was a month old. 
Good luck,
Tai.
| Selo wrote: | | All he needs is food, clothing, and a roof over his head. He doesn't need any affection, because from the way he's been acting, he clearly doesn't need it. |
I don't agree.. Being a good parent isn't just about feeding and clothing your child.
Everyone needs a little affection and love, imo. Yes, you don't need to hug him every time you see him, but letting him know you care about him once in a while is nice.
It might not mean much to him now but maybe he'll appreciate it one day. |
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aspiewoman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2008
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:59 pm Post subject: keep the advice coming |
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thank you everyone. keep the advice coming.
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. Albert Einstein |
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ScherezadeJM
Hummingbird
Joined: Jul 13, 2008
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:02 am Post subject: |
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| voss749 wrote: | Scher,
Why do you hate your stepmother? |
for the simple reason that she thinks that, because I'm an Aspie, I'm stupid, that I will never get any friends, and that I will end up begging for money in a street corner (since I won't be able to get a job). Also, she has tried to put my mum in jail repeatedly, because she says that my reading so much means I am depressed and trying to hide from the real world, and that that is my mum's fault...
does that seem like a good enough reason?
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