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Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1625
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 Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:34 am Post subject: |
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I wish I could get some more productive obsessions, but most of them are useless.
It doesn't matter if they are important to me or not... most aren't. They are still obsession tho, so I have no choice but to feed the beast inside my head. I really don't think I have a choice anymore. I get up in the morning, I obsess. I am better than I used to be, but I dunno how much balance I'll ever have. |
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youknowandy
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 97
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:38 am Post subject: |
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| it kinda stinks to go "oh man, I just wasted four hours of my day" every now and then. |
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sorgenfri
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 93
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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I am an internett junkie. My obsessions change often, but when I am obsessed with something I can spend the whole day (If I have time off from work) searching around the web to find information about one certain topic. Luckily,I am a teacher and have long holidays  |
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dadman
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 18, 2008
Posts: 87
Location: way too close to Pat Robertson
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not diagnosed but I sure do get this obsession thing. I get going on something and can't stop thinking about it. Mine are sometimes in the form of some new "thing", like an invention, other times its a topic I'm fascinated with. Either one can hijack my mind to the point its hard to focus on my job or anything else. Yes, after I've spent hours on these, and I do get a little ticked with myself afterward.
I've tried to pick up only the obsessions I could use productively somehow, like to pay the bills. The problem is I'll move on to another one before I can carry out anything serious. I've designed and built prototypes for ideas, filled up endless pages with drawings and thoughts, conducted my own patent search, but have yet to make a dime with anything. Some of these things have been very promising, and well-thought-out, but I've dropped them. I know I enjoy creating them as much as anything else.
I used to go to bed thinking about whatever it was I was building, "testing" things in my head. It energizes me. In the last few years though, I've had to forego that kind of devotion and try to stay focused on other responsibilities. It's hard to do, and I hate that it makes me feel robbed when I can't pursue my obsessions. On the hand if I indulge I end up feeling terrible guilt. Am I sick? 
_________________
My software's
not compatible with you - Neil Young,
"Pictures in My Mind" |
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youknowandy
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 97
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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| since you're handle is "dadman", I'm going to assume that you are a father with a lot more responsibilities than I have for now. if i'm totally off, never mind me. during my struggle to decide on having a family of my own, I've pondered how I could cope with less time available to relax while delving into whatever obsession i happen to have at the moment. i'd like to think that i have strong family values and have an idea of how important it is to spend time with the wife and kids and do the things that a dad needs to do. i'd also need to take care of myself and give myself the alone time with my non-productive desires I need to keep functioning. coming up with a strategy or safe routine that allows for both seems to be necessary for survival of sanity and family. i wish i knew for sure if this was something i could do. i'm hoping that giving oneself maybe one or two hours a day to pursue the things that the brain wants to chase is sufficient to keep all the engines of life running. i don't know if it works that way though. |
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dadman
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 18, 2008
Posts: 87
Location: way too close to Pat Robertson
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| youknowandy wrote: | | since you're handle is "dadman", I'm going to assume that you are a father with a lot more responsibilities than I have for now. if i'm totally off, never mind me. during my struggle to decide on having a family of my own, I've pondered how I could cope with less time available to relax while delving into whatever obsession i happen to have at the moment. i'd like to think that i have strong family values and have an idea of how important it is to spend time with the wife and kids and do the things that a dad needs to do. i'd also need to take care of myself and give myself the alone time with my non-productive desires I need to keep functioning. coming up with a strategy or safe routine that allows for both seems to be necessary for survival of sanity and family. i wish i knew for sure if this was something i could do. i'm hoping that giving oneself maybe one or two hours a day to pursue the things that the brain wants to chase is sufficient to keep all the engines of life running. i don't know if it works that way though. |
You're right on the money with regard to my being a dad and you're already one solid step ahead of where I was at your age. I have two sons, both on the spectrum, one an aspie. Probably the most important thing I can tell you is that your partner in this venture will have a lot to do with how successful your efforts are. If she shares your desire to make it work, it can work. I was clueless about why I was the way I was until I was about 40, and its a wonder my wife didn't give up on me (she's the best!). It would have helped tremendously to know I had aspie traits back then, I could have made more sense of things instead of trying to justify to myself and others why I behaved the way I did.
Anyway, kids are life-changing and time-consuming, but if you like kids at all, you'll have no problem devoting enough time to your own kids. I know this because I managed to do it, despite starting out kid-ignorant. You'll still find time for your own needs, in fact you have to, everyone does. Your wife will need time to, and if you give her time she'll look out for you. I think its toughest on an Aspie dad for the first year or so when kids aren't yet talking. But when they start getting older, it can be fantastic. Suddenly you've got someone who wants to hear what you're interested in, and wants to learn. Also, you'll find you can incorporate your obsessions into your kids lives. I did it by inventing new toys, building models, and helping with school projects. I also got to relive those years of fascination with gadgets. I believe aspie dads can be great dads, especially when we practice patience. If you had a good dad, like I did, it helps a lot to model yourself after him. If your dad wasn't that great, keep someone in mind whom you think is a good dad. Because of my dad, I knew to do things that wouldn't have come natural to me otherwise, and I knew these things because I remembered how they helped me. OK, I'm probably going way beyond what you wanted to know, forgive me.
I know I said I feel "robbed" sometimes, due to having so many responsibilities and so little time. The responsibilities I was referring to however, aren't the boys, I feel happy to be with them because we share so many interests. My wife and I have had to take in relatives who needed care (parents) and when you have kids struggling through school with disabilities and your relatives are constantly telling you what you're doing wrong, it gets stressful. I've also had to travel some for work, and go back to school at night to earn a degree, which has demanded a lot of my time. Those are the time bandits that get to me. I honestly believe that, unless you're a totally obsessed Einstein or Edison with little interest in anything besides your own interests, you can adapt to dadness and be happy.
_________________
My software's
not compatible with you - Neil Young,
"Pictures in My Mind" |
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youknowandy
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 97
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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hey, it's good to hear that things have gone well for you.  i enjoyed reading about your experiences and take on things. |
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dadman
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 18, 2008
Posts: 87
Location: way too close to Pat Robertson
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:03 am Post subject: |
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| youknowandy wrote: | | hey, it's good to hear that things have gone well for you. i enjoyed reading about your experiences and take on things. |
Thanks. I know I'm little long-winded, but i appreciated the chance to say that. I wish you the best.
_________________
My software's
not compatible with you - Neil Young,
"Pictures in My Mind" |
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gypsyRN
Sea Gull
Joined: Feb 25, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 210
Location: Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:09 am Post subject: |
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I'm not quite a hoarder, but I have trouble throwing stuff away because of the knowledge contained therein. For example:
things from vacations contain where/when I went, who I was with, the feelings, the smells, the sights, etc.
prices tags tell me how much I paid for a certain item of clothing at that time, its worth
movie tickets--this was how I spent Xhour and Xminutes on this particular day
favorite clothing, because I remember what I did while wearing it
old things which belonged to other people, because they "might have stories"
things I "might need/use one day"
newspaper/magazine articles and recipes...because you never know when you might need to look that up
I know it's a problem, I know it's not normal, but I also know I don't feel quite "right" without my "items". I refer to them as my items in speech. I need to place these items here...I'm just getting my items. I think I feel as though I'll lose something if I don't have the items, or I might forget something and not be able to remember without their help.
As far as other obsessions though, they have (thankfully) been interrupted by other things. Genealogy, certain animal species, architecture, the list goes on...but LIFE has gotten in the way of most of them, so they tapered off or were forced to stop. |
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deathchibi
anime freak of nature!!!!
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Age: 117
Posts: 6872
Location: earth
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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if my obsessions were taken away from me i would cease to exsist 
_________________
I shall rule the world with an iron spork!!!!
me fail english! thats unpossible!
4th sin: sloth. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20859
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:23 am Post subject: |
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My obsessions are so important that I only date people who have those same interests.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Starr
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 18, 2006
Posts: 4253
Location: the misty mountain
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:41 am Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | My obsessions are so important that I only date people who have those same interests. |
Do you Tim? It must be a good feeling to be able to share them with someone else. I've never met anyone else with a peacock obsession. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20859
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Actually, I'm talking about animated sitcoms.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Starr
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 18, 2006
Posts: 4253
Location: the misty mountain
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Right I didn't phrase that very well, What I meant to say was that I've never met anyone with the same obsessions as myself. "Communication let me down" as the song goes, hehe. |
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