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AutisticMalcontent
Velociraptor
Joined: May 30, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 443
Location: In the annoying and painful realm of reality :P
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 Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:04 pm Post subject: A question about Autism and God |
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Ok, well to start off, I'll start off and tell you I have P.D.D-NOS, the most mildest form of autism a person can have. Now what does this have to do with God? I am a Christian and I believe in Jesus/God, however throughout my life, I've been infuriated about being autistic. I mean I feel vulnerable and weak around my fellow peers and others because I can't understand them emotionally, which makes me furious later because I feel so "submissiveness" and "weak" around other people. They never know, I disguise it well, but I HATE feeling that way People tell me that isn't a weakness, but I believe it is.
I often find myself growing furious at God, because I feel He was given me a "curse" (autism) and that He has made me weak around other people when I should be strong and confident, like other neurotypicals I see. After blowing up at Him, I come to my senses and ask forgiveness for being angry at Him. But I want to know, do you guys feel the same way? Do you find yourself becoming angry at God because you think He has given you something you never asked for and something that inhibits your social interactions with other? I'm just curious, thanks for your replies. I consider you guys brothers and sisters in affliction and I have more respect for you than I do my neurotypical brethren. |
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Orwell
Outer Party Member
Joined: Aug 09, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 8369
Location: Room 101
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:25 am Post subject: |
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I'm happy with who I am, and certainly don't view autism as a "curse." If it were, then you would just be into the infamous "problem of evil." Autism has its ups and downs, and on balance I like being autistic. Anyways, the fact that my life or your life has not gone perfectly doesn't refute the existence of a loving God. At least, not for me.
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WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 52
Posts: 4314
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:35 am Post subject: |
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| I think we're the chosen people. All that stuff about being as little children, without guile etc, you know it sounds like us, a lot. And then there's all that stuff about 'remember if the world hates you, before it hated you, it hated me" or whatever he says (not a bible scholar), that seems like it's about us too. I can live with the problems if it means I get out of here in the end. |
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Speckles
Velociraptor
Joined: May 03, 2008
Posts: 448
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a bit confused as to why you say "come to my senses". What's wrong with being vunerable with God? Even Jesus questioned - Father, why have you forsaken me?
It's normal to feel angry at life, about how unfair it is; everyone feels that from time to time. It's alright to share your pain with God, because her love is unconditional. I don't understand why my life is the way it is, but I trust in God and reach for him when I am in pain. I decided some time ago that there is no shame in this; my tirades are in their own way a form of prayer, a way of opening myself up to God.
I don't know if that makes any sense, but it brings me comfort.
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I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. |
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RustyShackleford
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 481
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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I would just like to point out to begin with that I am trying to be in no way inflammatory by replying to this thread as it is something to which I have given a lot of thought.
After much soul searching I found that I just can't cope with the idea of an omnipotent creator who is simultaneously in charge of every atom in the universe. I just can't get on with that concept for the same reason I cannot believe in ghosts; if I thought there is someone watching me all of the time I would literally go insane.
The idea that God created NT people but somehow neglected to furnish me with the basic operating system for life is also a concept that would drive me insane if I believed it. The realisation that I am not willing to put my faith in any text which has been re-translated and mis-construed over however many thousand years was liberating but daunting at the same time. How can I believe in the word of God when it is translated into the often imperfect word of man?
I admit that it's a pretty bleak place at the moment but I feel as though I have dropped through enough planes of realisation to have reached rock bottom at this point and this is the place I need to build up from. If God is the anthropomorphisation of human potential and scriptures are designed to channel and direct people in the right directions for the good of a society then that makes a lot of sense. I just find it to be a rather blunt instrument when you consider the wealth of human diversity that is now recognised.
I need to do a lot more soul searching and rebuilding in my life. Being angry at my creator is not conducive to building up my life to the point where I can be happy with who I am. The greater good is often not that great for everyone. |
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Awesomelyglorious
Destroyer of worlds, reaver of souls
Joined: Dec 18, 2005
Posts: 8442
Location: Omnipresent
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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| I do hold some level of contempt for any creator and the world for my condition. I have had some great successes, I can probably blend into an NT society very well, but I remember the hells I have been through... |
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ClosetAspy
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Age: 53
Posts: 384
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:02 pm Post subject: Re: A question about Autism and God |
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| AutisticMalcontent wrote: |
I often find myself growing furious at God, because I feel He was given me a "curse" (autism) and that He has made me weak around other people when I should be strong and confident, like other neurotypicals I see. After blowing up at Him, I come to my senses and ask forgiveness for being angry at Him. But I want to know, do you guys feel the same way? Do you find yourself becoming angry at God because you think He has given you something you never asked for and something that inhibits your social interactions with other? |
Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I have felt myself cursed, even though I didn't know the name of the curse. Now I do. I once was a Christian (I was raised one) and I struggled for years trying to understand what was going on with my life, and getting no answers. I do not think neurotypical believers can fully understand the spiritual crises we go through and why believing in a loving God is such a struggle. I agree with the person who said they preferred not to believe in a God who gave them a faulty operating system, they preferred to believe in nothing. That is where I am at today. I know I have said it before, but it was not until I turned away from looking to religion for answers and turned to science that I started finding the key to why things were happening to me. |
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Stix
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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My obsession has become looking into these things and trying to find an answer (an uphill battle, much?). Comparative philosophy and theology, I guess.
One thing I've found coming up a lot is the idea that humanity is made in the divine image. Maybe that means that God, for a moment, was/is just like me.
Contemplating that brings me some peace. Mull it over. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 59
Posts: 13216
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:18 am Post subject: |
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| RustyShackleford wrote: |
After much soul searching I found that I just can't cope with the idea of an omnipotent creator who is simultaneously in charge of every atom in the universe. |
I see God as every atom in the Universe, not something seperate from, or in charge of. . but as every atom in the universe, every nuculus, every proton and electron and all the space around each part.
Merle |
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TheRani
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 182
Location: Louisiana
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: |
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God gives everybody weaknesses and strengths. Some of them are just more noticeable than others. Our weaknesses make us rely more on God for help with stuff we can't handle alone. They also make it easier for us to give Him the credit when He gives us the strength to overcome a tough situation.
If you were naturally awesome at everything (or had enough money to compensate for your weaknesses or make them irrelevant), then it would be easy to forget that God gave you that gift of being awesome (or wealthy), and you may be inclined to think, "I am so awesome! Yay me!" And then you're full of pride. And the pride can make you think, "I don't need God." This is exactly what makes it harder for the rich to get into Heaven, since it's easier for them to get through life without relying on the grace of God to get them through their crises. If you can easily get through life without having to rely on God for help, then you won't have become as close to Him as you needed to be, and in the end, you won't know the way, because pride is nasty that way.
However, if you have weaknesses (and you don't have other ways of compensating for them or making them irrelevant), and you realize you can't do it alone, and you go to God for assistance, and with His help, you manage to succeed in spite of your weakness, then it's much harder for you to take all the credit. Instead of going, "Yay me!" you go "Yay God!" And this can lead you to become much closer to Him, and things work out better for you in the end.
We should thank God for our gifts, because they give us something to share with others. And we should also thank God for our weaknesses, because they give us opportunities to rely on Him and grow closer to Him, that we might not otherwise have experienced.
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Ichigo: "Dude.. your sister is Scary." |
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RustyShackleford
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 481
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | RustyShackleford wrote: |
After much soul searching I found that I just can't cope with the idea of an omnipotent creator who is simultaneously in charge of every atom in the universe. |
I see God as every atom in the Universe, not something seperate from, or in charge of. . but as every atom in the universe, every nuculus, every proton and electron and all the space around each part.
Merle |
That is interesting. So by definition we are all equally part of God as God is part of us? God is the total quantity of energy and potential energy of all interacting particles?
Re-reading what I have written here I realise it may sound like I have certain amount of contempt for religion which is not the case. Maybe I haven't explored enough inside myself to realise God is a strength that can be drawn from using me as a conduit like an innate vault of shared human experience.
These are things I am very interested in and I love to hear people's ideas on the subject. A good friend of mine is one i like to bounce ideas off of as he is studying philosophy. I knew another fellow who was quite a serious Christian but who was also very much into cosmology and the mechanics of primordial particles and formation of galaxies.
I suppose I should have asked him when he was around as I believe he got cherry picked to work on the HST after uni.
I always wondered how cosmology and particle physics can work harmoniously with religious scripture. I guess as I am a rather skeptical person I doubt the validity of texts written thousands of years ago which have undergone translation after translation for anything other than the moral lessons contained therein. On the other hand I personally cannot explain creation or conciousness so why not? I like to think I have an open mind on the subject even though I tend to look toward scientific reasoning.
I guess many scientists have religious backgrounds or find God later in their career's.
Does the God contained within the particles have conciousness? Is some kind of moral karma principle applied to actions dynamically or does one have to wait until death to find out whether you beat the high score required to get into heaven, if indeed the concept of heaven or multiple planes of existance or conciousness or whatever could be reasoned to exist?
I was listening to a radio program which mentioned the weakly interactive particles that are a candidate for being a good portion of the missing 'dark matter' around galaxies and so forth which are only detectable if they happen to bounce off of another particle but mainly passing through matter as we know it. I guess they might discover more once the LHC is up and running. I hope nothing goes horribly wrong.
On a slight side topic I had a nightmare about creating a slowly expanding singularity the other night. In the dream I was trying to hide it as I realised I had 'done the bad thing' by creating it, the gravitational lensing around my house and subsequent time anomalies gave it away. I woke up just as the SWAT team arrived (were they planning on sniping the singularity?). Dreams are weird, like when I had a claustrophobic dream about being stuck to some sort of accreation disk but somehow still alive. These are the reasons I don't dabble with hallucinogens! |
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Social_Fantom
Jinchuuriki
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 13462
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:03 pm Post subject: Re: A question about Autism and God |
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| AutisticMalcontent wrote: | | I often find myself growing furious at God, because I feel He was given me a "curse" (autism) and that He has made me weak around other people when I should be strong and confident, like other neurotypicals I see. After blowing up at Him, I come to my senses and ask forgiveness for being angry at Him. But I want to know, do you guys feel the same way? Do you find yourself becoming angry at God because you think He has given you something you never asked for and something that inhibits your social interactions with other? I'm just curious, thanks for your replies. I consider you guys brothers and sisters in affliction and I have more respect for you than I do my neurotypical brethren. |
Yes, I have recently done that in fact. I could not figure out what I had done to make Him do this to me. I had even concluded that He hated me and has either saying no to my prayers or ignoring me entirely. But I realized that I shouldn't blame Him for my problems. To be honest, I believe that God let's things happen on their own so it was by chance that I and everyone else that is autistic are the way we are. He may still be ignoring my prayers but I realize that I am just going to have to improve my life myself, and I think He was trying to teach me that.
So now, instead of ranting about what I don't have, I'm thankful for what I do have.
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MartyMoose
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 808
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: |
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| My Psychologist said that its almost as if God was making me and gave me alot of genius and savant level abilities decided I was far too superior to other humans and in order to keep me more equal he took away alot of my social skills. |
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Featherways
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 142
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| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: |
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These are my personal thoughts:
We're all made in God's image. In other words, to God, we're perfect the way He made us. Other people might not see it that way, but He does. Does that mean he wants us to be unhappy? Nope. He'd be happier if people made our lives easier. Most of the hell I go through is caused by the thoughtlessness and cruelty of the people around me, not God.
Jesus went through the social hell that we go through. He was shunned by his own people, mocked for being different, betrayed by His mates. He was also beaten, blindfolded, whipped, nailed up on a cross until He died. He didn't have an easy time of it either. When he arose from the dead and was resurrected, he still carried those scars. He wasn't made perfect again. Those scars were just fine for Him to have, a part of him, a reminder that He knew what it was like to be ignored, forgotten, in pain (physical, emotional). He spent his life amongst people like you and I - the social misfits. His disciples were always astonished and presumed that he'd do what the other religious leaders did - show off amongst the perfect people.
So, it seems to me that being Christian isn't about being perfect and healthy and socially brilliant. Some people just think it is. It's about love conquering death, pain, exclusion ...and saying "you're loved anyway, you're welcomed".
Life is far from easy for us (understatement), but we're loved by God as much as everyone else. God's help has always been there for me, even when people in churches have let me down. I have been very angry with Him in the past, when I haven't understood what was happening or when things were too much for me, but He's always been there in the dark times when people weren't. Do I feel cursed? No. Maybe it's more of a curse for people to be born perfect and for them to think that's the whole of what God wants and expects.
Arguably, there's even an account of one of us in the New Testament - the story of the very logical Nicodemus who was totally puzzled by Jesus's account of how someone can be reborn (John 3: 1-10). I also wonder about Martha (Luke 10:38-42) who was so focused on the need to do housework that she didn't realise she was supposed to be sitting down and listening to Jesus.
Ahead of us, a heaven where we can be aspie/autistic and be accepted for it. It'll do for me. |
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googa01
Butterfly
Joined: Jun 29, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 12
Location: Groot Eylandt
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| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| I myself don't believe in the white-fella's god, because the way we were brought up, we had to learn from what our elders told us about the Dreamtime, and our beginnings. When I was little, and a white-fella doctor diagnosed me with Autism, one of the elders ordered the puri-puri man (witch doctor) to point the bone at me. I was therefore frightened I would die, and that I was cursed. It wasn't until the puri-puri- man died and the curse was lifted that I began to realise that my autism was something I had to live with. We now have more contact with white-fellas, but we still believe in the old ways. To us, this Jesus fella was just another man from somewhere near Africa. |
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