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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3044
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 Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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ok...maybe there are AS women, but they're thin on the ground...
First - what kind of woman do you want? they come in all shapes, sizes, and temperaments. Maybe you're just meeting the wrong kind of woman. Categorize what you want, and see how realistic it is, compared to the general population out there. Now - important point. You're not going to find the 'perfect' combination out there, but there may be someone who has many of the same traits (and how boring would it be to be in perfect agreement on everything?...
Second - as the lady said, what do you bring to the table? You must have some good points, or strong suits. What places or activities are going to appeal to women that like what you have? It's almost like sales; you have to emphasize the good things about you, and minimize (or work on) the bad things.
Third - network. Having women friends is possible (to an extent...depends on the man, and the woman). Don't bug them for names of women for dates, but maybe they can help you with how to approach other women, what your good points are, what you need to work on, etc. Your male friends can be some help, but remember a lot of their advice is going to be posturing...
When it comes down to it, each sex is a mystery to the other. But some people like mysteries... |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:22 am Post subject: |
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| lisa81 wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | lisa81 wrote: | I don't understand why you guys even only search "aspie" girls.
you're limiting yourself to women out there. Doesn't matter if you're autistic or not.. I may or may not be and if I'm not I would date an aspie guy I felt I have a connection and it's got nothing to do with my son having autism or what not. It's not about your condition... it's what you bring to the table and if these girls don't want ya... it's their loss and you don't need someone whose going to judge your autism...
everyone wants acceptance... fat people have a hard time.. non attractive people have a hard time... it goes both ways. NT's don't got it better |
Put me into cryogenic stasis and wake me up when nerdy genius is back in style... Then maybe I stand a chance... |
uh well I dunno I was never into the bad boy cool dudes... I've always found nerdy men sexy.. not the whole pencils in pocket with thick glasses kind... but men who can speak about anything other than sports, cars and partying or sex all the time is great. I love learning new things if my man can show me new things great. smart men are way more attractive and I doubt i'm the only chick on this planet who also thinks like this |
Where did you come from, and why do you keep tormenting me with the fact that you have so many endearing qualities but unfortunately aren't in my age range? Are there any women like you out there that are, say, in college? I never see any women at all near mine, let alone people like you... |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1680
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:05 am Post subject: |
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| lisa81 wrote: | | everyone wants acceptance... fat people have a hard time.. non attractive people have a hard time... it goes both ways. NT's don't got it better |
All those could apply AS people aswell. All things being equal, an AS person has it harder in a relationship. I can tell you that it really hurts to get into a relationship, and have things that I can't help ruin things for me. I am no model or pretty boy, but at least I am tall and built/have a good body. I have more than enough problems as is, I can't imagine what it would be like to be me and short and fat. I'd f***ing kill myself. |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11893
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:23 am Post subject: |
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_________________
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire
6thSin:Envy |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:39 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Second - as the lady said, what do you bring to the table? You must have some good points, or strong suits. What places or activities are going to appeal to women that like what you have? It's almost like sales; you have to emphasize the good things about you, and minimize (or work on) the bad things. |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I hope you realize the implications there... |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Space wrote: | | I can't imagine what it would be like to be me and short and fat. I'd f***ing kill myself. |
I can! I can! I was always the shortest boy in school. I am just 164 cm (~5.4 feet) and slim....but still I'd not f***ing kill myself because of some girls rejected me because I am not tall enough for them. When you are born with a negative genetic trait you just have to accept it and live with it.` |
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t0
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 473
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Space wrote: | | All things being equal, an AS person has it harder in a relationship. |
What do you mean by harder? I would say that being in a relationship is more un-natural for me than my wife. But she has to put up with all my obsessions, shutdowns, etc. Who has it worse?
EDIT: grammar |
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moo_cow
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 02, 2007
Posts: 202
Location: SA, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: | | Space wrote: | | I can't imagine what it would be like to be me and short and fat. I'd f***ing kill myself. |
I can! I can! I was always the shortest boy in school. I am just 164 cm (~5.4 feet) and slim....but still I'd not f***ing kill myself because of some girls rejected me because I am not tall enough for them. When you are born with a negative genetic trait you just have to accept it and live with it.` |
I was short during grade school too. Now I am just average, but it hasn't seemed to make a lot of difference. If I was fat, I'd have to find an equally fat person or lose some weight. About AS and autistic people being out numbered with males, males also out number the females in all my college courses. I don't have many "basic" courses to take left. I study Computer Science and Math. I will have to take Physics as well. I have had girlfriends in the past. I just tried many times lately and failed except once but later found out the pretty girl also had a kid and she was doing a lot of things that could get her in trouble, drugs, etc. I ask my NT brother for advice. I'm always asking a NT I know what to do in social situations. Is it okay to ask random people you have never met before out to the movies or dinner/lunch after talking to them a bit or should you have to know a person for a while such as being in the same class with them?
_________________
Green means go.
Yellow means faster.
Red means don't stop. |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 663
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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| LePetitPrince wrote: | | I can! I can! I was always the shortest boy in school. I am just 164 cm (~5.4 feet) and slim....but still I'd not f***ing kill myself because of some girls rejected me because I am not tall enough for them. When you are born with a negative genetic trait you just have to accept it and live with it.` |
Short is NOT a negative trait. Slim is definitely not a negative trait. However, fat IS definitely a negative trait. I'd rather be short than fat any day. Heck, I'd rather be a dwarf than have AS like I do. |
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lisa81
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 07, 2008
Posts: 636
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | lisa81 wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | lisa81 wrote: | I don't understand why you guys even only search "aspie" girls.
you're limiting yourself to women out there. Doesn't matter if you're autistic or not.. I may or may not be and if I'm not I would date an aspie guy I felt I have a connection and it's got nothing to do with my son having autism or what not. It's not about your condition... it's what you bring to the table and if these girls don't want ya... it's their loss and you don't need someone whose going to judge your autism...
everyone wants acceptance... fat people have a hard time.. non attractive people have a hard time... it goes both ways. NT's don't got it better |
Put me into cryogenic stasis and wake me up when nerdy genius is back in style... Then maybe I stand a chance... |
uh well I dunno I was never into the bad boy cool dudes... I've always found nerdy men sexy.. not the whole pencils in pocket with thick glasses kind... but men who can speak about anything other than sports, cars and partying or sex all the time is great. I love learning new things if my man can show me new things great. smart men are way more attractive and I doubt i'm the only chick on this planet who also thinks like this |
Where did you come from, and why do you keep tormenting me with the fact that you have so many endearing qualities but unfortunately aren't in my age range? Are there any women like you out there that are, say, in college? I never see any women at all near mine, let alone people like you... |
I'm only 27 lol and a college student too..
but I always had thoughts like this...
I had my stage of wanting to fit in and went with bad boys for couple months in grade 11 and then realized that's not for me and that I secretly had the hots for the guys who studied at study hall or the library and the quiet and private guys were hot, not ones I'd hang with who disrespected women and all.
AS or not... we all have flaws.... and that's what a relationship is supposed to me.. working together, so if you can't find someone who will respect and understand you and if things of your AS is ruining something in the relationship... if she's NT and has no idea, get her a book or movie or anything and if she loved ya and respected ya she'll do her research and learn how to deal, cope and handle and understand what you're going through and work with you not against you. people nowadays have no patience for one another.  |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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| n4mwd wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | I can! I can! I was always the shortest boy in school. I am just 164 cm (~5.4 feet) and slim....but still I'd not f***ing kill myself because of some girls rejected me because I am not tall enough for them. When you are born with a negative genetic trait you just have to accept it and live with it.` |
Short is NOT a negative trait. Slim is definitely not a negative trait. However, fat IS definitely a negative trait. I'd rather be short than fat any day. Heck, I'd rather be a dwarf than have AS like I do. |
True, but what I mean by negative/positive is what the most people think about it , the same trait can have its cons and its pros like shortness for example(and yeah even dwarfism and AS) but we are in Love and Dating forum here. In romance, shortness was never a helpful trait for male in dating since 90% of girls won't date someone shorter than them and due to this fact you even hesitate to approach any girl taller than you since you would have a very little change to be accepted so it's a negative trait like fatness for women (and probably for men too) but you can lose weight while you can can't gain height so you just have to live with it.
Last edited by LePetitPrince on Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:37 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1680
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I didn't mean to offend anyone with that btw, I know that women are very quick to write guys off based on height alone, even if they are short themselves. |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| lisa81 wrote: | | I'm only 27 lol and a college student too.. |
And 7 years is a big age gap...
| Quote: | but I always had thoughts like this...
I had my stage of wanting to fit in and went with bad boys for couple months in grade 11 and then realized that's not for me and that I secretly had the hots for the guys who studied at study hall or the library and the quiet and private guys were hot, not ones I'd hang with who disrespected women and all. |
Too bad there weren't women like that at the high school i went to... Otherwise I would have stood a chance...
| Quote: | | AS or not... we all have flaws.... and that's what a relationship is supposed to me.. working together, so if you can't find someone who will respect and understand you and if things of your AS is ruining something in the relationship... if she's NT and has no idea, get her a book or movie or anything and if she loved ya and respected ya she'll do her research and learn how to deal, cope and handle and understand what you're going through and work with you not against you. people nowadays have no patience for one another. |
The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work... |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1680
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work... |
I think you need an older woman for that. 25 or older. |
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