I had my stage of wanting to fit in and went with bad boys for couple months in grade 11 and then realized that's not for me and that I secretly had the hots for the guys who studied at study hall or the library and the quiet and private guys were hot, not ones I'd hang with who disrespected women and all.
Too bad there weren't women like that at the high school i went to... Otherwise I would have stood a chance...
Quote:
AS or not... we all have flaws.... and that's what a relationship is supposed to me.. working together, so if you can't find someone who will respect and understand you and if things of your AS is ruining something in the relationship... if she's NT and has no idea, get her a book or movie or anything and if she loved ya and respected ya she'll do her research and learn how to deal, cope and handle and understand what you're going through and work with you not against you. people nowadays have no patience for one another.
The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work...
i think that both people need to work on understanding one another. you must be willing to do so (understand her and appreciate her for who she is) if she is doing the same for you. there is no way around it. it CANNOT be a one way street.
Joined: Sep 24, 2007 Age: 20 Posts: 2376 Location: New Jersey
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:25 pm Post subject:
Space wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work...
I think you need an older woman for that. 25 or older.
I was under the impression that going +- 3 years of my own age was a bad idea...
So basically, you're saying that i have to wait 2 more years and then try to find 25 year old people?
merr wrote:
i think that both people need to work on understanding one another. you must be willing to do so (understand her and appreciate her for who she is) if she is doing the same for you. there is no way around it. it CANNOT be a one way street.
I do find it easier to understand other people when they are willing to understand me, though...
The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work...
I think you need an older woman for that. 25 or older.
I was under the impression that going +- 3 years of my own age was a bad idea...
So basically, you're saying that i have to wait 2 more years and then try to find 25 year old people?
hm... maybe. Most people are more mature at that point... <25 and most people are pretty immature still, and aren't looking for relationships as much... this is just my opinion tho. I didn't date at all when I was 20... I think it gets easier once people are looking for relationships, because some AS traits (honesty, no head games etc) are valued more later. Early 20's most girls are just looking for fast times, and I don't think that's you (or me for that matter). If you can find girls your age that aren't into partying and superficial things, you might find a girl that you can date (they are out there). Unfortunately, most good looking girls at that age are pretty superficial and into the party scene.
Joined: Jun 11, 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 413 Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject:
The loud music, streaming lights, the crowd, the grinding on the dance floor, the drugs, the one night stands? Pick one
None of it is all that logical. Just depends what your after I suppose.
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 5406 Location: That's for me to know and for you to find out.
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject:
moo, first I wouldn't go for aspies specifically. Maybe its just me, I've met aspie women IRL and while they're cool and all it hardly makes a difference - I'm about as likely to click with them and be of the same mindset, interests, etc. as I am another aspie guy for that matter. I've been in support groups and while we all value each other as acquaintances that's about as far as it goes.
I can't tell you what will work for you, myself I haven't found much luck and quite often its either half me or two-thirds me (as in yes, there's a lot more involved than mutual interest which is another layer of frustration all its own). Try to live life as happily as you can, do everything that you can to make yourself feel better about yourself; that's a win-win, if you end up with someone great, if not you still have a much happier and higher quality of existence.
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Age: 28 Posts: 5406 Location: That's for me to know and for you to find out.
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:13 pm Post subject:
Space wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
The issue I have is that I can't find anyone who respects and loves me enough to learn how i work...
I think you need an older woman for that. 25 or older.
Some of my friends have talked about this and seem to think the same, mostly in that they've come to the conclusion that 25 is about the time when a girl actually has her personality stabilized, knows who she is pretty well, and probably won't change a great deal. I like the maturity and intelligence myself, though to be fair I still feel like I'm going through many changes and probably will be into my 30's - nothing radical but still, its precarious (sucks being a late bloomer doesn't it?).
I can! I can! I was always the shortest boy in school. I am just 164 cm (~5.4 feet) and slim....but still I'd not f***ing kill myself because of some girls rejected me because I am not tall enough for them. When you are born with a negative genetic trait you just have to accept it and live with it.`
Short is NOT a negative trait. Slim is definitely not a negative trait. However, fat IS definitely a negative trait. I'd rather be short than fat any day. Heck, I'd rather be a dwarf than have AS like I do.
True, but what I mean by negative/positive is what the most people think about it , the same trait can have its cons and its pros like shortness for example(and yeah even dwarfism and AS) but we are in Love and Dating forum here. In romance, shortness was never a helpful trait for male in dating since 90% won't date someone shorter than them and due to this fact you even hesitate to approach any girl taller than you since you would a very little change to be accepted so it's a negative trait like fatness for women (and probably for men too) but you can lose weight while you can can't height so you just have to live with it.
Joined: Sep 24, 2007 Age: 20 Posts: 2376 Location: New Jersey
Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:21 am Post subject:
lisa81 wrote:
wow this is one thing I hate about being almost 30.....
the men amount is dropping
I'M DOOMED
Well, rest assured, if I were, say, 2 years older than I actually am, I probably would have already tried to hit on you already. So don't give up hope.
wow this is one thing I hate about being almost 30.....
the men amount is dropping
I'M DOOMED
And to think that there are so many other women who complain about being "doomed" to the men in their lives. So be careful what you wish for, because you might get it.
Joined: Feb 25, 2008 Age: 28 Posts: 210 Location: Indiana, USA
Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:25 am Post subject:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Put me into cryogenic stasis and wake me up when nerdy genius is back in style... Then maybe I stand a chance...
Oh, nerdy genius NEVER goes out of style with this girl. I've found though, that many nerdy geniuses tend to dig girls who are really into the counter culture stuff. I'm not. I find that I draw enough attention to myself without going out there and begging for more (i.e. getting a ton of tats or dressing in a certain way).
I met my high school and college boyfriends mainly in marching band (pause for laughter to stop)...then I met the 2 guys I dated my junior-senior year of college online. I like that I was able to converse some, throw out some randomness, to see how the guy would react, but without the risk of that "oh...you are so f-ing weird" facial expression I've come to know so well. It made me more comfortable when I met the guy in person, although I'm still a total freak when it comes to making eye contact the first several times I meet someone. I get so much anxiety about whether I'm making enough or too much eye contact, that I stim constantly.
So...at least you know it isn't only you--the guys--that have problems. We do to, but most men are just more relentless in their pursuit of the vag, so they're willing to overlook our flaws a little more readily. One of my best friends is a male aspie, with a monotone voice, who has this rockin' girlfriend. Prior to meeting her, he was a total internet serial dater...which I am somewhat responsible for, as I encouraged him and helped him set up his postings on MULTIPLE personals sites.
For me, it's not finding someone that's difficult, it's finding someone I can connect to, who has similar interests and beliefs.
I am not in the best geographical location for that, however. _________________ When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
For me, it's not finding someone that's difficult, it's finding someone I can connect to, who has similar interests and beliefs.
I am not in the best geographical location for that, however.
Same here. Nobody in my area seems to be into anything more sophisticated than sports, and I couldn't care less about what this team or that scored. However, not even a relocation would help much in my case, because very few women in general share my interests. Hell, not that many people on WP like the things I like...
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
