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| AS parent, with AS or NT child, NT, Other? |
| AS parent with AS child(ren) would like separate space |
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30% |
[ 13 ] |
| AS parent with only NT child(ren) would like separate space |
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13% |
[ 6 ] |
| NT parent |
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4% |
[ 2 ] |
| Non-parent |
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18% |
[ 8 ] |
| AS parent with AS child(ren) would not like separate space |
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16% |
[ 7 ] |
| AS parent with NT child(ren) would not like separate space |
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4% |
[ 2 ] |
| Other |
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11% |
[ 5 ] |
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| Total Votes : 43 |
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| Author |
Message |
ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 3446
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 Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:22 pm Post subject: *Being AS and a Parent. How many of us on WP?* |
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Been wondering how many AS parents, ( of either AS or NT children) , there are on wp.
Most of the parents who post on this forum are NT or at least have listed themselves as "Family member with AS" as if any AS tendencies of their own take second place in their activity on wp.
I have been thinking that what I miss on wp is a relatively permanent area to discuss difficulties specific to AS parenting, ( and have the option to start new threads to deal with different issues).
This regardless of whether our child(ren) are NT or AS, although AS children are often later to learn to talk, to use the toilet, etc, etc, and are likely to be more of a strain on AS parents for whom body language is often not as clear as words, and for whom certain smells and textures aswell as physical touch can be stressful, etc.
So I've been posting to this effect on a thread started by Greentea on General Discussion at:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt67988.html
and a couple of weeks ago started a single thread, now a sticky, in the relative privacy of the Members Only Forum at:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt66773.html
But response on each has been small, so I am wondering whether this is because there are very few AS parents on wp altogether, or whether, having AS children, they are satisfied with the opportunities that this forum offers to talk about their parenting experience.
I suspect that there are a great many undiagnosed AS mothers out there , suffering prolonged and severe post-natal depression as I did, but unaware of the AS angle/explanation, because AS in women is probably very much under-diagnosed.
But here on wp, are there lots of AS parents, who sometimes/often feel put off/depressed/excluded/discouraged/denied by the predominantly NT treatment of the issue of parenting because it is always about the problems their AS children are having which need "dealing with"?
Are we a miniscule and insignificant minority, or are there a lot of us who would like a forum , shared with older pre-dx AS for example, or alone, to explore the experience of parenting as an AS, exchange ideas and stories, commiserate/support, about what we have felt and struggled with precisely because of AS?
After all, if the term AS means anything, refers to anything real about how we react to life, AS experience of parenting can not be the same as that of NTs.
_________________
"Life is pain; anyone who says different is selling something"
Last edited by ouinon on Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:44 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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lisa81
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 07, 2008
Posts: 636
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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| not dx, but think I'm aspie and my son is autistic and separate from what? |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 3446
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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| lisa81 wrote: | | not dx, but think I'm aspie and my son is autistic and separate from what? |
Separate from the Parent's Forum which is described as being for parents of AS or autistic children, and in which the emphasis is on the problems of their AS children, and not on the difficulties that AS parents might be having with parenting because of specific AS issues with noise, touch, control, textures, dependency/responsibility, etc.
At the moment the In-Depth forum ( near the bottom of the main index page) is what was intended to function as the forum for older AS issues, but it is not members only, thus not protected from casual gaze, and is also so far away from top of forum that is little visited/used.
I would not have any problem using the In Depth forum, and in fact plan to increasingly, for such issues as longterm co-parenting problems for AS parents, etc, but some AS parents would like a members only space, and I would like to know how many AS parents there are on wp, and hear from them about their specifically AS experience of being a parent.
_________________
"Life is pain; anyone who says different is selling something" |
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DevonB
Toucan
Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 262
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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I think there are a few of us Aspies with Children (NT and AS) on the site. I post in the parenting arena regardless. I don't know that we need to separate it into AS parents alone (excluding NTs) as a matter of fact I've learned from reading NT parents and their issues.
I, on the other hand, do believe that we, as AS parents, do have different challenges. I know that parenting for me has been difficult at times. The sound, the noise, the constant demand for my attention. I managed to figure out certain techniques to deal with it all. My kids are now 8 (AS) and 11(NT). My partner is NT, so I have (thank god) her help with them now (we've been together 3 years and before that I was a single parent).
So, maybe my answer is yes...it would be nice to have a place. |
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MsTriste
OTS
Joined: Dec 08, 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 3373
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| DevonB wrote: | | I, on the other hand, do believe that we, as AS parents, do have different challenges. I know that parenting for me has been difficult at times. The sound, the noise, the constant demand for my attention...So, maybe my answer is yes...it would be nice to have a place. |
Quoted for agreement. |
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samantca
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 459
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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| aylissa wrote: | | DevonB wrote: | | I, on the other hand, do believe that we, as AS parents, do have different challenges. I know that parenting for me has been difficult at times. The sound, the noise, the constant demand for my attention...So, maybe my answer is yes...it would be nice to have a place. |
Quoted for agreement. |
Agreed as well. |
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KimJ
Legend in my own mind
Joined: Jun 11, 2006
Posts: 2538
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | But response on each has been small, so I am wondering whether this is because there are very few AS parents on wp altogether, or whether, having AS children, they are satisfied with the opportunities that this forum offers to talk about their parenting experience.
I suspect that there are a great many undiagnosed AS mothers out there , suffering prolonged and severe post-natal depression as I did, but unaware of the AS angle/explanation, because AS in women is probably very much under-diagnosed. |
I'm AS and my son is autistic. I found that I obsessed with coming here and living in purely autistic world. I have stepped back and stopped coming and posting as much as I used to. I don't frequent any other forum here anymore. I have started some new activities in RL and feel a lot better about the direction my life is going. I don't doubt there are other autistic parents that have special interests that overshadow their desire to post so much here.
That said, I don't feel a separate AS parent forum is needed. I think it's helpful for NT parents to see how Aspies parent their kids and I think segregating would nurture exclusionist thinking. |
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sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 2282
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject: Being As and a Parent. How many of us on WP? |
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Beg to differ topic
I am glad to have a special space. My kids are all NT. I was not able to post in the parents forum. It is only for parents of AS children.
_________________
Radical Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory |
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lotusblossom
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 461
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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I think it would be great to have a seperate forum for AS parents.
I dont think it would hurt to have another forum and people can post on this one sometimes and the new one sometimes depending on how they feel.
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drybones
Toucan
Joined: May 15, 2008
Age: 39
Posts: 254
Location: UK
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| lotusblossom wrote: | I think it would be great to have a seperate forum for AS parents.
I dont think it would hurt to have another forum and people can post on this one sometimes and the new one sometimes depending on how they feel.
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agreed |
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ImMelody
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Posts: 779
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:45 am Post subject: |
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| I'd like to see something like this. I wouldn't feel right going into the In-Depth forum because it says age 30+ and I'm only 26. But this may be me being new here as well, I feel the same way about talking about marriage issues in the "Relationships and Dating" forum. |
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flailure
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Posts: 632
Location: my office
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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I'm AS and my toddler is as well, however, I see no need to split the Parents forum into separate categories when the focus of each thread could easily be defined by its title. I also believe that we stand to gain a lot from sharing experiences from our different perspectives in the same context and location.
Perhaps for the sake of the readers our thread titles could look like this: "AS dad/AS son - Communication Issue" or "AS dad to NT parents - how do you...?" Just a thought.
_________________
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"
- George Carlin |
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rekoil
Sea Gull
Joined: May 30, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 224
Location: playing in the sandbox
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm AS, and I don't know about my daughters. I have stayed out of this forum because it says it's for parents of AS children. I see certain traits in my daughters, but I'm not rushing for a diagnosis yet. As far as forming a new forum goes I think it would be easier for this one to become the overall parents forum. Include everybody. It would be a simple matter of redisignating this forum instead of making a new one. |
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aspiewoman2
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 05, 2008
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: i'm an aspie w/ aspie children |
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i haVE 2 BOYS ON THE SPECTRUM. I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT, BECAUSE I WANT TO DO MY PHD ON UNDERDIAGNOSIS IN WOMEN.
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. Albert Einstein |
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Malachi_Rothschild
Deinonychus
Joined: Aug 05, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 335
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| I think it might be effective, rather than creating a new area on the forum, to broaden the scope of the current parenting section. |
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