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pluto
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 27, 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 1068
Location: Paisley,Scotland UK
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 Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:40 pm Post subject: Reconciled with any bullies ? |
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I must admit when I left school (a long time ago) I never expected or indeed wanted to encounter again any of those people who made my life hell with their mental cruelty.
As it happened,more than 10 years after I left school I had chance encounters with 2 of those bullies on separate occasions.This time they were like different people from their schooldays,friendly and civilised.One of them even encouraged me on a new job
I was applying for,saying I was certainly good enough for it.
I'm left with the impression that maybe some of the bullies at school join in on the taunting simply because of peer pressure.Once they become adults they might even
look back in shame at the way they behaved as children.
I wondered if anyone else has bumped into their former bullies in a different
setting ?
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I have lost the will to be apathetic |
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Quatermass
Deranged scientist
Joined: Apr 28, 2006
Posts: 17249
Location: The Crucible
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Except for one, no. He seemed OK, but I had never forgotten the abuse I endured at his hands, so I just didn't say anything much.
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People and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms and the atoms will become... nothing. This is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality itself! |
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Roseduelist
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 154
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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| nope and I still hate them to this very day...I had to deal with them for YEARS and I just got out of it a month ago |
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cecilfienkelstien
Phoenix
Joined: May 11, 2006
Posts: 790
Location: western ontario
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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Alot of people that picked on me in school live close to where I live. So I see them around alot, but I NEVER talk to them. I assumed for the longest time that they had forgotten abot me, as when I was in elementry school I was a ghost. I was ivisable to everyone their. But a few weeks ago I was walking down the street when I saw the most popular kid in my grad walking towards me. I was so nervous as this kid had never even treated me like a human. I was nobody to him.... Anyway as he passed me he smiled and said "Hi, Cecil, How have you been doing. I hope you are doing great." The weird part is I think he really meant it.
Some people grow up. Sometimes it's even the people we least expect. |
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woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| ive seen a few eather in walmart, or the bar, said very little too them, i know they made my life rough for a while, but i still miss those days ironicly... wish i could relive them, heh |
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paulsinnerchild
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 08, 2006
Posts: 1013
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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| I think about two thirds of them. Bullying is all too often a symptom of immaturity |
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KingdomOfRats
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 2675
Location: Manchester
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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have seen a few bullies,have never forgotton what each of them did to am,but don't hate them like used to,they bullied am because am was non verbal and unable to speak back,they were nasty people,but on their own would not do anything to am.
most of the ones have seen since,have come up to am and said hello,they now have little children with them so they cannot be bad anymore if the social services have not taken their children away yet?
one of them is still nasty,she used to get her older sister to bully am because she could not do it herself,she set off a meltdown once,and got injured-she told her sister am had been bullying her,who then started bullying am,and her mum put a formal complaint in.
have been on a bus with am support staff this year,sat at the front,when she got on it and sat opposite with a friend-she saw am sat with the staff,and said to her friend that she used to know and hated am from school,she then started to shout that she has just got a new top job,and was getting married next year,it hurt ears.
everytime she sees am when out,she gets anyone she's with to force eye contact with am,and tries it herself as she knows this is a problem.
for a twenty three year old,she acts more like a toddler. |
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SoccerFreak
Toucan
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Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 296
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:04 pm Post subject: |
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I see my former bully every once in a while in the school hallways, we never say anything to eachother. But I swear on my mother's grave if he said anything negative to me again I would not hesitate to shoot him on the spot.
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It's only funny until someone gets hurt
then it's freaken hilarious |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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| paulsinnerchild wrote: | | I think about two thirds of them. Bullying is all too often a symptom of immaturity |
Especially where they aren't the ringleaders but are just joining in because they think it's cool or because they don't want to be bullied themselves. That doesn't make it any less hurtful though but does leave hope that at least some of them will come to their senses and act more nicely when they grow up.
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Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
I am banned  |
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MomofTom
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 06, 2006
Posts: 597
Location: Where normalcy and bad puns collide
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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There is one girl in particular who used to talk about me behind my back. What made it worse was that she was a grade lower than me at the time. She was the popular, cheerleader, bitchy type.
Then I found out that she was recently Dxd as being bipolar. It explains a lot of her behavior and I don't hold nearly as much contempt for her.
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Apathy is a dominant gene. Mutate. |
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Litguy
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 669
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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How appropriate. Just yesterday, my phone rang. It was someone from my high school class inviting me to a 40th reunion celebration. (It was an all boys, Catholic prep school and I was bullied every day).
I informed him that they had been the worst four years of my life, without going into detail.
He said, "No way!" I responded with an emphatic "Way!"
He then said, "maybe we can turn that around."
I said "I doubt it. Have a great time."
He politely ended the call.
I only vaguely remember his name. He was not one of the bullies. But in a school with only about 500 kids total, I'm certain that he knew me at the time and knew what I was going through.
He was not one of the two kids who ever tried to be friendly with me, so, as far as I'm concerned, he was part of the problem. |
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richardbenson
SITA
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 8600
Location: plastic makes it possible
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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no way man. they can all eat my shorts 
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larry flint is right, its just sex! so relax already will you and yes ive been a loyal customer of hustler since i was able to buy porn magazines ok
hail odin!
hail victory! |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6318
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Some of the people that bullied me in Primary school were quite friendly at high school. I guess people just grow up. The female bullies, anyway. |
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TheMachine1
.
Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 9092
Location: 9099 will be my last post...what the hell 9011 will be.
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| Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 3:36 am Post subject: |
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| Since it was mostly adults that bullied me and I'm old I would guess most of them are in a nursing home or dead. |
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LabPet
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 1803
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:10 am Post subject: |
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Mostly, I do not care and I incite no one. However, I have recently been bullied by one in a professional capacity who was the sole conduit between myself and a supervisor - so, I do care. The bully, who was blatantly discriminatory due to ignorance of my difference, was left unchecked and therefore her abusive behavior accelerated. She was essentially allowed permission to behave operating through her bias. Plus, she was compelled to inform others of my difference, which just spread the misinformation. Discriminatory behavior is contagious and tends to snowball. I guess the 'leader' thought ignoring the matter would make it magically disappear. No.
But, I never confronted her or anyone because I did not want to be treated like a pariah. Consequently, I was blamed for what I am not with virtually no recourse. The bully always wins. But, I have integrity, which they do not. For example, when I asked/offered to perform a certain lab function, she actually said (quote), "No, you might become catatonic." This was in reference to my enhanced sensory modality. Just one of many instances.....BTW, she admittedly has not had so much as a course in psychology or any neurological knowledge whatsoever. Sheer ignorance and arrogance - at least.
Neurotypicals have a need to exert their superficial hierarchy with no regard for another. I am uncertain how to respond to such flagrant dumbness, for lack of a better word.
hey, S.o G.reat S.omeone, are you listening? I suspect so......and I know.
So, I have no advice - confront? Probably not, just inflames the NT who simply does not know better. BEYOND THEIR LIMITED CAPACITY.
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same nightmare, different nap
Lab Pet, therapist slayer
Lab Pet's video: Autism is Synonymous with Science: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYelVlA7kDw |
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