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jemir1234
Emu Egg
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Joined: May 25, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: Why don't girls with Asperger's Syndrome reply on myspace to |
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| I have Asperger's syndrome and i noticed that most girls dont reply like the ones who dont have it but now that i find these asperger girls on myspace ill write them and most will not reply. There are a couple that will and that i talk to but it seems like when i let them know that it bothers me that other aspie girls dont reply they say they dont know. we'll talk about something different for like 5 messages then they will stop replying as well and never reply for 3-6 weeks or until i write them again. once one had took 3 weeks to reply to me and gave a huge lie sating that she thought she replied to my message when she was on and changed her picture. I dont know whats going on but it bothers me. My mom says its becuz i have aspergers dats why i worry about his stuff but it doesnt seem like these girls care so much. Im a boy and i want to know whats up can anyone tell me. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3044
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:18 am Post subject: |
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| could be anything; they could just be 'shy', they don't want to come on too strong, they want you to make another step, they found someone else, they didn't find someone else, they're afraid they'll look 'easy'...who knows? |
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LoveableNerd
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 435
Location: Kentucky, USA
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Why would you expect aspie girls to be more likely to reply in a reasonable amount of time than NT girls?
I know what you are saying though. Non-replies and similar forms of flaking are a huge pet peave of mine as well.
The best advice I can give you is, take it as a hint to back off, even if it wasn't meant to be one. Always assume she is taking the cowardly** way out of a connection... she has decided to end it by not telling you and leaving you hanging. Most women fail to see anything wrong with this, as though it is somehow easier on your feelings wondering what the hell happened than just coming out and telling you hey, I don't want to talk to you any more. I can't say if it is a mostly NT thing or aspies do it too; however, I could almost guarantee some aspies will: because it is a spectrum you can never absolutely say an aspie would never do this or that.
Anyhow, what I am trying to say is that it is always better to err on the side of caution. If they really care anything about you, they will eventually wonder what is going on when they haven't heard from you in quite a while, then check back through their correspondence history and realize that duh!, it is their turn to write you.
**[sarcasm]Of course, this has never happened to me in the past. I don't have any bitterness about this whatsoever.[/sarcasm]
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2108
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:45 am Post subject: |
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| Texting and emailing is a chore. I know of an aspie girl, but she never reply because she don't waste online she has better things to do. |
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TheBladeRoden
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 11, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 1271
Location: Wisconsin
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: |
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What really gets my goat is girls who accept your friend request and then never respond to your messages.
Like hello, if you didn't want me to ever message you you shouldn't have friended me.
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"I reject your reality, and substitute my own" -Adam Savage |
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EvilKimEvil
zoo-music girl
Joined: Sep 27, 2007
Posts: 3040
Location: highway to hell
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 6:37 am Post subject: |
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On MySpace, I get a lot of emails that go something like this:
| Quote: | hi im albert 26 westville
i kinda like dogs too.
wat about u? |
I delete anything from someone I don't know unless they say something that indicates they really want to talk to me in particular, not just any female in my geographical area. An example of something I would respond to would be:
| Quote: | Hey
I love your tattoo of _____!! They're one of my favorite bands! I'm so jealous of that record you have too. You have good taste. I see you like [some band] too. Do you go to see them a lot? I've been to most of their shows but not the last one.
-Bob |
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Thomas1138
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 476
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 6:43 am Post subject: |
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| Where's your tatoo? |
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catspurr
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 781
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| She doesn't know you. For all she knows you could be some derranged lunatic with no redeeming qualities. |
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JerryHatake
Die Hard Mason Fan
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 9388
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 7:57 am Post subject: |
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| catspurr wrote: | | She doesn't know you. |
That is a more likely cause of no replies basically. Rarely I do it but I proffered to know people first.
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sufi
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 16, 2007
Posts: 160
Location: mid-michigan
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 8:19 am Post subject: |
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OK so here is an off the wall theory.
There are a couple of old sayings:
One is that people will often marry someone like thier mother.
Another is you better like the mother of the woman you marry, because that is who she will likely be as she gets older.
My theory is you can be attracted to someone like your sibling as well.
Therefore, instead of looking for an aspie girl who you think will understand you probably is not the way to go.
You should instead look for a girl who has an aspie brother or sister who she grew up with and knows aspie behavior and can respond from experience and is comfortable with.
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kip
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 14, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 759
Location: Las Vegas NV USA
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: |
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That actually makes sense.
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Sedaka
Searching For My Catcher in the Rye
Joined: Jul 17, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 5213
Location: In the recesses of my mind
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:05 am Post subject: |
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im TERRIBLE about all this kind of stuff: keeping up phone correspondence, checking phone messages, checking PMs, responding to PMs, same for emails. i get a lot of anxiety about even reading emails or pms from people i want to make good responses to but... but have no time to doso... ill just skip the message until i do cause i just can't look at them... i get worried they'll think i'm ignoring them.
it's no wonder a lot of the friends that i have made... don't bother with me anymore.
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Tohlagos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 954
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| Aspie_Chav wrote: | | Texting and emailing is a chore. |
So true. So very, very true.
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject: |
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| bah, why you care that much? |
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Anniemaniac
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 316
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Texting and emailing is a chore |
Very true.
I'm female and Aspie, and this is one of the reasons why it takes me so long to reply to emails or texts, if I don't just ignore them. It's tedious, can be difficult (keying in words on a phone is alot harder than typing on a keyboard. Texting is slow and limited) and distracts me from other things I'd rather be doing. I just don't want to spend my day hearing about people's favourite bands/show/phone/eye colour/ice cream flavour. People rarely interest me when they talk. I'd much rather talk about black holes or tornadoes, or better yet, learn about them.
I do like speaking to people in one form though; MSN messenger. It's real time, you can talk to many people at once (which is much easier than reading and replying to every email), and you don't have to remember everything you want to say in one go (it's much more convenient to say "oh, btw" on msn, than it is to send a new email just for a small part you left out). Plus, the emoticons make it easy to spot when someone's joking, bored, serious, happy, sad etc. I believe everyone should carry around a collection of round, yellow faces attatched to sticks. That way, they can hold them up when they're feeling a certain way, then people won't think I'm an ass for not noticing when they're sad  |
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