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nekowafer
Toucan
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 283
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 Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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I almost forgot.. I still have to deal with calling the place to say I'm turning down the offer  Does anyone have suggestions on what I can say to make it quick and painless? |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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I am horrid with this sort of thing...I tend to just ignore it and hope it goes away  ...but if they are expecting you, they will appreciate you doing the responsible thing and letting them know so they can offer the job to the next person on the list.
You could say that after further consideration, you realized the job expectations would not be a good fit for you abilities..phone services are not your strong suit. Most places will let it go at that but if they are desperate they might offer some accommodations...then the ball is pack in your court.....(that's the part I hate...the unexpected return volley)..then you can try and decide if there are any terms that would make you want to take the job. If so, what would they be...if not, then what is your "out"...no thanks is acceptable but make sure you show appreciation for them offering. (Complicated stuff, huh?) It is worth the effort though, because you never know if you might meet that person in the future.
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
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MsTriste
OTS
Joined: Dec 08, 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 3373
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: | I am holding my breath working a job that I hate but forcing myself to stay because I don't want to be homeless again or a burdan to my BF or family. I just don't know what other job to even apply for...everything I have done so far put my anxiety levels on over drive and I'm procrastinating going into try, because of past experiences with rejection, interview and driving anxiety. The evil you know is better then the evil you don't know ? I keep thinking I must have some strengths and there must be a job I could do well that doesn't stress me out but I just don't know what they are or how to get them.
My brain hurts. |
That's me exactly. I HATE my job. I wake up every morning in tears. I can't even explain it, really, it's just everything, including the difficult interpersonal stuff. Plus I work for the state, and the bureaucracy is a bitch to work with. Right now I'm fighting with them over what was supposed to be an automatic pay increase after 3 months of work, and I was counting on the money for the lean summer months when my husband isn't working as a teacher. Unfortunately one of my weaknesses is to overreact, so my first impulse was to quit. I felt like why should I spend my entire life working for a system that's messed up and can't pay people correctly.
One of my problems is that I'm partially disabled from AS, but I also have a significant physical disability. The combination of the two really limits the jobs I can take. Social security doesn't seem to see it that way - since neither disability compleletely prevents me from working, I don't qualify. I'm trying to argue with them that the combination is too much.
For example, every day I seem to have a problem with either AS and/or my physical disability. I have daily pain and have been on and off opiates for them (which make working a challenge plus I have to hide it from my employer which makes me feel like a criminal) but lately I've become intolerant of the latest kind. So my doc this week put me on morphine pills. I had such a bad reaction - vomiting, waking up 5 times during the night, unable to sit up - that I took a sick day yesterday. Now I'm going through opiate withdrawals, which I've gone through several times already after each of my surgeries, and it's a miserable experience. What does this have to do with work? I'm sitting here at work going through withdrawal symptoms: severe depression (crying at my desk for no reason), abdominal cramping and NO energy. Typical withdrawal but nonetheless I feel I have to work while I'm doing it. I can't really take much sick leave as I need to save it up for my next major surgery which could happen anywhere from a month to a year from now.
I just found out I could go back to college instructor, but it would be a significant pay decrease, and it would be going into an unknown situation which is scary. I can't decide if I should just tough it out or switch.
I'm hoping that my current depression over my job is mainly due to opiate withdrawal, and that soon I won't be as miserable.
Thanks, Greentea, for starting this thread. |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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You can get disability but it is almost impossible without a lawyer...they have the system set up to support lawyers, not people with disabilities. If your problem involves social anxiety and some cognitive issues, as mine does...it is a very daunting process. My sister went on disability after a suicide attempt, several shock treatments and over medication made her barely functional. She also has major pain from a life of hard physical labor(two carpel tunnel surgeries and back surgeries)....she is on pain killers which exacerbate depression....they ARE depressants....catch22.
I do not want to be on disability. She barely gets by and lives on credit card debt just to cover meds, having a car to go to DR appointments(small town=no public transportation). It's really a mess. People who resent people for being on disability have no clue how hard even that is to survive. It's no vacation. I know I can work...I just don't know what kind of jobs are available that I would do well at. I thought that the person who DXed me with AS would have some support ideas but all he offered was a chance to come whine twice a month  ...I can do that here with out a co-pay  I still plan on trying vocational rehab but I have such social anxiety....I keep putting it off. Yes I feel like I am going to throw up every time I go into work. At least the Effexor keeps me from crying...that was my old meltdown problem.
If I didn't have my BF to worry about (he has MS)and is so good to me, I would be off this planet already. I just know inside that I can do something productive if given some help....just don't know how to go about it.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
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MsTriste
OTS
Joined: Dec 08, 2005
Age: 44
Posts: 3373
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| krex wrote: | | I still plan on trying vocational rehab but I have such social anxiety |
That's been my reason so far for not doing CBT - having to form a relationship with someone. But things got so bad I DID try to kill myself, so I'm going for the CBT
| Quote: | | At east the Effexor keeps me from crying...that was my old meltdown problem. |
I had my daughter drive up to work this morning with my new Cymbalta. Decided I can't function without it. We'll see how long this one works...
| Quote: | | If I didn't have my BF to worry about (he has MS)and is so good to me, I would be off this planet already. I just know inside that I can do something productive if given some help....just don't know how to go about it. |
I feel for you. Sometimes taking care of others makes us feel better about ourselves.
Speaking of MS, my grandfather lived with his MS till he was in his mid-70-s, died of cancer instead. |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 3666
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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| MsTriste wrote: | | ... Unfortunately one of my weaknesses is to overreact, so my first impulse was to quit. ... |
I did that in my job before last when my annual review was overlooked. I now wish I hadn't. I thought my annual review was deliberately missed because they didn't like me. Turned out it was just amistake and they tried to get me to stay after I gave notice, but having given notice and accepted another job, it was too hard to reverse the decision.
I usually am the opposite, staying too long in jobs that are going nowhere.
| Quote: | | That's me exactly. I HATE my job. I wake up every morning in tears. I can't even explain it, really, it's just everything, including the difficult interpersonal stuff. Plus I work for the state, and the bureaucracy is a bitch to work with. |
but I remember you liked it at first.
What changed? Can it change back?
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I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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SabbraCadabra
Seagull! Seagull!
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Posts: 1234
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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Not really looking, but I should be =/ The only jobs I've ever gotten were ones where my friends got me in, and I didn't even need to do an interview. I don't have the benefit of either of those situations right now, so thinking about filling out thirty applications so I can go to one interview and receieve zero jobs doesn't sound all that appealing to me right now 
At least my mom isn't pressuring me into getting a job like she used to do constantly...I can't help but think it has something to do with her understanding a bit more about AS.
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How wonderful to be so profound. |
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Tahitiii
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 352
Location: NJ, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:37 am Post subject: |
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Ok, so here I am, applying for a job that will be even more degrading than the last one.
Must prepare, get into character.
“I am a complete idiot. I have never had an independent thought in my life. I would be thrilled to take your crap job because… because I’m starving. I believe in consumerism in general and your company’s contribution in particular. I would feel honored and proud to sell your worthless crap to anyone stupid enough to buy it.”
Ah, a magazine. I can wait in happyville rather than the lobby. “Contemporary Bride.” Never cracked one open before. So, where’s the contents page?. All magazines have a contents page, right? So that you can find the articles? How can you have a magazine with no articles at all?
Ok, forget happyville. Must focus and get into character. How can one focus on being brain-dead? I have the mind of an ant… Smile. And nod. And smile some more. I am a complete idiot. I would make a good employee because I would show up, do the work and never think. And I would smile inanely, all day long, because I am so very happy to be here.
A drug test? Sure, I’d be happy to. Got nothing to hide, no-sir-ee, not me. Except that I am morally offended by the concept and the system and think you’re a pig for asking. But the lab won’t find that in the cup.
Thank you for considering me. I’ll be waiting by the phone. |
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Tahitiii
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Age: 52
Posts: 352
Location: NJ, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:48 am Post subject: |
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| nekowafer wrote: | | I still have to deal with calling the place to say I'm turning down the offer... |
In this economy? Take it, and force yourself to keep looking. |
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johnners
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 54
Location: California
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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I moved to the USA in Januray and am now looking for work. It's amazing just how little admin work with limited public contact there is, though there seems to be hundreds of jobs in sales, telemarketing, customer service, busniness development, anything where you have to act the part. Why are there so many jobs (in Northern California at least) for cliams processors at health insurance companies? Is it one of those jobs you do when you really have reached rock-bottom?
I'm also one who would like a job with minimal contact with the public, unfortunately unless you work in a factory or on a farm, you're lumbered. My jobs have all been admin support in colleges and universities, and I've been lucky enough that any contact with the public has been on the phone, where I don't have to contort my face into an interested, caring expression or make eye contact. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 7033
Location: The Emerald Forest
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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| johnners wrote: | | I moved to the USA in Januray and am now looking for work. It's amazing just how little admin work with limited public contact there is, though there seems to be hundreds of jobs in sales, telemarketing, customer service, busniness development, anything where you have to act the part. Why are there so many jobs (in Northern California at least) for claims processors at health insurance companies? Is it one of those jobs you do when you really have reached rock-bottom? |
1.) I thank my stars for having a secure job in the health insurance industry. As long as people continue to age, I will have a job!
| johnners wrote: | | I'm also one who would like a job with minimal contact with the public, unfortunately unless you work in a factory or on a farm, you're lumbered. My jobs have all been admin support in colleges and universities, and I've been lucky enough that any contact with the public has been on the phone, where I don't have to contort my face into an interested, caring expression or make eye contact. |
2.) I can more easily help people by sitting behind a microphone and seeing the member's information on the screen in front of me. They are at the mercy of no facial or body language, they have to rely on my words only. They are in expert hands and I give good service.
There was a big backlash among customers and clients when the customer/client got connected to call centers in High Tech centers overseas in Mysore and Bangalore, India. Now it is considered forward thinking to hire among the company's actual local geographic employment poole.
and it is a good way to build up unemployment for the inevitable.
Merle
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Aspies invented the internet so we could find each other (Y.C.) |
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