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bjcharity
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: My little fellow is tearing up my house. Any Suggestions |
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My little fellow now age 6, has been diagnosed with high functioning autism, his biggest area of delay is speech.
My little fellow is tearing up the house, majorly. My husband and I work from home so that we will be
here for him and able to help him. He will be in the house and us too. If we are not watching him 24/7, in the
same room he will go and start tearing something up. The other day, he was in our master bedroom watching movies
and playing VSmile. I had just peeped my head in to make sure he was ok. With in a matter of minutes, I didn't hear
the VSmile game. My hubby went to check. He had flooded our master bath. Had water filled drawers on the sink and
2 inches of water on the floor. He turned on the big tub. We heard water running and that is why we went to check.
It seems like every day it is something else. We have a mini tramp in the house, a
little rocking chair and many toys. I know Bradley, my little guy, is not trying to be bad, he just is curious.
He doesn't seem to understand that what he was doing was wrong. Any one with Autism, can you help me to understand
and maybe have ideas on what I could do to help him understand. At times I have found myself really frustrated by
him. I love him dearly and want to give him all that he needs. So if I could try to help him to understand what is good
and bad, so as to help him.
I know I have a lot ot learn as a parent, and I truly appreciate all your advice. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Whenever I was younger, it never helped when my parents said "No!" or just "Don't do that!"...I always needed a reason or else I didn't care enough to remember it. Whatever it was I typically saw as "fun" and so I'd do it unless there was a good reason not to.
I guess it depends how much he understands you, and how much he listens to you. I would maybe start there though. There are some other parents that hopefully have better advice than this though, as my experiences were of coarse all perceived through non-parenting eyes.
Anyways, if he is high-functioning then that is good. Most Aspies tend to be highly logical, and as such you might be able to reach him through that ability. Present things in a logical manner, see how well he responds. My Dad would commonly say "You need to think before you do stuff!", which I still remember, and still practice. Acting on your impulses is sometimes ok, but it can also sometimes be harmful to you or others...just need to be able to tell the difference between the two (which is sometimes hard for kids to determine I'm sure). |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:31 am Post subject: |
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It's probably because aspies tend to live in the moment and often don't make the connection between an act that seems interesting and a bad consequence.
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annie2
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 18, 2007
Posts: 345
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe you could try getting him to ask more about doing things. My kids have to ask if they want something to eat, to watch TV, to get special toys out, to go on the computer etc. Maybe you could extend this to a lot more things (eg. turning on taps). I find this saves a few disasters, as they often come and ask me about other things, before just going ahead and doing them. |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 663
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Wow, I did the same thing when I was that age. I'm an aspie and not a high functioning autistic. Nevertheless, I didn't do it deliberately and I don't think your son did either. Its just that its easy to get distracted. Think about it. He's watching TV and a commercial comes on. He gets up to use the restroom and he's washing his hands. Suddenly the show comes back on. Zap, he's back in there watching TV and forgets to turn off the water. That's how it happened to me anyway.
Its very important that he receive special training for his HFA. He should be able to learn his way out of the really destructive stuff pretty quick with that. Unfortunately, that's the easy part of being autistic. |
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bjcharity
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:48 am Post subject: Thank you for your advise. |
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I just joined, to learn more about how to help my son.
I have been reading many different things and your ideas and
advice really will help. What is HFA? I am still learning, so you
will have to bear with me if I don't know all the abbreviations yet.
I know from all your help I will be better able to help my son.
Thank to all of you. |
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annotated_alice
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 170
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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My sons are aspie and 8 years old and were very much like that when they were younger. Left alone for 5 minutes they could completely destroy a room. We called them our little scientists, because it wasn't about wanting to be "naughty" or destructive, it was about being really curious and wanting to investigate and experiment with everything. Creating opportunities for them to experiment safely really helped...stuff like giving them paper that they could rip, old phones and calculators to take apart, time for water play, art supplies that could be mixed, squeezed etc. (paint and play dough are great if they don't bother sensory issues). Also when they are really immersed in a special interest destructiveness isn't a problem at all. Right now they can play with Lego for hours with very little supervision. Is there a special interest of your son's that you could encourage to distract him from his "experiments"?
HFA stands for high functioning autism. Aspie or AS for Aspergers syndrome. |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2398
Location: new england
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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| sounds like at least for now, he needs much more supervision than you're accustomed to......maybe just being in the same room with him is enough... |
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katrine
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Posts: 550
Location: Copenhagen
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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Hi!
You could try to tell him what he should do when he is finished an activity - "when you're finished playing computer, go to your room and do lego" - most of my son's distruptive  behaviour happens when he doesn't know what to do - keep him busy, and things run much more smoothly..... |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 663
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: Re: Thank you for your advise. |
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| bjcharity wrote: | I just joined, to learn more about how to help my son.
I have been reading many different things and your ideas and
advice really will help. What is HFA? I am still learning, so you
will have to bear with me if I don't know all the abbreviations yet.
I know from all your help I will be better able to help my son.
Thank to all of you. |
HFA = High Functioning Autistic
Generally speaking, an HFA is autistic that can go to normal schools and has a fairly normal IQ. Aspies tend to have above average IQ and also go to normal schools. HFA's are slow acquiring language skills at birth whereas Aspies aren't. HFA's also seem to be more prone to compulsive repetitive motion whereas aspies are better able to control it. Low Functioning Autistics are the ones that have low IQ's and can't function in a normal school. If they are low functioning enough, they may need to be raised under constant supervision their entire life such as in an institution. |
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picklejah
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 03, 2008
Posts: 42
Location: New England
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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Is he at home now on summer vacation from school?? If so, he is probably used to a very structured routine.
And yes, I agree he needs more supervision and personal interaction.
Have him help you make a list of things he likes to do. Or make a time schedule for him. Does he have workbooks (like summer workbooks for math or english?) that he can do?? Art projects (be specific about what he can color or paint -- paper only, etc.). Put together a Lego set? Or maybe he needs to run outside for a bit to expend some of his energy? (run around the house, get the mail, run around the house again). You'd be surprised how much that can calm my little guy down.
Every child is different, so I'm sure you can come up with some great ideas of what he likes and needs.
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KingdomOfRats
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 2675
Location: Manchester
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject: Re: Thank you for your advise. |
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| n4mwd wrote: | | bjcharity wrote: | I just joined, to learn more about how to help my son.
I have been reading many different things and your ideas and
advice really will help. What is HFA? I am still learning, so you
will have to bear with me if I don't know all the abbreviations yet.
I know from all your help I will be better able to help my son.
Thank to all of you. |
HFA = High Functioning Autistic
Generally speaking, an HFA is autistic that can go to normal schools and has a fairly normal IQ. Aspies tend to have above average IQ and also go to normal schools. HFA's are slow acquiring language skills at birth whereas Aspies aren't. HFA's also seem to be more prone to compulsive repetitive motion whereas aspies are better able to control it. Low Functioning Autistics are the ones that have low IQ's and can't function in a normal school. If they are low functioning enough, they may need to be raised under constant supervision their entire life such as in an institution. |
am one of the few 'LFA' members here,and do not have a low IQ,am did have the MR label,but it's now written as 'multiple LD' by pyschs.
LFAers can have low IQs but not all do-even the functioning levels have spectrums in them,intelligence results shouldn't be relied on for autists as they make no sense,and arent designed for autistic mind.
bjcharity,
could he be trying to communicate something by doing those things?
am often use physical ways to try to communicate something,a lot of the time,am cant make sense of what they are so cant even type them out/use TTS ,am might head bang on the wall,cut up flesh with anything can find,punch,kick etc wall,smash things etc,staff let am know they know there is a problem then,and they try and find out what it is.
physical ways are often used by autists to communicate [am know of a fellow national autistic society service user who is only able to communicate by playing a board game].
it might be nothing to do with his problem,but thought would add this as no one else has.
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["Even through the darkest days, this fire burns...always"-Killswitch Engage]
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traveller011212
Velociraptor
Joined: May 27, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 476
Location: Right here!!
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:05 am Post subject: |
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Sorry if I am repeating but I need to type this while it is still in my head.
Explain things to him as though he is a computer. Have him watch science channels to learn as that may keep his interest.
The destruction could be him trying to learn, but it could be his way of getting you attention. I don't know how much time you spend with him, but he may need different ways of feeling connected to you.
Something my wife does with AS and HFA children that she teaches is using a system the I call "keeping safe." The gist is that nothing is bad or good, but keeping people, their feeling, and their things safe. It is a good way of giving a reason while keeping the child from developing some sort of complex.
I may actually try to convince her to post some tips because she actually receives complements from researchers in the field on how she handles not only children on the spectrum, but all children. |
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whatamess
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 491
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:19 am Post subject: |
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Although you are both there physically, he knows you are not really there mentally...I know it's tough...I worked from home and took care of my 3 yr old until he turned 7...now, I will just take care of him and not work anymore...I regret that I didn't quit my job earlier...
With that said, I had the water running down the stairs at my house once too...nice...just nice...
The BEST thing we did was buy a swing chair than hangs from the ceiling from IKEA...it was rather cheap, about 30USD or so...hung it in his room in front of the TV...WOW! We wished we had bought it earlier...it soothed him and calmed him down... |
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nlj
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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Even if he doesn't do it intentionally, there still have to be consequences so he can learn. Yes, it feels cruel, but on the other hand, yes it does work - just takes much longer than it does with NT kids.
I would agree about limiting where he goes in the house and giving him a list of things to do.
Even though he's 6, he's going to act like he's 2-3 and he'll probably do this for a long time. |
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