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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2041
Location: Croydon
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 Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: Loneliness Created By Negative Thought |
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Loneoness Created by negative thought
I probably made a thread like this one before. I feel that most people think that loneliness is created by negative thought and that somehow it is possible to change, and some how quite literally create a cure for loneliness.
At the moment I feel a terrible pit in my stomach, and though I don’t feel particularly sad, I know that it is created by loneliness. It just seems as impossible as it is to cure a tooth ach by out thinking it.
Positive thinking may help with other matters such a financial one. For example, everyone knows that there has been a downturn in the economy, and that everyone’s spending power has been reduced. Personally it costs me £36 pounds extra a week, and that does not include the hidden costs. Some people, it can make them depressed; however, for me it does not. It often help by being grateful how we have it not only better then our ancestors but also people of other countries. There are so many things and freedom what we take for granted. We don’t have to be a willing slave to capitalism to be happy. I can go on about how life is good in this country; I can put a Republican American to shame. But it comes to nothing of one, if my biology does not allow for any happiness.
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AceOfSpades
Sea Gull
Joined: Feb 12, 2006
Age: 17
Posts: 219
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 11:56 am Post subject: |
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| I see what you're saying. You can't just shake off the feeling from loneliness simply by thinking positively or getting a new attitude. The need for friends is a need just like eating food is. |
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SapphoWoman
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 443
Location: South Florida
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| <hug> (If you want one) |
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Cyberman
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 624
Location: Telos
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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| I am optimistic that there is a cure for loneliness. There are people who have fully accepted their single status, so I think it's possible. Perhaps the problem is that we've all been conditioned into believing on some level that relationships are a "need"... If that's the case, then what we REALLY need is to re-condition ourselves so that we're no longer thinking inside the box that was created for us by The Beatles... Why should you "need love" if it's impossible for you to find? That doesn't make sense. |
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SapphoWoman
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
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Location: South Florida
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Cyberman wrote: | | Perhaps the problem is that we've all been conditioned into believing on some level that relationships are a "need"... If that's the case, then what we REALLY need is to re-condition ourselves so that we're no longer thinking inside the box. |
This is a cerebral/intellectual solution to an emotional problem. That doesn't work for me. It's the same "argument": some kind of "correct thinking" can "make the problem go away."
I feel the same as the original poster. And, for me, getting less lonely has to do with expressing all of my emotions, and making connections to people who truly understand me. |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 10847
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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Yep I can relate, but can never tell if it's the loneliness or just me (pun intended). It hard to have fun anywhere for me if I'm alone and there's no one there to share that fun with. I used to hang around some fair weathered people, but that too didn't help, in fact it made it worse. 
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject: Re: Loneliness Created By Negative Thought |
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| Aspie_Chav wrote: | Loneoness Created by negative thought
I probably made a thread like this one before. I feel that most people think that loneliness is created by negative thought and that somehow it is possible to change, and some how quite literally create a cure for loneliness.
At the moment I feel a terrible pit in my stomach, and though I don’t feel particularly sad, I know that it is created by loneliness. It just seems as impossible as it is to cure a tooth ach by out thinking it.
Positive thinking may help with other matters such a financial one. For example, everyone knows that there has been a downturn in the economy, and that everyone’s spending power has been reduced. Personally it costs me £36 pounds extra a week, and that does not include the hidden costs. Some people, it can make them depressed; however, for me it does not. It often help by being grateful how we have it not only better then our ancestors but also people of other countries. There are so many things and freedom what we take for granted. We don’t have to be a willing slave to capitalism to be happy. I can go on about how life is good in this country; I can put a Republican American to shame. But it comes to nothing of one, if my biology does not allow for any happiness.
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What's that a photo of?
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
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Cyberman
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 624
Location: Telos
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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| SapphoWoman wrote: | | Cyberman wrote: | | Perhaps the problem is that we've all been conditioned into believing on some level that relationships are a "need"... If that's the case, then what we REALLY need is to re-condition ourselves so that we're no longer thinking inside the box. |
This is a cerebral/intellectual solution to an emotional problem. That doesn't work for me. It's the same "argument": some kind of "correct thinking" can "make the problem go away." |
I disagree. People can be taught how to control or avoid certain emotions, so I don't think it's irrelevant. Plus, there aren't any real "emotional solutions," because coming up with a "solution" requires rational thinking and emotions aren't rational. Even the decision to take a medication for an emotional problem is an act of rationality. |
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Social_Fantom
Maverick
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 10875
Location: Watching from the shadows
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:56 pm Post subject: |
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I stay lonely as I have no one around here to enjoy anything with. I was always an outcast in school and in college though I was rarely attacked in anyway, I am still the one that no one wants to be seen with. I used to not care about being lonely but over the past year or so it really got to me. Now I'm trying to keep better thoughts and it does help a little, but I still have a long way to go before I am free from this loneliness that seems to never go away.
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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I have no one to share my interests with, despite my willingness to travel.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2041
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject: Re: Loneliness Created By Negative Thought |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: |
What's that a photo of? |
Some place in America 1950s. I have romantic views about that time and place. I am not going to get into the grass is always greener situation. |
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Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: Re: Loneliness Created By Negative Thought |
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| Aspie_Chav wrote: | | Tim_Tex wrote: |
What's that a photo of? |
Some place in America 1950s. I have romantic views about that time and place. I am not going to get into the grass is always greener situation. |
Either case, it's a great pic.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
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Location: Pantopia
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 2041
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Cyberman wrote: | | I am optimistic that there is a cure for loneliness. There are people who have fully accepted their single status, so I think it's possible. Perhaps the problem is that we've all been conditioned into believing on some level that relationships are a "need"... If that's the case, then what we REALLY need is to re-condition ourselves so that we're no longer thinking inside the box that was created for us by The Beatles... Why should you "need love" if it's impossible for you to find? That doesn't make sense. |
Society is not completely responsible. If it was the case, other negative society effects would be just as strong such as status. For example those who have achieved a good standard of living get lots of respect, while those who don’t ,such as me, might be labelled as wasters. I now that if I felt this way, a councillor would be of great benefit. It isn’t so useful with regard to loneliness
We might as we try, to become like Mr Spock, Buddha or Jesus who can control their emotion. But nature sees emotions, even the negative ones, as a survival treat. Nature programmes us against being able to easily become like them as a result. The more logical we become, the more nature tries to balance things out by injecting more emotions. The logical conclusion why aspies tend to suffer more depression.
So I have to spend valuable time looking for an NT girlfriend because the alternative isn’t an option. This has to be the biggest proof that freewill is an elusion |
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Aspie_Chav
Phoenix
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Age: 35
Posts: 2041
Location: Croydon
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Fnord wrote: | Mere thought changes nothing; action does.
Acting like you are cheerful will attract more people to you than will moping about. Also, if you are lonely, then go out and meet people.
Just remember to smile.  |
Loneliness has evolved in many Lonely people. If it had a direct effect of making the person look depressed, it would have killed itself off. As a result all the lonely people would have died of with the dinosaurs. The effects it has are most time lonely people appear ok and even very happy like me, but feel at the point of suicide underneath. |
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