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malehonesty
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Posts: 5
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 Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:01 am Post subject: Aspies´honesty????? |
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Well I understand that they can be honest but, I (NT) have lived terrible embarassing situations with a girl I was going out with. She refused to go out with me because she imagined things just things that never happened to me. For some reason she did not rely on me, why ??? If I was a gentleman?? I respected her very much but I got very angry with her. I supposed I didn´t have the patience to handle the situation.
I don´t know but I wonder why that defensive character if I was never going to hurt her... |
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RustyShackleford
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 417
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:13 am Post subject: Re: Aspies´honesty????? |
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| malehonesty wrote: | Well I understand that they can be honest but, I (NT) have lived terrible embarassing situations with a girl I was going out with. She refused to go out with me because she imagined things just things that never happened to me. For some reason she did not rely on me, why ??? If I was a gentleman?? I respected her very much but I got very angry with her. I supposed I didn´t have the patience to handle the situation.
I don´t know but I wonder why that defensive character if I was never going to hurt her... |
I have had similar experiences with a girl who, thinking about it retrospectively could have been AS. After I got to know her more it turned out she had massive issues with trust which I could relate to. She had been through a really rough time as a kid and it is difficult sometimes not to let that colour how you experience the world later on.
Another factor could be finding it difficult to imagine the outcome of a situation and letting low self esteem colour that too. |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject: |
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| If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
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merr
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2007
Posts: 683
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
yeah, but he said the things never happened to him, and she only imagined it. so she's transfering her feelings onto him, which doesnt sound right. i think this can be very frustrating for NTs, who have learned to forgive and forget, or to try to see all sides of the coin- and then for something like this to happen it really just makes you feel horribly down. it's impossible to go through life without someone having done something, intentionally or unintentionally, so it seems somewhat unrealistic to hold grudges and for it to blot out everything good the person has done. otherwise you might as well hate every human being, including yourself. no one is perfect unless they are intentionally trying to hurt you, but from what malehonesty said it seems like it was a bad mistake that made her feel this way. seems like a wall you cant break down to get through to that person. and sometimes you just grow weary.
Last edited by merr on Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:38 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22319
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
That's why I will never date another NT again.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 3853
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
That's why I will never date another NT again. |
What if another aspie betrayed you?
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A place to check for the real truth in politics. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22319
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Spokane_Girl wrote: | | Tim_Tex wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
That's why I will never date another NT again. |
What if another aspie betrayed you? |
So far, that's never happened, so I won't worry about that now.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:45 am Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
I am like that also, until I find something else to pin it on.
For instance, something girl does something very rude or mean and I'm like, "Stupid girls!" and won't trust them.
Eventually I change my thinking along the lines of, "Well, maybe not girls...but selfish girls" and later to "Selfish, spoiled, know-it-all girls". (Actually pin-pointing the problem so its not so generic..keeps my options still basically fully open while avoiding the particular types of personalities that I hate due to bad experience(s)). |
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kiwi
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 249
Location: the GARDEN city..
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:49 am Post subject: yea HONEST |
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| Spokane_Girl wrote: | | Tim_Tex wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | If an aspie has been betrayed in any way, he or she will have a hard time trusting anyone else ever again... |
That's why I will never date another NT again. |
What if another aspie betrayed you? |
Im honest... 
hmm
too honest....
i thought the women of the world want honesty ............................................................................ |
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kiwi
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 249
Location: the GARDEN city..
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 5:51 am Post subject: |
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Do I look fat in this?
Um
Um
UM...
its OK. nah.. |
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malehonesty
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:03 am Post subject: merr I love your comment. |
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For NTs this is absolutely frustrating because we can see the both sides of the coin. Aspies can see only one side. I admit that I got very angry because she never said a word about her problem but I suddenley found out what she had. Well! the outcome is that I have lost a woman I fell in love with. Probably I never knew how to adapt to the circumstances. It is really very painfull but I will try to forget her with time. In fact it is even more frustrating that all my gentlemanliness and good faith has been useless as she understood my good faith as invading her private life or being manipulating. I was trying to help her and make her very very happy.
Psychology is very tough area. If you are rejected you cannot do anything. I am sure I could have done a lot good for her.
Bye! and thanks for your comments. |
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malehonesty
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:10 am Post subject: By the way!! |
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| She told me a lot of lies, I had understood that Aspies don´t lie, so why did she do it? Probably she was scared of my reaction!!?? |
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deathchibi
anime freak of nature!!!!
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Age: 117
Posts: 7178
Location: earth
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| kiwi wrote: | Do I look fat in this?
Um
Um
UM...
its OK. nah.. |
one of my friends asked me that and i said yes... she said i should have said no 
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I shall rule the world with an iron spork!!!!
me fail english! thats unpossible!
4th sin: sloth. |
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malehonesty
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:39 am Post subject: Hi deathchibi |
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Not very funny deathchibi!!
I am being serious about this!! |
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deathchibi
anime freak of nature!!!!
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Age: 117
Posts: 7178
Location: earth
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:51 am Post subject: Re: Hi deathchibi |
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| malehonesty wrote: | Not very funny deathchibi!!
I am being serious about this!! |
so was i.
_________________
I shall rule the world with an iron spork!!!!
me fail english! thats unpossible!
4th sin: sloth. |
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