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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2528
Location: Middle East
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 Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:38 pm Post subject: I can't put it to rest |
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I'm going crazy here thinking how I got fired this time. I was always able to see a reason before, what I did wrong, but not this time. I was a very good employee one day, yelled at all the time the next, then fired.
How can one put to rest something that is very important and that one cannot understand? Especially when I know that I'll have to explain to interviewers why I was fired and getting a job depends also on being convincing. If I don't have a clue what happened, how can I convince others?
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Aspinator
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 74
Location: AspinatorLand
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: On Being Fired |
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First of all, I'm sorry that you have lost your job. Second, when a potential employer calls your previous employer, all your previous employer can verify is that John Doe worked here from ___ to ___.
There can be a myriad of reasons why they decided to fire you so suddenly. It could be possible that other co-workers were complaining about you behind your back (motivated by jealousy or whatever) It could also be possible that your employer knew they would have to downsize and fired you as a cost-saving measure. If you have had to utilize your health insurance recently, that is another possible reason.
If a potential employer asks you about why you left your last job DO NOT say anything negative about it. Say something like you left to pursue personal interests or you didn't feel your last position offered you an opportunity for advancement.
Good Luck on your search and stay positive. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 2904
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I have the same problem but in a different situation, my mind keeps going over what I could have done or said that caused the problem. I think it eases off with a little time and keeping yourself distracted or busy is good. There's just things I'll never understand about human interactions. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1461
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Postperson wrote: | | I have the same problem but in a different situation, my mind keeps going over what I could have done or said that caused the problem. I think it eases off with a little time and keeping yourself distracted or busy is good. There's just things I'll never understand about human interactions. |
Her particular boss was a very incompetent abusive SOB piece of sh** that deserves to be hung by its testicles. Obviously envious or threatened by her superior ability to his. Probably afraid of her being promoted. |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11893
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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I had one worker in particular that said untrue things behind my back and was really close to the manager. I was fired but didn't know why exactly. Moved onto another job and did pretty well.
I'm not sure about your current situation but you have my sympathy since for me I'm obsessed with fairness and life isn't always fair. Sometimes you do what you got to do and that is ask them unlike what I had done in the past and bring it up. I know you had another post about your job but I don't remember what it entailed or the details. Sometimes for me as an aspie I miss social cues and that's what's made jobs tough for me.
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Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire
6thSin:Envy |
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BazzaMcKenzie
Wild colonial man
Joined: Aug 22, 2006
Posts: 3702
Location: the Antipodes
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:14 am Post subject: |
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it wouldn't be the first time that a manager wanted to create a vacancy so that he could hire a friend/mistress.
Is that possible?
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I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
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Kaleido
On an extended tea break
Joined: Feb 19, 2007
Age: 50
Posts: 2237
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:25 am Post subject: Re: I can't put it to rest |
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| Greentea wrote: |
How can one put to rest something that is very important and that one cannot understand? |
I have had things that I am still trying to resolve after twenty or more years. Maybe its an aspie thing, maybe everyone needs a resolution. I don't know, but it is early days so its bound to still be on your mind.
If my arms were longer, I would reach out and pass a cup of tea over to you 
I don't have any biscuits though. |
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CanyonWind
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2006
Posts: 1346
Location: West of the Great Divide
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:35 am Post subject: |
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Can't say I've got the solution, but I sure got the problem.
I've been taking care of plants a lot lately. Never done much of that before, but I've found I really like it. Guess for me it's therapeutic. Trying to think whether that might be significant in this context.
Maybe doing something interesting that's new to me that involves heavy components of aesthetics?
_________________
Yet could we turn the years again,
And call those exiles as they were
In all their loneliness and pain,
You'd cry, 'Some woman's yellow hair
Has maddened every mother's son.' -Yeats |
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JerryHatake
Die Hard Mason Fan
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 9388
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear about your job. When I have something stuck in my mind, I tried some things to forget about most of the time. Though the thought is still there, it just doesn't bothered me as much. Some of these thoughts I literally let go of and moved on in life and it has worked pretty good so far. Try different things to forget about the incident and it might just work for you.
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Each person gets his or her own freedom and passion one by one
For us who were born in order to shine, our journey will continue
The trump card that supports the uncertain days is your Soul
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1461
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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Bullies are a real pain in the ass when they’re given so much power. It's incredibly unfair and counterproductive. They target people who are socially awkward because we can’t defend ourselves verbally. It’s even harder when you can’t just get angry and tell them off because they will use that as more of an excuse to fire you. I know I don’t have the ability to diffuse bullies using wit or social manipulation. Rage is usually the only option with me so if I’m ever in a situation where I can’t just rip into the person to get them to back off I’m screwed.
It’s so absurd that companies give low-level managers the power to fire people on a whim. They’re like parasites. They should at least have to go through some kind of bureaucratic process that involves people higher up. Companies need to rethink their ridiculous policies. |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2528
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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Marshall, I don't think he would fire me without his boss's approval, I'm sure he managed to convince his boss by lying to him about my performance.
Bazza, they're looking through placement agencies, they don't have anyone for the position yet.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Sublyme
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 195
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes I worry that will happen to me. My boss isn't exactly fond of me. I'm sort of a screw up I guess, even though I can be good at what I do.
Your boss sounds like a total a**hole. How can you tell an employee you are going to terminate them once you find a replacement, then still expect them to bust their a** for you? He'll do it because he can. I would have probably left when I was told I'd be terminated. Let him do without you in the time being. Although I understand bills are important too, however my job performance wouldn't be up to par....what would they do...fire me?
Is there a higher up manager you can talk to to at least get a reason why you are being fired? Put it like this: "I just want to know what I did wrong, so I can learn from the experience" Or some nonsense like that.
My boss is a grown up bully. I've seen the crap she pulls with me and my coworkers. Some of it is actually not even legal (regarding patents and such). It took me a really long time to realize it and she still knows exactly what to say to get under my skin, and she can tell full well when she's getting to me, and she's even admitted she knows how to light a fire under my a**. Yes, she actually said that.
If she pulled something like that with me, I'd totally screw her over on my exit interview. It's been done to her before. All I have to do is be my honest self. One reason she doesn't trust me is because of my brutal honesty. She's worried I might mistakenly expose her lies since I just don't know any better. In my opinion, lies and secrets aren't necessary between departments working for the same company, and between a manager and a bunch of directors and VP's. But what do I know?
Anyway.... Your next employer can't ask your employer why your left. Only verify your position and the the date you started until when you left. You could just say on an interview you wanted to explore other options.
Can you really love a job when your boss is a bully? Being bullied in general tends to make me miserable.
I was fired once when I was a teenager, for no reason really. Just that I didn't "mesh" well with my coworkers. That still bugs me and it was a decade ago.
Hopefully you'll get an even better job. Good luck with your search. |
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