Screwed again by speech

Zara · Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject:

I am feeling so bad right now. Agitated, majorly depressed, anxious to the point of having a headache.
My brain has just shutdown on me.

All because of the damn speech class. Again.

I've missed my first speech in the class now so that means I'm good as flunked the class now.
I wish I had an explanation that would make logical sense, but I don't.

I just can not do it.

I do have an anxiety disorder and this is the one area where it still rears it's ugly head again and again and it just completely disables me. Just the prospect of doing these speeches makes my brain paralyzed. Every cell in my body just revolts at doing this.
Why, oh why does the school have to make this a requirement? A f***ing requirement?!
I just cannot do these classes. Does that mean I can't ever graduate? What a load of BS...

This is the third time now. I somehow always go into them, thinking it's gonna be easy, it's not that bad... But by the time the first speech comes around, this happens and I shutdown. It is always that bad. That is a fact now.
I can get away with speeches in other classes, either by not doing them and taking the hit or doing an alternate assignment... Can't do that here though. I'm f****. No way about it.

I gotta get an exemption from this. There is just no other way.
That means back to the school counselors again. I tried to make it clear to them that this was going to be incredibly difficult for me and they said this class would be easy... No it's not! It's the same damn thing again.
I'm not going to be deluded to do this again. I just can't do this. I'm broken in this area. No amount of pushing is going to make me complete one of these classes now.
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