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RustyShackleford
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 417
Location: Nottingham UK
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 Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:25 am Post subject: When are you most lonely? |
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On your own or in group situations?
Lately I have been feeling really lonely when I am on my own. It's not until I seek the company of others that I realise I often feel even more lonely in a group situation.
One on one is OK and I can deal with two people I know very well at the same time. Any more than that and I tend to retreat inside myself. This usually happens if either the conversation shifts to something I have no knowledge or interest on/in or if I feel like someone else is drawing all of the attention and no-one has noticed I am there for a while.
Does this sound familiar to you? |
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sorgenfri
Blue Jay
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Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 93
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: Re: When are you most lonely? |
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| RustyShackleford wrote: | On your own or in group situations?
Lately I have been feeling really lonely when I am on my own. It's not until I seek the company of others that I realise I often feel even more lonely in a group situation.
One on one is OK and I can deal with two people I know very well at the same time. Any more than that and I tend to retreat inside myself. This usually happens if either the conversation shifts to something I have no knowledge or interest on/in or if I feel like someone else is drawing all of the attention and no-one has noticed I am there for a while.
Does this sound familiar to you? |
I find it difficult to be in an one on one situation, especially if the other person is not a very talkative one. I am not good at keeping the conversation going myself. Sometimes i feel anxious around other girls - boys are easier to be with and easier to understand.
"Any more than that and I tend to retreat inside myself. This usually happens if either the conversation shifts to something I have no knowledge or interest on/in or if I feel like someone else is drawing all of the attention and no-one has noticed I am there for a while."
This happens to me too. Especially at parties. |
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Brandon-J
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 12, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 418
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:45 am Post subject: |
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| I feel the same way. I can neither hold a one on one conversation. It tends to die out very quickly and there's a awkward silence then I look around for something to talk about or act like I have to do something. When there's more than two more people I really get self-concious and don't really say anything. One of the reasons is because I can't keep up with the conversation to time my opinion in. And second I just become more shy. I usually be the odd person out not really in the inner circle but on the outside looking in. |
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deathchibi
anime freak of nature!!!!
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Age: 117
Posts: 7178
Location: earth
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:48 am Post subject: |
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in group situations over seven or i have no close friends
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slider9012
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 25, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 8
Location: Irvine, California
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:20 am Post subject: Fridays |
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I feel lonely in group situations AND by myself equally. I really couldn't choose one over the other.
At work, when we have a lunch or something, I feel alone, when I sit in my office, I am alone.
But at least I have access to the internet in my office... that helps...a lot!
Friday afternoons have always been hard for me. I know that I am going to go home.. and be alone... so, that sucks.
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Danielismyname
Troglodyte descended
Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 5926
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:04 am Post subject: |
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| Around people. |
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ManErg
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 05, 2006
Posts: 490
Location: Searching for diamonds in a sulphur mine
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:18 am Post subject: Re: When are you most lonely? |
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| RustyShackleford wrote: | On your own or in group situations?
One on one is OK and I can deal with two people I know very well at the same time. Any more than that and I tend to retreat inside myself. This usually happens if either the conversation shifts to something I have no knowledge or interest on/in or if I feel like someone else is drawing all of the attention and no-one has noticed I am there for a while.
Does this sound familiar to you? |
Very familiar! I very rarely feel lonely when on my own - so many things to do!
With one person is not so bad in most cases as I find it easier to follow the conversation and I guess they can't get up and leave so have to stick with it.
Big crowds are not so bad, but the worst is a small group, dare I say 'party' situation. It becomes a challenge to stay with it and not drift into long silence. The effort required is not enjoyable. At some point I will invariably realise that everyone else is 'connected' and enjoying each others company and I am excluded. I often wonder whether this is real or imaginary. Whether if videoed I would really look detached from everyone else or in fact like a vital part of the group and that I'm just imagining that I'm an outsider.
Parties are the loneliest and after years of seeking them out because "that's just what you do" and hating almost every minute of them, I now arrange my life to avoid them.
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kaytie
Toucan
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 252
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:21 am Post subject: |
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i feel most lonely in a group setting
where everyone is at ease with eachother
except for me... |
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veruniel
Phoenix
Joined: May 20, 2008
Posts: 953
Location: England
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I feel most lonely when I'm in large groups, especially if everyone other than me seems to be in their element. Small groups I can handle, but I'm not really very good at dealing with more than three other people at a time. I can also feel lonely when I'm on my own, but it's easier to bear because it's not combined with that feeling of being excluded by my own social ineptitude. |
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nettiespaghetti
Deinonychus
Joined: May 23, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 323
Location: Michigan
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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I'm worse in a group situation, especially when I'm around people that I have zero in common with. Recently some people from the company I work for had a party and being there I felt like a total reject and horrible so we left. My only comfort was my hubby telling me he was glad I wasn't like the girls there as they were acting rather foolish. (Ok slutty for starters...)
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spudnik
Ain't I a Stinker
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 3775
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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I have always found being in a groups setting as the loneliest kind of situation for me, My dad told me
that you are more alone in the middle of a large city, then when your alone in the middle of a forest.
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Cormac_doyle
Raven
Joined: Jun 26, 2008
Posts: 105
Location: Ireland
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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I used to love going hiking by my self into the mountains ... haven't had a chance to do it in years. I love being alone
However, sitting in the corner of a room while there's a "party" going on is when I feel lonely |
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Eel_Nadroj
Raven
Joined: May 10, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 124
Location: Reseda, California
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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Well I really feel lonely when i'm alone especially seeing my sister and her friends always going out to party and whatnot. I often think it is'nt fare that I am practically begging to leave the house and have fun but it seems no one wants to do anything with me not even my own friends.
and in group situations I still feel lonely especially with some of my old friends it's like we never have anything to talk about and they always seem to talk about the same subject everytime to each other making me feel like the third wheel.
lately this has became a problem. 
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RustyShackleford
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 417
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Eel_Nadroj wrote: | Well I really feel lonely when i'm alone especially seeing my sister and her friends always going out to party and whatnot. I often think it is'nt fare that I am practically begging to leave the house and have fun but it seems no one wants to do anything with me not even my own friends.
and in group situations I still feel lonely especially with some of my old friends it's like we never have anything to talk about and they always seem to talk about the same subject everytime to each other making me feel like the third wheel.
lately this has became a problem. |
That sounds very familiar...
| ManErg wrote: | Big crowds are not so bad, but the worst is a small group, dare I say 'party' situation. It becomes a challenge to stay with it and not drift into long silence. The effort required is not enjoyable. At some point I will invariably realise that everyone else is 'connected' and enjoying each others company and I am excluded. I often wonder whether this is real or imaginary. Whether if videoed I would really look detached from everyone else or in fact like a vital part of the group and that I'm just imagining that I'm an outsider.
Parties are the loneliest and after years of seeking them out because "that's just what you do" and hating almost every minute of them, I now arrange my life to avoid them.
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Also very familiar. I am still finding it so bizarre to have found so many people with the same sorts of feelings towards group situations. I had gone my entire life up until a couple of months ago wondering why I wasn't enjoying myself and connecting with people the way I see others connecting.
Hmm |
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Alea
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 22
Location: NC... blaarrg
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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I hear a lot of you on the being lonely when friends are around
I'm good at talking one on one, but even with two other people, I end up being the quiet one and i feel like a bummer. That's why i'm so terribly attached to my boyfriend. i get really lonely and i hate being by myself, but one other person around is enough for me. It's strange now, because when i was younger, all i wanted was to be alone, but now that's what i can't stand.
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