| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Regarding Children of my own |
| I have no children |
|
56% |
[ 23 ] |
| I have my own biolgical children |
|
36% |
[ 15 ] |
| My spouse/partner has biological children, but they aren't mine. |
|
2% |
[ 1 ] |
| Both my partner/spouse and I each have our own biological children |
|
2% |
[ 1 ] |
| I have adopted children but don't have any biological children |
|
0% |
[ 0 ] |
| I have a mix of biolgical children (from me and/or my partner) and adopted children |
|
2% |
[ 1 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 41 |
|
| Author |
Message |
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 597
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
 Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 6:59 pm Post subject: Children and adoption |
 |
|
I was wondering if there are any aspies on here who have adopted children and what was your experiences and difficulties with them were. My biggest concern is whether I would be able to tolerate not having a perfectly quiet house. Please also state if you are married or single and what your gender is.
Me - I have no children and am a single male. I am considering adoption and was wondering if any other aspies have done that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
pschristmas
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 90
Location: Buda, TX
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I can't help you with the adoption question, but I have raised a child as a single parent. It's not easy, but I wouldn't give up the experience for anything. My daughter and I came to an agreement early on that when I came home from work, I had to have at least an hour to myself. She always played happily on her own as a toddler and younger child, although I did have to work on the clinginess. I had to remind myself that she wasn't being purposefully draining, she was just being a child. I also had to explain to her that, while I loved her and wanted to be with her, I was not a tree and she was not a monkey -- so no swinging from Mommy!
One piece of advice that directly contradicts my mother's advice but works wonders: Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you will be wrong. Apologise when you are. My daughter, now 20 yo and in college, says that's the one thing she respects the most about my approach to parenting.
That and the fact that, regardless of having no clue about anyone else in the world, I could always tell when she was lying through her teeth and called her on it every time.
Patricia |
|
| Back to top |
|
stochastic
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Posts: 85
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I am considering adopting an autistic child, in 10 or so years |
|
| Back to top |
|
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 597
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| A lot of adopted kids come with issues. I'm wondering how big a factor that is. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Age1600
Bonita-Azul
Joined: Apr 23, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 1745
Location: New Jersey
|
| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I was adopted from columbia, south america, from CRAN oraphanedge. I also plan to adopt an autistic or special needs child one day, or foster one. My mother defintely didn't plan adopting a special needs child lol, she didn't believe them when they said "this one has a realllly bad temper, and doesn't care too much for being held" what a wake up call that was to her lol.
_________________
Dxed Classic Autism(moderate to severe as a child, now moderate to high functioning as an adult) & Dxed Tourette Syndrome... 
I'm one ticcing, stimming chica from the Jersey Shore 
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated  |
|
| Back to top |
|
PunkyKat
Velociraptor
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 466
Location: Twlight Zone
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
I have AS and I was adopted. My biological mother is low functning Autistic and is living in a group home. She only had me because she was raped.
Last edited by PunkyKat on Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:16 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
KimJ
Legend in my own mind
Joined: Jun 11, 2006
Posts: 2538
Location: Arizona
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm an Aspie, was adopted and have an autistic child. It took a long time to recognize he was "different" because he was just like his parents. Married but separated, female and my husband is probably an Aspie with extremely good coping skills. He had developmental delays like our son. |
|
| Back to top |
|
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 597
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I have been checking into it and there does seem to be a lot of aspie and autistic kids up for adoption. I was thinking along those lines because we would be more alike than if I got an NT kid. Of course NT kids are good too. |
|
| Back to top |
|
krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:18 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I am adopted and believe my bio mom and possibly father are both AS. My adopted family are very NT and it was a huge issue growing up, (so was none of us having a clue what was "wrong" with me.) My current BF has a teenage son that stays with us on the weekends but he is a great kid, was a bit of a brat but we worked it out. It would be harder if I considered him "my kid" because my BF and I have very different ideas on parenting...but as long as I know he is not "mine", I just let him deal with raising him his own way.
I decided not to have any kids because I didn't want to pass on my depression, (why bring someone into a world you hate?) I aso didn't want to be the type of parent I was raised by.....my mom had a really bad temper and I can feel it emerge in me when I am around noisy kiids...."hey kids, get off of my grass"....comes to mind.
I am simply to selfish to think I would be a good parent. I like my free time.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
|
| Back to top |
|
forallotherthings
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Posts: 77
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I dont think i would be a good parent, i would kind of like to have children though and my partner defnately wants children.
Im female in a serious relationship btw. |
|
| Back to top |
|
CRACK
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 750
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I am Aspie, and if I ever had children, they would HAVE to be adopted and NT. No argument. I refuse to pass on my genes. I didn't like myself as a child, and I hate my former self even more now that I am functioning better on my own and look back at my old self. I know I wouldn't have the patience to deal with a kid with special needs. |
|
| Back to top |
|
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 597
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I'm looking at the current poll results and I am quite shocked to see that many aspies have biological children. I'm thinking that some of the responders are not aspies. I should have made that an option. |
|
| Back to top |
|
pschristmas
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 90
Location: Buda, TX
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I don't know about anyone else, but in my case, the brain may be a little off-center but the plumbing works just fine! 
How else do you think a possibly genetic condition was spread? If you do a search of the forums, you will find many folks here have parents or grandparents (as in my case) who they either know were AS or suspect may have at least shown some traits.
But, yes, if you want to restrict a poll to those who have been officially diagnosed, please state it so in the header. At the moment, I'm still not completely convinced but am leaning more towards the affirmative. Once I come up with the cash for a screening, we'll see what the professionals have to say.
Patricia |
|
| Back to top |
|
sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 2009
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: Children and Adoption |
|
|
Adapting and adopting topic
I hope that any persons who adopt children are excellent parents and work hard. I am the biological mother of three NT children, all of whom I raised without help(even the rat husband hasn't contributed much, except his unwanted opinions) and I was careful. Parenting is a serious business. It is difficult. I hope I have an Aspie/Autie grandchild. 
_________________
Radical Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory |
|
| Back to top |
|
Tim_Tex
Antichrist...and Proud of It!
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18866
Location: San Marcos, Texas
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have no kids, but would like to start a family.
But I am not interested in adoption.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
