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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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 Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:08 pm Post subject: Missed chances... |
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I missed out in HS b/c I was blind to all the girls who were flirting with me everyday...
I miss out in College for the same reason plus sheer fear...
I remember one time a girl just kept talking to me oneday I didn't even know her but once she came into the library where I spent my lunches b/c I couldn't handle the cafeteria but she came in and started talking to me and flirting with me but I was stupid and blind... Course theres so many times I missed out when girls where trying so hard to get my attention and it's so annoying that I miss out just b/c of AS  
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Pobodys_Nerfect
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 414
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Same here. I only got the girls who were very persistent. It's funny, a girl thinks you're hitting on her if you just look at her. And even if a girl comes up to us and talks to us we think they're just being friendly. For me it's because they give signs that they're not interested in more than friends, but I think that's to negate the fact that they've made the first move, so that they don't look desperate. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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I looked for missed opportunities, but don't know of any that I would of jumped at.
Either they didn't happen or they weren't obvious enough. (even thinking of them after the fact) |
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TheBladeRoden
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 11, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 1271
Location: Wisconsin
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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I know for a fact women don't flirt with me. Unless not talking to me = flirting.
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"I reject your reality, and substitute my own" -Adam Savage |
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rifler39
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Age: 69
Posts: 198
Location: Moses Lake, WA
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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Guys, I am from the age before "hitting" on someone meant what it means today. I was talking to a lady with whom I went to Elementary and Jr. High School the other day. I haven't seen her nor heard from her since 1955, but got an email from her on our 50th reunion site.
I commented remembering how she used to come up to me and hit me on the shoulder or upper arm. She replied, "That was the only way I could get your attention." So, from the age of 12 to the age of 69, it FINALLY becomes clear. Sheeese! I can't even claim to have been a dork, as they hadn't yet invented them.
From now on, I want you guys to take any sign of frienliness to be a sign of interest. Getting turned down hurts no more than realizing later that you missed out. Look at it this way: Girls feel empowered when they can turn down a guy's attention. Therefore, you are doing them a favor.  : 
Pops
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Tools are dangerous only while being controlled by a human.
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Vexcalibur
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: Re: Missed chances... |
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| KingofKaboom wrote: | I missed out in HS b/c I was blind to all the girls who were flirting with me everyday...
I miss out in College for the same reason plus sheer fear...
I remember one time a girl just kept talking to me oneday I didn't even know her but once she came into the library where I spent my lunches b/c I couldn't handle the cafeteria but she came in and started talking to me and flirting with me but I was stupid and blind... Course theres so many times I missed out when girls where trying so hard to get my attention and it's so annoying that I miss out just b/c of AS |
Heh, cheer up: this is what I did the only time I am certain that a girl flirted with me: I dropped that subject.
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Mankind is not evil; itīs just misinformed ~ Charles Xavier |
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biostructure
Sea Gull
Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 236
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:28 pm Post subject: |
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I have the opposite problem--I tend to interpret girls smiling at me as a sign that they are interested in me. At least I instinctively do, though I realize this and try to compensate, though probably sometimes I over-compensate, and sometimes I don't compensate enough.
I do greatly regret not pursuing girls more in high school though. For the first year or so I had no interest myself, and then during the last two years I was sick much of the time. In between, I noticed that a decent number of girls, even hot, popular ones, liked me, but I was in no hurry. Ever since I left that school, though, I have never again gotten so close to actually becoming involved with a girl. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3044
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| Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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Sheesh..if you're 21, you've got more than enough time ahead of you to fix that 'mistake'...
don't let it bother you none... |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: |
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| I honestly wouldn't know the difference between "attraction" and "friendliness"... so I'm always forced to assume that it's just "friendliness" because I don't want to be accused of "reading too much" into something. But if you're a guy who wants to have a girlfriend, it's imperative to be able to pick up any "signals" from a girl, because you're the one who's expected to take the initiative. But the signals are usually so damn subtle that they would always pass under the radar for someone like me. Hell, for all I know, it's quite possible that NO ONE has ever been interested in me. Some girls have "fake-flirted" with me, but that doesn't count. |
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matsuiny2004
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Posts: 1443
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:40 am Post subject: |
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There is always online dating too
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A person that does not think he has problems already has one-Me |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11696
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:21 am Post subject: |
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I know what you mean, I've had girls come on to me in school but I never realized it until I learned how to recognize signs of flirting. There weren't that many but there were some.
But this does not make you, me, or anyone else stupid. AS does this to nearly all of us, or has in some point in our lives, mostly in school. You'll meet someone some day, despite not catching the cues, be glad that so many girls flirted with you. I know it's easier said than done, but try to focus on that instead of worrying "what if."
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
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Cyanide
Leader of Shadaloo
Joined: Sep 25, 2006
Posts: 1406
Location: OR
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:31 am Post subject: |
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| Oh yeah, missed opportunities? If I published my autobiography, that would probably be the title. My first missed opportunity for sex was when I was 13. This, well, let's call her promiscuous, girl was flirting with me and stuff. I didn't even know she was until she got angry at me for not responding to her. There are plenty of other cases... |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1777
Location: In between the bright lights and the far unlit unknown, CZ
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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I have had several missed opportunities or semi-opportunities. With semi-opportunities I mean: not sure if she was interested in me, but never even tried due to personal failure in making a move. I have had several girls that I liked but never dared to tell, or either waiting too long and seeing another man walking away hand in hand with her. I make that same mistake over again.
Also, a few times I was in a really good conversation with a nice girl who clearly was interested in at least friendship and maybe more (?) as she was clearly enjoying the conversation. But in the end I somehow didn't dare to ask her number or email address to keep in touch, and probably gave the impression that way that I was not interested in keeping in touch.
Once as well a girl approached me for a talk and we ended up dancing. I find being touched or embraced too overwhelming but it was rock music so with little physical contact. Then at some point the DJ played a slow, and she threw her arms around me and pressed her chest against me. I freaked out and walked away. When I realised what a horrible impression this must have given, I walked back to her explaining that I have AS. At that point I probably already blew it.
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You did it again, yes, you in the mirror
You put your faith in a cruel world...
All my dead friends come to haunt, harm and hinder
Never letting go, here to drag me down to hell
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devster21
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 27, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 518
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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I've had plenty of missed opportunities myself. I changed schools in middle school and when valentines day came around a cute girl from my old school came and gave me a valentine. I don't know how I didn't see that one.  I get women that flirt with me after I "bloomed" and I never realize it till after i'm no longer talking to them.
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I'm always looking for aspie friends. PM me if you want to chat. |
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Aspie1
Overman
Joined: Mar 08, 2005
Posts: 2515
Location: United States
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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I missed a few opportunities. Even when a girl is smiling at me and laughing at my jokes, I usually assume she's just being friendly, or worse, putting up with me out of politeness. While I run the risk of missing a chance this way, the odds of a girl liking me are so low, that the number of missed chances is infinitesimal.
(Oh wow, post #2400.) |
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