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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 3758
Location: In the basement, with the 'nomalies
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 Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:32 am Post subject: Anybody ever have an uncrushable crush? |
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It's driving me crazy. Just when I think it's over, I will see or speak to this person, and bam! it's back again.  I really wish it would go away for good. It's been two years already. How lame is that? Anybody else? 
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"However gradual it looks from here, look if you like, but you will have to leap." |
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zee
human wannabe
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1122
Location: backstage
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: |
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Yes, it's been about 3 years in my case. But the obsessive factor has definatly died down, now I'm kind of at peace with it. I guess this doesn't help you out much, does it...
It will definately die down at some point. Maybe if you got to know the guy better you may realize that he wasn't who you thought, and therefore be less attracted to him. That's kind of what I did. I mean, not so much friendly chat, but rather finding out things about his life, and discovering all his flaws. In fact, if I kept talking to him, I'd probably get over him completely, but I don't see him that often. 
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Oh how I wish for soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again |
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Selo
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 16, 2007
Age: 14
Posts: 375
Location: Sandy Spring, MD
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:10 am Post subject: |
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| I have adored the same person for over two years and he knows it. But he's impossible to get because he despises me and he recently started going out with one of my best friends. I feel like shooting something every time I see them together. |
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Windlord
Butterfly
Joined: Jan 24, 2008
Posts: 17
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: |
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| I know what you mean. There is a girl that I can't seem to get past. And she, isn't interested to say the least. I thought I was over her for a while, you know? Then I saw her again, and she can still take my breath away. A friend of mine said I should just let it go, and I deserve better. She's right, this girl is so wrong for me even if she was interested. It's just hard to let it go I guess. I think I might be starting to, but we'll see. We'll see. |
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TheMidnightJudge
Ghost in the Machine
Joined: Mar 29, 2007
Posts: 1379
Location: New England
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Any particular reason this isn't in Love and Dating?
I've had crushes which never died out, but none of them distract me too too much. |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 3758
Location: In the basement, with the 'nomalies
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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If a mod could move this to Love and Dating, that would be fine.
It would help if the guy weren't married. Worse, I keep suspecting that he is a tad interested. I wouldn't want to get into a "forbidden" relationship anyway. Plus, I really like his wife! What a mess. 
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"However gradual it looks from here, look if you like, but you will have to leap." |
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
Joined: Apr 15, 2005
Posts: 3758
Location: In the basement, with the 'nomalies
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Selo wrote: | | I have adored the same person for over two years and he knows it. But he's impossible to get because he despises me and he recently started going out with one of my best friends. I feel like shooting something every time I see them together. |
Ouch! I know what you mean. Once, I was passing by him and his wife, and she rushed over to give him a kiss. I wanted to cry.
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"However gradual it looks from here, look if you like, but you will have to leap." |
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Azharia
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 179
Location: Cork, Ireland
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| Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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I had one for years as a teen.
SInce got married to guy I ADORE.
But I saw old crush on the street the other day and stopped breathing. :p
COuldn't help it. |
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whatamess
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 491
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| Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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Either I'm old or crazy...My crush? I was about 17...senior year in HS...I am now 39! Yes, I think that's a record. I finally did marry and my husband is great, but honestly, I talk to my friend (we are above all good friends) about once a year...and deep in my heart I know I could never see him again...I thought about moving, but when I found out it would be where he lives, I changed plans quickly. He also laughed and told me, "oh geez, it would NOT be good to run into each other"...and this, after 22 years...kind of scarry...
But yes, I do love my husband dearly. He is a wonderful guy. But sadly, I think I would pass out if I ever saw this other person again...therefore, I have avoided it at all costs...and so has he. |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat is a Sweet Pea :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 34
Posts: 21088
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates :O)
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: |
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Last year, I had a crush on a guy who goes to my clubhouse. Every time he came, I used to put my Clash CD into the karaoke machine and play, '1-2 Crush on You'. We're just good friends now, but that crush was uncrushable, around this time, last year. 
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Sid The Rat is everything that I stand for. We're both large, proud Punkers with Cockney accents. We both have the same issues, as well. I don't see anything wrong, with that. I was put on this planet, to make myself happy. Sid :O) |
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sartresue
Radical Aspergian
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 2282
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
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| Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject: Anybody here have an uncrushable crush? |
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The crush is the crux topic
I do not know how old you are, hartzofspace, but ever since I entered the change of life I have not had any crushes. I know how you feel as I was tormented by them for years. They would make me sick--totally unrealistic and unrequited love. I empathize with anyone who has these anxiety attacks--this is how they feel to me, when the subject of the crush would come into my viewing area. the flood of emotion was so intense that I figured this was what Mr. Spock went through during Vulcan 'heat'. Very uncomfortable. I would not wish this on anyone.
Rest assured, though, it does eventually pass. One day it just disappears.
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Radical Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind
Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory |
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sarahstilettos
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 08, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 852
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| Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: Re: Anybody here have an uncrushable crush? |
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| sartresue wrote: | The crush is the crux topic
I do not know how old you are, hartzofspace, but ever since I entered the change of life I have not had any crushes. I know how you feel as I was tormented by them for years. They would make me sick--totally unrealistic and unrequited love. I empathize with anyone who has these anxiety attacks--this is how they feel to me, when the subject of the crush would come into my viewing area. the flood of emotion was so intense that I figured this was what Mr. Spock went through during Vulcan 'heat'. Very uncomfortable. I would not wish this on anyone.
Rest assured, though, it does eventually pass. One day it just disappears. |
that's made me feel better. I can't wait for them to end. I've become convinced that this is the reason I can't have a real-life, functioning relationship. My one track mind won't let me notice other men. I have to really concentrate on it when I go out, consciously think about looking at other men, looking at who else is in the room that I might like.
I actually slept with mine. He runs a club I used to go to all the time, (and sometimes go to now). Last new year, he broke up with his girlfriend for about a week. I was standing outside his club at closing time, trying to find a friend who's house I always went to so we could drink vodka to pass out. The man I like picked me up - literally picked me up! - and put me in a cab next to him. I was trying to finish a conversation, but he counted down from 5 to 1 and closed the cab door. I should add that we had been flirting for months and I was not entirely unhappy about the situation, ahahaha. We went back to his and had drunk sex.
He made it known that this episode was not to be repeated via a series of increasingly rude, sarcastic myspace messages, which I did not 'get' because my understanding of sarcasm is very poor. I have not had a proper conversation with him since, although he'll speak to me if it involves 'business' (I often write about the bands on his label or mention the club in reviews). I think about him every day.
He was temporarily usurped in my affections by his tattoed, rockabilly styled housemate, but not for long. |
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zee
human wannabe
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1122
Location: backstage
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| Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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That sounds rough. I'm surprised you still think about him after he was so rude. Has it been a long time?
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Oh how I wish for soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again |
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Selo
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 16, 2007
Age: 14
Posts: 375
Location: Sandy Spring, MD
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| Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| hartzofspace wrote: | | Ouch! I know what you mean. Once, I was passing by him and his wife, and she rushed over to give him a kiss. I wanted to cry. |
It's the most terrible feeling in the world. I've been feeling it nonstop for over a year, since he officially rejected me. I don't even like to refer to my feelings as a "crush" because they are far too strong for a giggly schoolgirl term like that. I am hit by little sparks of God whenever he is in sight. |
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Beenthere
10 Miles South of Sanity
Joined: Dec 30, 2005
Age: 41
Posts: 2115
Location: Pa.
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| Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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Just one...he died in a car crash years ago.
We spent hours on the phone together staying up half the night talking....and a bit more. One of the few people I could ever really talk to...about anything.
He had a crush on someone else, the girl he was dating, he worshiped the ground that she walked on but she didn't have a clue...he knew how I felt, although I would never say it out loud.
He got into a fight with her, I was out that night somewhere else...he called my house a couple of times that night, and a couple people told me he had been looking for me...in all the wrong places. He rolled his car less than a mile away from his house going home.
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*Normal* is just a setting on the dryer. |
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