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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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 Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: Creating emotional rollercoasters. |
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There's this really attractive girl that's a bit younger than me. We're in the same house 3-4 days a week for a few hours (she cleans up around the house and babysits my little brothers). She was very difficult to reach through any means (P&C or C&F). Nothing was working. She was taken and ice-cold.
So I decided to use this approach:
Create an emotional rollercoaster by being stubborn, rude, and irritating, while making it known I was enjoying myself all the while.
She's no longer withdrawn toward me. She's pissy, but there's always a certain tension in the air. The attraction stage is over, so now that she's hooked, I'll start reeling (beginning to be relatively courteous, considerate, sweet).
Attraction (Alpha Male establishment) > Comfort (Friendly) > Seduction (First Kiss)
Anyone else had to resort to this? If so, please do relate your stories! |
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poopylungstuffing
"Ultimate Creative Oddball"
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 33
Posts: 4234
Location: not otherwise specified
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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The Loving and Dating forum really isn't the place to discuss the manipulations that constitute pick-up and so-called seduction. I don't think most of us even know what "P&C" or "C&F" mean.
So you you enjoy letting people know you enjoy being "stubborn, rude, and irritating" to them? Read what you wrote back to yourself, slowly, and try to think about what if someone (male and thus nonsexual) was acting that way towards you.
Whether or not it seems to have worked in your case, that's low. Successfully attracting women need not entail being an @$$. |
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Diamond_Head
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 01, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 78
Location: Kauai, Hawaii *Li`uli`u wale ka nohona i ka la o Hauola*
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with NeantHumain. Just be yourself man. You'd be surprised how far being laid back and friendly can get you. Instead of using a formula, just smile and wing it off the top of your head.
I don't think there's really a solid formula to being an Alpha Male. A cousin of mine is a firefighter and is one of the nicest and most relaxed guys I know as far as women are concerned, and he has consistently gorgeous girlfriends. He's a guy who you'd never call aggressive or stubborn by any means.
So I think being an "Alpha Male" really just means being comfortable enough to just act like yourself, without caring what anyone else thinks of you. |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | So you you enjoy letting people know you enjoy being "stubborn, rude, and irritating" to them? Read what you wrote back to yourself, slowly, and try to think about what if someone (male and thus nonsexual) was acting that way towards you. |
If I were a female, I'd probably engage in the game and be just as stubborn, rude, and irritating. And that's what this girl is doing. I'd stop if I thought it was overwhelming to her, or if she was actually offended by anything I did.
But dating is a game of seduction whether you like that fact or not. It's a game that is supposed to be interesting and fun.
| Quote: | | Whether or not it seems to have worked in your case, that's low. Successfully attracting women need not entail being an @$$. |
Yes. It does. You have to be the right type of ass to attract women, but an ass nonetheless. |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Diamond_Head wrote: | | I don't think there's really a solid formula to being an Alpha Male. A cousin of mine is a firefighter and is one of the nicest and most relaxed guys I know as far as women are concerned, and he has consistently gorgeous girlfriends. He's a guy who you'd never call aggressive or stubborn by any means. |
Either he's an anomaly, or there's something going on that you're not noticing. It could be his career itself that's attractive enough for those girls.
Stands though that I'm not a firefighter or cop (that'd be neat...)
| Quote: | | So I think being an "Alpha Male" really just means being comfortable enough to just act like yourself, without caring what anyone else thinks of you. |
It can. As long as "being yourself" embodies the qualities that attract the female gender: assertiveness, leadership, humor, strength, masculinity. |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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One example of being stubborn:
She had the television turned onto Dora the Explorer for the kids. I came into the room and opened up the channel menu to change it, and she kept repeating: "Please don't change it, the kids were watching that." And I ignored her, only to change it onto Tom & Jerry.
Another example:
She eventually dropped the "please"s and got short-tempered with me later, trying to tell me that I wasn't helping and needed to go into the other room. I told her: "You can't order me around. I'm older than you!" Pretty arrogantly, but in a cute way.
It frustrated the hell out of her. But when I talked to her normally after all that, she sounded almost fond of me, talking openly. She was comfortable around me because of all this. |
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Diamond_Head
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 01, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 78
Location: Kauai, Hawaii *Li`uli`u wale ka nohona i ka la o Hauola*
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Either he's an anomaly, or there's something going on that you're not noticing. It could be his career itself that's attractive enough for those girls.
Stands though that I'm not a firefighter or cop (that'd be neat...)
It can. As long as "being yourself" embodies the qualities that attract the female gender: assertiveness, leadership, humor, strength, masculinity. |
That sounds reasonable enough. Well, whatever method works well for you is the one you should go for.
| Quote: | | But when I talked to her normally after all that, she sounded almost fond of me, talking openly. She was comfortable around me because of all this. |
If that's what the result is, then it sounds like you're doing something right. Good luck to you bro. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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Your talking to her, so she talks back. If you were shy, she wouldn't be open. I doubt its the fact that your rude and don't care what she says that is attractive to her. When I'm out looking for a girl, I don't think "Oh look, that girl didn't listen to me at all, that's so HOT".
Girls like to see your not emotionally brain-dead, but that doesn't mean you need to get angry and stubborn and act like you don't care about anything. I'd bet if you were just as open w/o that other stuff she'd still be open and approachable.
It is a game, and it should be fun, but don't be surprised when they also treat it like a game and throw you away like a pawn on the chess board. |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Girls like to see your not emotionally brain-dead, but that doesn't mean you need to get angry and stubborn and act like you don't care about anything. I'd bet if you were just as open w/o that other stuff she'd still be open and approachable. |
Well it's not like I was too shy before. A little social anxiety has never stopped me. I've been open before to a formal response from her without depth, and she wasn't interested in further conversation. When I went this route, she opened up like warmer girls. So it's the nature of my social behavior that had the effect. Men are probably the opposite of this to her all the time, and it bores her. Then here I come. I'm brand-new to her.
| Quote: | | It is a game, and it should be fun, but don't be surprised when they also treat it like a game and throw you away like a pawn on the chess board. |
There's no "throwing me away". Girls don't have me, I have them. And on top of that, I'll never commit to a long-term relationship. I'm not made for it. I'm made for brief encounters. |
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makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 2256
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | The Loving and Dating forum really isn't the place to discuss the manipulations that constitute pick-up and so-called seduction. I don't think most of us even know what "P&C" or "C&F" mean.
So you you enjoy letting people know you enjoy being "stubborn, rude, and irritating" to them? Read what you wrote back to yourself, slowly, and try to think about what if someone (male and thus nonsexual) was acting that way towards you.
Whether or not it seems to have worked in your case, that's low. Successfully attracting women need not entail being an @$$. |
Neant, I have to disagree - if the machination of attraction and relationships aren't to be discussed here, where are they supposed to go, then?
I don't agree with the tactic... although I've seen it work enough times to acknowledge its' validity. There seems to be something desired about a male who is detached, aloof, aggressive and unapologetic... too many times I've seen it successful to question it, just wonder why it works. Is it the need for a sense of chase, the other partner being unattainable? What is attractive in that charade? I don't understand the game... just seen some of the ways it is played.
M.
_________________
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions...?
Why choose a lesser evil? Vote Cthulhu 2008! |
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Diamond_Head
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 01, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 78
Location: Kauai, Hawaii *Li`uli`u wale ka nohona i ka la o Hauola*
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | There's no "throwing me away". Girls don't have me, I have them. |
You got to have an equal balance man. Neither party should be totally dominant. |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Diamond_Head wrote: | | Quote: | | There's no "throwing me away". Girls don't have me, I have them. |
You got to have an equal balance man. Neither party should be totally dominant. |
That applies to long-term relationships, no doubt. But one-night-stands in and of themselves stem from the woman being sexually excited by a powerful, dominating man. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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If your only looking for a one-night stand then your going about it the right way.
Those types of relationships typically burn very hot and then burn out very quickly, as expected.
You go from 0-60 in about 3s and there isn't much time to really think about it.
You give them what they are looking for, they do the same, you part ways. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | The Loving and Dating forum really isn't the place to discuss the manipulations that constitute pick-up and so-called seduction. I don't think most of us even know what "P&C" or "C&F" mean.
So you you enjoy letting people know you enjoy being "stubborn, rude, and irritating" to them? Read what you wrote back to yourself, slowly, and try to think about what if someone (male and thus nonsexual) was acting that way towards you.
Whether or not it seems to have worked in your case, that's low. Successfully attracting women need not entail being an @$$. |
ah, some times being thought an @$$! is the price we pay when we step into the life of another! Every relationship has some degree of actually letting the beloved know they are the beloved. What do we do to let the other one know we are interested. Some times this takes an amount of creativity to get our romantic point across. I know I have to have a bomb drop on me before I will realize some one is attracted to me, it just never occurs to me to look for the signs. If some ardent admirer wishes to approach me, he might be tempted to have to resort to setting his hair on fire just to get my attention romantically.
And if anyone has tips and pointers how not to have to take it quite that far, so much the better.
Merle
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I freed thousands of slaves; I could have freed more if they knew they were slaves.
-Harriet Tubman |
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