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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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 Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:36 pm Post subject: Evolving seduction methods b/c of AS |
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Romance for Aspies fascinates me. We're born socially incompotent, and even if we can assimilate into groups and alleviate some symptoms, there are those symptoms that will stay with us... so we get to romance, where socializing is essential, and we each have to find our own way of obtaining a mate... that's by no stretch an easy task. It's painful, frustrating, and has driven many to giving up or even suicide.
I almost wish there was a unique newsletter for Asperger's Syndrome romance. None of that cliche stuff like "buy her flowers with a Star Trek card", but "How to overcome such and such symptom of AS to better interact with women."
I've gotten pretty far, but it's been difficult. Sometimes downright maddening.
So what do you think about Aspies and their place in the romance/mating community? |
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merr
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2007
Posts: 683
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Im not sure, but if it is usually evolutionary, then it is usually sex (read: whoever is sexy to you) |
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Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't mean scientific evolution, I mean Aspergians evolving their social methods to effectively approach the other gender. |
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merr
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 23, 2007
Posts: 683
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Dracula wrote: | | I don't mean scientific evolution, I mean Aspergians evolving their social methods to effectively approach the other gender. |
ahh ok |
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Pundit23
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Posts: 83
Location: Look Behind You.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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I have your answer.
We serve 2 purposes I've found so far in the grand scheme:
A) Date the smart, shy girl in the corner, and make up for our ineptness with our sheer loyalty and good will. Simply by making the attempt to one of these people, you automatically get a good impression.
B) The eccentric girls: because we're as eccentric as they get before qualifying as full blown mad.
Currently, making friends with girls from A and B, and finally finding some bloody friends in this odd planet!
Would have said, Wrong Planet, but that would be cliche.
Also, try contacting over AIM. Gives you more time to think and revise in my opinion.
Actually was having a parallel conversation to this one RE: The Evolution of Society's niche for homosexuals, so I kind of feel I know what you're asking. Maybe completely wrong though, but overall we're there for the corner spaces. |
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Onibunny
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: California
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:44 pm Post subject: me |
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I flirt like an 8th grade boy. Always have. It's gotten better, Now I flirt like an 8th grade boy who likes books.  |
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Pundit23
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Posts: 83
Location: Look Behind You.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:34 am Post subject: Re: me |
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| Onibunny wrote: | | I flirt like an 8th grade boy. Always have. It's gotten better, Now I flirt like an 8th grade boy who likes books. |
right, now you are an 8th grade boy though, right? because if you're that specific, and say, 40, that's kind of peculiar. Not unheard of, especially in our circles, but then you'd want to be less specific.
ie. Look at the creepiness between these two sentences.
Acceptible: I like kids.
Creepy: I like 14 year olds.
Nothing wrong with your message, just reminded me of that Demitri Martin Lesson. |
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TutuFairy
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 826
Location: Fairyland
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:36 am Post subject: |
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Well, I know that some people appreciate the "weirdness" and how people with AS are different. It's hard to actually get to know people, but once you do, I think they realize how much more loyal and dependable Aspies can be, and I think that in the long run that almost makes up for it.
_________________
"Life is clean when you got the freak gene."
-Me and Schuyler |
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Pundit23
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 07, 2008
Posts: 83
Location: Look Behind You.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| exactly, here here. I second that Tutu. |
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simplyhere
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 25, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:49 am Post subject: Loyalty revisited |
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| That loyalty thing can be true and untrue at the same time. . .ok just hear me out on this one. My aspie boyfriend in the past never strayed to another woman. . .but (I know this is going to sound crazy) it felt like he did because there was someone who got way way more of his attention and time and pampering than me. He always had time for this person and couldn't wait to be alone with this person. . .himself. |
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aguales
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 301
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:19 am Post subject: |
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Trial and error probably works best in evolving relationship stategies. Combine that with someone or something that translates/explains the error, then this is probably the best.
Unfortunately, the very trial of trying can be too intimidating. The error itself can feel like severe punishment. And there may not be someone or something that can translate/explain the error in a comforting way.
One needs confidence to go through the trial. Then humbleness to accept the error. And if lucky, also the kindess of someone or the foresight of something to translate/explain the error.
Relationships are mostly an intuitive, instinctive thing. Logic can only go so far. I believe trial and error can strengthen and refine one's intuition and instinct in these matters. But it still has to begin with the confidence to even approach such matters at all. |
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Aalto
Velociraptor
Joined: May 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 404
Location: W. Yorks, UK
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Pundit23 wrote: | I have your answer.
We serve 2 purposes I've found so far in the grand scheme:
A) Date the smart, shy girl in the corner, and make up for our ineptness with our sheer loyalty and good will. Simply by making the attempt to one of these people, you automatically get a good impression.
B) The eccentric girls: because we're as eccentric as they get before qualifying as full blown mad.
Currently, making friends with girls from A and B, and finally finding some bloody friends in this odd planet!
Would have said, Wrong Planet, but that would be cliche.
Also, try contacting over AIM. Gives you more time to think and revise in my opinion.
Actually was having a parallel conversation to this one RE: The Evolution of Society's niche for homosexuals, so I kind of feel I know what you're asking. Maybe completely wrong though, but overall we're there for the corner spaces. |
It'd be interesting to point out that many people from times past described as "eccentrics" probably fit under the umbrella of AS. I often regard myself as one of the lucky ones, as I see myself capable of not being stuck with these two types of girls, and past experience proves it somewhat. Myself, I teach myself what goes down well and try my best to avoid too many gaffes. I'm probably best at making a girl laugh and worst at keeping up a meaningful conversation in which I escalate in the relationship. |
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