It's so complicated!

seed · Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:06 pm Post subject:

I decided to post this blog that I had written for another website. I also posted the following as a reply to someone else's post about finding love. I'm just so frustrated about how hard it is for me to relate to other people, and how it effects my relationships, and lack of relationships. But, I know it's hard for everyone, unfortunately, in our complicated world.

So much to think about in this day and age. So much information out there about so many issues. Things that are important, and that we should know about and care about: the environment, politics, human suffering, terrorism, animal rights, crime, education, etc., etc. And yet, my mind is drawn to one issue; does he like me? So personal, so self-centered, so important to me because it's one of the main ingredients to my overall happiness, and therefore has a ripple effect on other areas of my life. I'm told that I'm not supposed to care. Hey, I read "He's Just Not That Into You". I'm "hot-stuff" right? And, anyway, I'm a caring person and I have a life and I'm informed and I care about world issues. So why am I so hung-up over the issue of finding love for myself?
I'm not the only one. Online dating is big business these days. There are the well-known ones like Match, and eHarmony, but that's just the beginning. If you have more specific needs, there are websites for those too: religious compatability, special interests, cheating on your spouse, erotic tendencies... the list goes on. And those are just the online opportunities. Not everyone is looking for love in the traditional sense, but there seems to be an overwhelming need for intimacy. And, like the swirling cauldron of semi-important to very important social, economic, political and world issues, the issue of finding another person to connect with is complicated and varied, and universal. I do think it gets muddled in this age of information. Love used to be more simple, I believe. Now, most of us have read atleast one "self-help" book. We've seen programs on t.v., and ofcourse, we have all the resources online. We're so armed with this information that I think we forget that we either like someone or we don't. We "fall in love" (yes, I believe in FALLING in love), or we don't. It's good to be informed. It's good to have resources of information and opportunities. It's good for all the other issues I've mentioned, such as politics and global warming. When it comes to love, though, it seems the simplicity and purity of it has been diminished by the accessablility. So much information and opportunity, and yet somehow less success. What's my point? I'm not sure. I'm just another person who finds that being involved and informed has not diminished my most basic need to be loved. It also has not enhanced my ability to find it. I'm left with that most basic and pressing question: does he like me?

Deep down, I know I need to shift focus fomr "does he like me?" to "do I like myself and my life?" I think that's a healthier way to think, but it just gets lonely.