| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 2256
Location: Arizona
|
 Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 12:16 am Post subject: Asperger's & Competition |
 |
|
Just a quick question for all those on the spectrum (although I am most curious about how it relates to Asperger's) - have you ever encountered problems as a result of being overly competitive? It is something I have been thinking about since reading a post in the Parenting forum about aggressive behaviors in association with playing games. Thinking back, I was frequently told that things weren't a competition... that I needed to back off. Competition in nature is often a dominance-related social issue to establish one's place in the pack; given the impaired level of awareness of body language and non-verbal social signals, does it not make sense that this would be a common area of experience? Those with AS are not only unaware of the signals being given off by others (which can cause troublesome situations by itself), but is also frequently unaware of the signals their own actions are sending. Thoughts?
M.
_________________
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions...?
Why choose a lesser evil? Vote Cthulhu 2008! |
|
| Back to top |
|
tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 1506
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
i can remember getting into trouble for trying to finish meals first, my parents would say "its not a race".. I don't remember why i was eating fast but i just wanted to do something else i thinks.
i would get upset if someone teased me for being slower then someone else... i hated that because it made me feel like a loser. i did not mind not winning i just did not like it if i got it rubbed in my face. like someone holding a trophy for something and saying "why didn't you get one? " in a tone that said YOU SUCK! i hated that. |
|
| Back to top |
|
joku_muko
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 10, 2004
Posts: 532
Location: Oregon
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I am completely non competitive. |
|
| Back to top |
|
samtoo
I'm a paradox...ical... fiery icecube
Joined: May 13, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 1874
Location: England... lemme out! :(
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:19 am Post subject: |
|
|
Competition makes me feel very unhealthy...
In the case of music, which is of course a very competitive world, I find it best not to think about it in a competitive way... I can still make an impact whilst not thinking it's some war.
Healthy competition for some will strike me deep and cause me to be paranoid and bitter... I don't like competition in the general term.
_________________
I am paradox...  |
|
| Back to top |
|
marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1461
Location: North West United States
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hmm… It depends.
I can be overly competitive about things that aren’t supposed to be so competitive (i.e. games). Yet for life in general I don’t see the point in competition and I’m not motivated by the rat race mentality. I’m in a PhD program and the level of competition in academia greatly bothers me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chewbockers
Hummingbird
Joined: Jun 29, 2008
Posts: 21
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:31 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Most of the time I'm not very competitive and don't care who wins or not. It just seems pointless worrying about such things. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Anemone
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 790
Location: Vancouver, Canada
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:58 am Post subject: |
|
|
I get competitive. Part of it is just being focussed, and if you're going to go to all the work of doing something, it makes sense to do it all the way. But I like winning, too, and it's possible I go overboard. However, I'm aggressive about it because it's fun, and if people are complaining then it's no fun anymore, so I don't think I have been criticized much, because I do tend to watch to see how others feel about it.
Also I think it's partly territorial. I am very territorial.
Sometimes I feel competitive about who's more autistic than whom (although who wants to win that race?). Does anyone else get like that? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dragonfly_Dreams
Deinonychus
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 332
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Competition of any kind makes my stomach hurt and triggers extreme anxiety. I think it brings back bad memories of always being the one that got laughed at in school. |
|
| Back to top |
|
NeantHumain
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:57 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I do not enjoy too much competition, but sadly many things in life (at least in the United States) are competitive. Even meeting women is competitive! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Angnix
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 02, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 456
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:12 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I've had someone outright tell me I had "nerdish competiveness" heh, its bad in my case.
_________________
Strange mix of bird/Sonic obsession... I like the Flickies! |
|
| Back to top |
|
aphonos
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 25, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 31
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:37 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have always been very competitive. I realised that this probably wasn't a good thing when I was a teenager but I've never found a way to control it. I'm a horrible person when it takes over, and I'm sometimes quite ashamed of myself  , so I try to hide this aspect of my personality.
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
Draws
Blue Jay
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 84
Location: Ontario, Canada
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:31 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I am also completely non competetive. |
|
| Back to top |
|
makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 2256
Location: Arizona
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
Personally, I am selectively competitive - at a cognitive level. Frequently, my drive and desire for accuracy leads others to think that I am trying to turn things into a competition... and I don't know if I'm just not getting the message from them, or if I am conveying something I am not intending to. When it comes to music, I am competitive with self - it is important to change, to improve from day to day - but in many ways irrelevant in comparison to others unless I am auditioning for a job. In some ways, I think that these are the successes I can measure, so that later when I talk about them there is a sense of showing-off or being competitive as a result. This is taking entirely too much brain power and analogous thinking; I don't feel I'm making myself clear.
M.
_________________
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions...?
Why choose a lesser evil? Vote Cthulhu 2008! |
|
| Back to top |
|
dtoxic
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 313
Location: Boston MA
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 1:36 am Post subject: |
|
|
| makuranososhi wrote: | Personally, I am selectively competitive - at a cognitive level. Frequently, my drive and desire for accuracy leads others to think that I am trying to turn things into a competition... and I don't know if I'm just not getting the message from them, or if I am conveying something I am not intending to.
M. |
I hear this loud and clear. I play tournament chess, pool, and Scrabble, and I am very competitive but always practice good sportsmanship. But some of my non-tournament opponents mistake my desire for accuracy for unhealthy competitiveness. When I play these games outside of tournaments, I still want to do well; my opponents are playing "just for fun", and I seem to ruin their fun by spending a lot of time before the game trying to nail down the ground rules. I don't insist that they play by tournament rules, which are many and picayune, and I'm not trying to set myself up with some sort of advantage - I just want to agree beforehand on a workable set of rules we can play by, so that disputes do not arise during the game. (If I don't nail down the rules beforehand, I INVARIABLY run into game situations where my opponent says "Hey! You can't do that!" or "I never heard of that rule!" and I am not capable of just making allowances or rule changes mid-game - it utterly devalues the game experience for me.)
Whether in or out of a tournament, if I compete at something I want all the rules to be crystal clear to all players, mostly so my opponents don't have a leg to stand on when they try to pull some BS to avoid losing. I never try to pull any BS, because I can accept losing if the rules were followed to the letter by all players. That is part of good sportsmanship, which not all participants have. I want the contest to be fair and decided solely by the skill and talent of the players. I do have an ego and I do like winning but I don't throw it in people's faces when I prevail (again, sportsmanship).
But to many NTs, "sportsmanship" means letting them win (or at least relaxing rule enforcement), especially when they've heard I'm good and they fear losing. |
|
| Back to top |
|
_BRI_
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Posts: 157
|
| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I believe we are pretty good at what we like to do... so NT's tend to be jealous about it. They'll avoid competition or they will try to sabotage us. Sometimes we don't want to compete because we don't want to cope with more social problems and anxiety. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
