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poopylungstuffing
"Ultimate Creative Oddball"
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 33
Posts: 4234
Location: not otherwise specified
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 Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:09 am Post subject: I hate limerence |
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
hate it hate it hate it....how much better we humans would be without it.
I am in a relationship...that is leaning towards being slightly more "flexible"...and so I was stupid enough to allow myself to develop a stupid crush right around the time that my boyfriend was being particularly bad...(he knows about it)
Now all I do is make an ass of myself...and beat myself up over it...and do it again.
I am so stupid.....I want to pull my hair out.
Part of my problem is just a symptom that I really need friends.
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:23 am Post subject: |
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oh, now. . limerence is the insurance of babies being brought into the world. It has the bonding force of 18 months to 3 years for long enough for the pair to bond and the resultant child be big enough to move around on their own.
It has been around so much longer than agricultural marriage for life. It is perfect for wandering tribes and but it really bites if you are into a patriarchal culture, cause you can 'fall in love' in limerence after you have made a lifetime committment to someone else, the limerence will trick you into changing your whole life, and then later leave you high and dry.
I am very suceptable to limerence, it has distoyed my life more than once, driven me to meltdowns and distractions and was the cause of much dissappointment. But the rush of it knocked me senseless, put me on a cloud and all I wanted was more more more. It can be so addicting and the withdrawal shattering.
so, yeah. I hate limerence, too! I can hardly wait for it to strike again!
Merle |
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Veresae
succubus bait
Joined: Feb 25, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 3215
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:41 am Post subject: |
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God, I so agree.
Limerence is only good when it's mutual. |
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LabPet
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 1803
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps a cold shower? I didn't know what limerance meant until I just looked......I wish I was in limerance, I think. But, yes, mutual. If he's not feeling it, is there limerance viagra?
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Pugly
Man-child diligently becoming a Dude, man
Joined: Jan 10, 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 2567
Location: Wisonsin
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:00 am Post subject: |
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It's been pretty amazing the couple of times I thought it was mutual.
Of course it wasn't.
It seems like a great thing, I love the feelings I get when I'm experiencing it...
But the let down always messes up my life. I can't do anything for a couple of days while I wallow in pity and wonder what just exactly is wrong with me. I end up describing a yearning I have for love... that goes beyond description... and when I get a whiff of it... I just can't contain myself with exuberance.
Oh but I wait for the day when it is reciprocated... I don't know what is going to happen... but if the past is any indication it'll be like two unstoppable forces have met and run my engines to the limit.
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 2904
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:13 am Post subject: |
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| I didn't know there was a technical name for it. It's lerv sickness. Is there a cure? I hate it too, it's like a drug but it takes too long to wear off. It's the euphoria that sucks you in. |
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spudnik
Ain't I a Stinker
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 3775
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: |
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I have had it, or at least been infatuated with a lady I have met, I sometimes think of my ex who
I had asked to marry me, that may have been Limerence, since I still think of her after 18 years.
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slowmutant
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Age: 29
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:50 am Post subject: |
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Limirence? Do you mean infatuation? One aspect of the human condition that is universal. Palestinians and Israelis may be the bitterest of enemies, Americans and Iraqis may be the best of foes, but we all fall in love.
How sweet.   |
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Fuzzy
Ack! Thbbbt!
Joined: Mar 31, 2006
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Location: Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:52 am Post subject: |
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Merle and I discussed this once. She knows a lot on the topic.
Luckily I am little to not affected by it.
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poopylungstuffing
"Ultimate Creative Oddball"
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 33
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:55 am Post subject: |
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It's not love.
It's pure stupidity.
Every time it happens I get totally screwed over.
and then it happens AGAIN.
I am just now in the process talking myself out of it...I will recede further back into my cave rather than make a further fool of myself....bah...
what was I thinking?
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Last edited by poopylungstuffing on Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:04 am; edited 1 time in total |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:02 am Post subject: |
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Poopy, must you be so poopy? 
You do realize hat this is how life works, don't you? |
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poopylungstuffing
"Ultimate Creative Oddball"
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poopylungstuffing
"Ultimate Creative Oddball"
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Age: 33
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:08 am Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | oh, now. . limerence is the insurance of babies being brought into the world. It has the bonding force of 18 months to 3 years for long enough for the pair to bond and the resultant child be big enough to move around on their own.
It has been around so much longer than agricultural marriage for life. It is perfect for wandering tribes and but it really bites if you are into a patriarchal culture, cause you can 'fall in love' in limerence after you have made a lifetime committment to someone else, the limerence will trick you into changing your whole life, and then later leave you high and dry.
I am very suceptable to limerence, it has distoyed my life more than once, driven me to meltdowns and distractions and was the cause of much dissappointment. But the rush of it knocked me senseless, put me on a cloud and all I wanted was more more more. It can be so addicting and the withdrawal shattering.
so, yeah. I hate limerence, too! I can hardly wait for it to strike again!
Merle |
gah...it has destroyed my life more than once too.
awful awful awful
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PsychonautChaos
Raven
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 102
Location: Poland, Tczew
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:27 am Post subject: |
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That as all evolutionary fossils make our lives a lot harder.
I personally look at it the same way as the fact that we humans are prone to anxiety, enjoy fatty and sweet foods (which also is a relict of our evolution)
The best thing is to observe it and do not respond to it, and realize it's only the chimp in you talking.
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CanyonWind
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| Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | oh, now. . limerence is the insurance of babies being brought into the world. It has the bonding force of 18 months to 3 years for long enough for the pair to bond and the resultant child be big enough to move around on their own.
It has been around so much longer than agricultural marriage for life. It is perfect for wandering tribes and but it really bites if you are into a patriarchal culture, |
Aww, c'mon it ain't that bad in this "patriarchal culture."
You get to do absolutely anything you want. Nobody else has any rights at all, even the right of children to physical safety, and you get a check every week for the next fifteen years just for being a heartless assshole.
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And call those exiles as they were
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