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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1367
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada
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 Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: i'm DONE with it |
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| interacting with my parents tires me out so much. i don't know what it is. i've just been cleaning my room for an hour and i'm completely wiped. i'm having difficulty thinking, i'm tired, every time they talk i get annoyed, i'm having more difficulty dealing with sensory issues, i actually had to go to the other side of the house when the vacuum was turned on. what's this all about? how do i recharge in time for my party tonight? |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 4995
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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I usually either read a book or bike or take a walk in some nice "people free" nature area. Just being alone,(where you know you ill not be interupted), seems to help a great deal. I'm 44 and still find talking to my parents to be draining and frustrating. I think it's mutual for them....we pretty much avoid doing it.
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1367
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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yeah i'm trying to be alone in my room but i get interrupted every once in a while. i want to tell them that i need this and that this is one of those things that AS does to me but i don't want to start overemphasizing my AS now that i'm diagnosed and seem like a whiny person.
I also want to move out really badly and the psychologist told them she doesn't think it's a good idea, but i can't be around them so much because they drain me. i just don't know how to tell them this. |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 45
Posts: 4995
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, it can be tough to talk to people about our need for down time without there taking it as a personal insult....
"what do you mean I'm draining...sure, that 'other' person is draining, but I'm just like a battery here to recharge you with my wit and gleeful disposition"<-----yes, NT's do seem to lack "aspie theory of mind". For some reason, family seem to resent our just being "boarders who eat their food and use their house as a space"...they want us to be a "part of the family". The fact that you are craving some independence and space is very natural at your age, but we are always about 6 to our parents,so...it's tough for them to treat us as independent units. It's also not that easy for parents to go from thinking your brain is wired differently when they have sort of gotten used to you being "you" and they expect you to act the same 'You', even if you are realizing that that is not always the best way for you to be.
I think your desire to be on your own is probably a desire to find out who that "you" really is if allowed to do as it feels natural. I went through a similar thing when I decided to stop dating guys because I felt like I always was making compromises to what I wanted just to avoid conflict....it was not just exhausting but hard to really know "who" I was....?
It can be very liberating to be one your own but it comes with it's own problems. My parents kicked me out at 16, when I was not ready to live independently. Make sure you learn what you need for practicle skills(shopping, budgeting,cooking,bak accounts, transportation,taxs), keeping special interests in check so you can function. Maybe that is what your psychologist is worried about?
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1367
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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yeah she's worried about the lack of structure and all the added responsibility that moving out requires. my parents would be paying rent and food, they'll either pay housing or transportation if i'm in school, i chose a car for the first two years but i'm moving out now so i don't get the car unless i can afford it, which i can't. i'll also have a food allowance, so budgeting isn't a huge deal, i've been budgeting my food money for the past 3 years, now i just have to worry about dinners. laundry will probably be the biggest thing, my mom still does mine  . i know how to do it, and i've done it many times, just not regularly. |
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